 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,001 Views) | |
| Gummy | Tue Jun 9, 2009 4:20 pm Post #20481 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue Jun 9, 2009 4:21 pm Post #20482 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue Jun 9, 2009 4:21 pm Post #20483 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue Jun 9, 2009 4:22 pm Post #20484 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue Jun 9, 2009 4:22 pm Post #20485 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue Jun 9, 2009 4:23 pm Post #20486 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue Jun 9, 2009 4:23 pm Post #20487 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue Jun 9, 2009 4:24 pm Post #20488 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue Jun 9, 2009 4:24 pm Post #20489 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue Jun 9, 2009 4:25 pm Post #20490 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Tue Jun 9, 2009 4:25 pm Post #20491 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 7:00 pm Post #20492 |
 
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Ah, Marriage Pizza | Eugene, OR, USA Me: “Hi, welcome to [pizza restaurant], would you like to hear about our specials? Customer: “I was wondering if you could make your Delite pizzas in the family size.” Me: “I apologize, but we only serve the Delite pizzas in the large.” Customer: “… but I want the Delite in the family size.” Me: “I’m sorry, but the thin crust only comes in the large size.” Customer: “I don’t want the large size! I want the family!” (I hear her husband yelling at her in the background.) Customer’s husband: “She already told you they don’t make it in the family size!” Customer: “I know that. But I want the family size.” Customer’s husband: “JUST GET THE LARGE!” (The couple continues to argue for a minute or so before I interrupt them.) Me: “I’m sorry, but is there something else we could get you?” Customer: “NO! I DON’T WANT YOUR GODD**N PIZZA!” *slams down phone* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 7:00 pm Post #20493 |
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All Husbands Must Be Kept On A Leash Grocery Store | Vancouver, BC, Canada (Note: I was one of the quickest and most efficient cashiers at my store, and often received positive comments about this from the customers.) Wife: “My, you’re just whizzing along! I can’t believe how fast you are!” Husband: “Didn’t you know? That’s the store’s new policy. They only hire fast women.” Me: *chuckles good-naturedly* Wife: “Don’t mind my husband. We only let him out on weekends.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 7:01 pm Post #20494 |
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Behind Every Man Is An Embarassed Wife Fast Food | USA (The place I work at, our dining room closes at 10pm but the drive-through stays open all night. I had just locked both the dining room doors when a man comes up and starts banging on the 1st door. We start talking through the door.) Me: “Sorry, we’re closed.” Customer: “You screwed up my order!” Me: “I’m sorry. You could go through our drive-through and they’d be happy to help you.” Customer: “I just came through! They’re the ones that messed it up.” Me: “I’m really sorry about that, if you go through again they’ll fix it for you.” Customer: “I don’t have my car!” Me: “But you said you just went through?” Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t have my car anymore.” Me: “I can give you our store number. If you call, we’ll replace your order tomorrow.” Customer: “Just open the door!” Me: “I can’t sir, we’re closed.” (The man then walks around the store to the 2nd door and starts banging there.) Me: “Sir, the only way we can fix this is if you go through the drive-through or give us a call.” Customer: “I don’t have a phone!” Me: “You can save your receipt and show it to us tomorrow. We’ll replace the whole order.” Customer: “This is bullshit!” (He then enters the drive-through on foot, weaving through cars in line, gets between the drive-through window and a car waiting to order and starts banging on the glass.) Manager: “I’m sorry sir, I can’t open the window unless you’re in a car.” Customer: “I don’t have my car anymore and you messed up my order. Tell your employees to open the door.” Manager: “I’m sorry, we can’t unlock the doors once we’re closed. That’s our policy. If you return in the morning, we’ll be glad to help.” Customer: “Don’t f*ck with me. I’ll call the cops on you! You can’t refuse service to me!” (Just then, a car pulls up behind him. The woman driving rolls down her window.) Woman: “Get in the f*cking car! Its not that big a deal.” Customer: “They won’t fix our order!” Woman: “Get in the f*cking car! This is f*cking embarrassing!” (The man gets in and the car pulls up to the window.) Woman: “I’m sorry. All that happened was you forgot to give us a burrito.” Manager: “We’ll get that for you right away.” (As soon as window is closed, the woman starts yelling at the man again.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 7:02 pm Post #20495 |
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Behind Every Husband Is A Brutally Honest Wife Restaurant | Louisville, KY, USA (I go to a table of four, a mom and dad and two kids who are ready to order.) Husband: “How big are your pizzas?” Me: “They are 10 inch pizzas, sir.” Husband: “Well how big is 10 inches? (And before I can answer, the wife chimes in.) Wife: “You wouldn’t know anything about 10 inches, dear.” (I stood there for a moment with my mouth open, before I ran to the wait station and started laughing hysterically.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 7:03 pm Post #20496 |
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‘Boiled Babies’ Tends To Screw Up Your Résumé Lifeguard | Merseyside, UK (My friend worked as a lifeguard in a swimming pool). Customer: “This pool is too cold, can’t you see my baby is going blue?!” Lifeguard: “I’ll check the temperature for you, but as all the other babies are fine it shouldn’t be too cold.” (He takes a temperature reading and it is nearly 35 degrees C/95 degrees F.) Customer: “Well, it’s still too cold.” Lifeguard: *gives up* “Very well, if you would like to boil a lobster that’s fine by me.” (Unfortunately, the customer had no sense of humor and shortly thereafter my lifeguard friend had no job.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 7:04 pm Post #20497 |
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Can You Say ‘Fire Sale’ Retail | Canada (We had been having some issues with are fire alarm system and it happened to go off the night I was working. We are all standing outside and there are 5 firetrucks and firemen running everywhere. A man walks up to the doors and walks in.) Me: “Sir, you can not go inside just yet…” Customer: “I just need one thing. I will be real quick, just come in and ring me up!” Me: “Sir, can you not see that we have a possible fire situation? We are not allowed into the building until the fire department clears us.” Customer: “It’s probably nothing. I will be real quick. Just let me get my stuff and I will be gone and you guys can continue.” Me: “Sir, that is not up to me to decide. We have to let the fire department finish what they are doing. It is for our safety.” Customer: *frustrated* “Fine! If you are not going to let me just grab a few things, I will take my business somewhere else!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 7:07 pm Post #20498 |
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Thick(headed) As Thieves Tech Support | Massachusetts, USA Me: “Hi, how can I help you?” Customer: “I’m trying to install your program but it keeps quitting during the set up.” Me: “Are you getting any error messages?” Customer: “No, it just quits and I have to restart the installation.” Me: “At what point does it quit?” Customer: “Well, it’s on the screen where is says registration code. I hit cancel and then it quits.” Me: “In order for the installation process to finish, you need to put in a registration code.” Customer: “Can you give me one?” Me: “For your program to work, you need to put in the code that comes with it.” Customer: “Well, how do I find that?” Me: “It would be on a slip of paper inside the box.” Customer: “What box?” Me: “The box that the CD came in.” Customer: “I didn’t get a box. Could you just give me a code?” Me: “When you bought the program it came in a box, did you lose the box?” Customer: “Oh, I didn’t buy it, I got it from a friend. But I don’t think she bought it either. The CD looks like it was homemade.” Me: “… homemade?” Customer: “Yeah, the top of the CD has handwriting on it. It’s just like the music CDs she gives to me.” Me: “I’m going to have to assume that the person who gave you this CD downloaded the program illegally. I can not provide you with a code to activate the software without a proper purchase.” Customer: “So now I can’t use it?” Me: “Not without purchasing it.” Customer: “But I don’t want to pay for it, I just want to use it!” Me: “I’m sorry, but it just won’t work that way.” Customer: “Well, what good are you, you lousy b**ch?!” *click* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 7:08 pm Post #20499 |
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Bull In A China Shop Video Game Store | Dubai, UAE (Back story: our local government has banned Grand Theft Auto 4, but this was never publicly announced. I put up a sign that said in big letters “GTA IV IS BANNED AND IS NOT AVAILABLE FOR SALE”.) Me: “Good evening, how can I help you?” Customer: “I wanna buy Grand Theft Auto 4.” Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that game is unavailable as it is banned in Dubai.” Customer: “So… how much?” Me: “It’s banned. You can’t buy it in the country.” Customer: “Ahh, wait, I see the sign. Sorry, I didn’t notice it before…” (He spends several minutes studying the sign intently.) Customer: “Can you reserve a copy for me or what?” Me: “Sir, you cannot buy it. If I even had a copy and sold it to you, it would be illegal… do you understand?” Customer: “So, I can’t buy it?” Me: “That’s correct.” Customer: “Well, I think you’re keeping it for yourself!” Another Customer: “Hey why don’t you just leave? The guy said you can’t buy one and the huge sign explains why you can’t.” Customer: “Look f**ker! I just want the game so give it to me before I seriously hurt you!” Me: “Just piss off, alright? I don’t have it and I wouldn’t sell it to a prick like you anyway. Now get out of my shop!” (The other customers in line applaud and cheer.) Customer: “Well gee, sorry… you don’t have to be so rude!” *walks out* (My blood pressure is just returning to normal when the original customer suddenly runs in COMPLETELY NAKED. Before we can react he grabs a Guitar Hero 3 guitar that is on display and proceeds to HIT ME ON THE HEAD WITH IT. My customers in line jump him and we eventually subdue him. We call the police and he was never seen again. I lost 1000 dollars worth (about 3000 dirhams, our local currency) in broken merchandise.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 7:10 pm Post #20500 |
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Yes But No But Yes restaurant | St. Louis, MO, USA (A customer calls back to complain about an order of pizza that I, the manager, had made and she had just received.) Me: “Hi ma’am, how can I help you today?” Customer: “I am legally blind and my mother is looking at my pizza and saying the pepperoni, sausage and green pepper pizza is missing the sausage.” Me: “So your pizza is missing the sausage?” Customer: “Mom, it’s missing sausage right?” Mother: “Well… no. It has plenty of sausage on it… but there is a slice with just pepperoni!” Customer: “My mom says it has plenty of sausage on it, but there is a slice with just pepperoni.” Me: “So a slice has nothing but pepperoni on it?” Customer: “Mom, a slice only has pepperoni, right?” Mother: “Well… no, it is evenly spread out… but there are mushrooms on this pizza!” Customer: “My mom says it is evenly spread out, but there are mushrooms on this pizza.” Me: “So there are mushrooms on the pizza?” Customer: “Mom, there are mushrooms on that pizza, right? Mother: “Well, no…” Customer: *to me* “I’m sorry to have taken up your time…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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