 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (68,977 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:12 pm Post #20961 |
 
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2PM Translation: "I Have No Hot Friends." Male coworker: Do you have any hot girlfriends? Female coworker: Why? Male coworker: I need a date to the Christmas party. She needs to be hot, so that I can make all the other guys jealous. Conservative hicks. Female coworker: Passive aggressive, much? And no, I won't submit my friends to your evil desires. Houston, Texas Overheard by: Female Peon |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:13 pm Post #20962 |
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1PM At Which You'll Be Briefed on My Breathing, Sniffling, and Breaking Wind. Coordination director to coworker who just asked complicated question: What? I'm eating carrots, so I can't hear. And something in the dressing is making me sweaty. Are you ready for our meeting? Albany, New York Overheard by: the equivalent of |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:13 pm Post #20963 |
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12PM As That Graffiti in the Restroom Suggests Female bookseller: How long does it usually take to get your deposit back on an apartment? Male bookseller: It could be two or three months, depending on how big of an @sshole they want to be. Female bookseller: Hm. (pause) Yeah, I prefer smaller @ssholes. Bookstore Des Moines, Iowa |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:13 pm Post #20964 |
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11AM Let's Just Say It'll Open Doors for You Mailroom boy #1: And they say chivalry's dead. Mailroom boy #2: What's "chivalry"? Omaha, Nebraska |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:14 pm Post #20965 |
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10AM What I Like to Call a Jersey Genius Coworker, about botched client presentation: His learning curve is big. He'll make the same mistakes six times before he gets it, but after that sixth time, he'll never make that same mistake again! Parsippany, New Jersey |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:14 pm Post #20966 |
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9AM On the Plus Side, My Personal Shopper Reports Much Shorter Lines High society chick #1: Holy shit! The market's falling off a cliff again. They keep sending me this stuff on my BlackBerry. High society chick #2: Yeah, it's like really scary. High society chick #1: I went to my horseback riding class yesterday, and now there's like half the people than before. Starbucks Toronto Canadia Overheard by: mike sereny |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:15 pm Post #20967 |
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5PM He's Only Authorized Girl-on-Girl Affairs. Woman testing cologne to daughter: Oh, no, if I go home smelling like a man, dad will know what I've been doing. Roosevelt Field Mall East Garden City, New York Overheard by: T-Dizzle |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:15 pm Post #20968 |
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4PM On the Plus Side, Last Time I Did That, I Missed Most Of the 80's Boss: Were you asleep? Manager: No, I was just in the middle of a really long blink. Kitchener Ontario Canadia Overheard by: Michele R. |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:15 pm Post #20969 |
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3PM At Least This Time It Didn't Involve an ER Visit Coworker #1, in copier room: That copier needs some KY. Coworker #2: (hysterical laughing) Coworker #1: Oh, no! I meant WD-40. I always do that! Richmond, Virginia |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:15 pm Post #20970 |
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2PM The Sash and Tiara Are Just One Facet Of the Office Office drone on phone: There's a woman out there. Oh, that's not a woman, that's the governor. Providence, Rhode Island Overheard by: evelyn |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:16 pm Post #20971 |
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1PM Every Office Has One Person Who's Confused by Metaphors Lab tech #1, about piece of lab equipment: You have to make love to it. Lab tech #2: Oh! That's way too big! Lab tech #1: You just have to finesse it. Lab tech #2: No, seriously, that's really big. Eugene, Oregon |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:16 pm Post #20972 |
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12PM Seriously, Ladies, Get Off the Steroids Before It's Too Late Male buyer: Did you take care of Tina's Johnson? Female buyer: (blank stare) Male buyer: Well, that didn't sound right now, did it? Melbourne, Florida Overheard by: Cupcake |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:16 pm Post #20973 |
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11AM And You Say I Never Share My Emotions, Honey. Cube rat on phone: I hate those poops that leave you feeling like you spent a night in jail! Fairbanks, Alaska |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:17 pm Post #20974 |
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10AM Blushing Furiously, I Dressed My Salad Yelling receptionist: The first one I grabbed was completely naked! Fairbanks, Alaska |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:17 pm Post #20975 |
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9AM But I Decided to Let My Husband Wear Them for a Day Sassy Asian woman: I wish I had my pants on today. Hudson & Houston New York City, New York Overheard by: Harriet Vane |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:17 pm Post #20976 |
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5PM ...If the FBI Asks. Cashier, ringing up books: Okay, ma'am, and would you like to donate a book to a foster child tonight? Customer: No, it's okay, I'm already doing a foster child. (cashier stares in shock) Customer: Oh, wait. I meant to say I'm mentoring a foster child. Barnes & Noble Seattle, Washington |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:18 pm Post #20977 |
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4PM My Mullet Is All Business in the Front. Mike: What's Linkedin? Ryan: It's Facebook for professional people. Mike: Well, I should get on that, because I'm pretty f#cking professional! Wilmington, North Carolina |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:19 pm Post #20978 |
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3PM Go Go Gadget Homophobic Armor! Male barista, startled by close stance of male trainees: Dude storm, dude storm! Cambridge, Massachusetts |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:20 pm Post #20979 |
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2PM As I Put Down Under "Weaknesses" on My Job Application Female cube dweller: I know! I am such a bad smeller! Hartford, Connecticut |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:34 pm Post #20980 |
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1PM Well, Thanks for the Educational Slideshow, Regardless. Female employee, in front of doorway: Why are some really big and others small? Male employee: Dunno, seems like it was meant to be. United Way South Florida |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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