 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,008 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:10 pm Post #20341 |
 
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And Everyone Sounds F#cking Retarded When They're Overheard. Hipster boy, texting: So is it "in-" or "impregnate"? Hipster girl: I'm pretty sure it's "impregnate." Hipster boy: Impregnate? Like an imp? Hipster girl: Everyone hearing you thinks you're f#cking retarded. Hipster boy: Well, at least I'm not an imp. --PATH Train |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:10 pm Post #20342 |
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If Gay Muppets Filmed A Nightmare on Elmo Street Gay guy: I don't know why, they just scare me for some reason. Lesbian: You're scared of dildos? Gay guy: Yeah! They're just...always hard. And that scares me. Lesbian: They're gonna get you. They're gonna come in the night while you sleep. --NYU Student Lounge |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:11 pm Post #20343 |
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Why the Economy's in the Shitter: Explained. Wall Street suit #1: Dude, in this economy it's our duty to be good advisors to our clients. Wall Street suit #2, chuckling: Dude, you just said "doodie." --Nassau & Liberty Overheard by: Megz |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:11 pm Post #20344 |
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It's Not Just Trees That Have Trouble Growing in Brooklyn Mother to toddler: Do I love you a lot or a little? Toddler: A little? Mother: No, a lot! It's your shithead father that only loves you a little! --Jay St, Brooklyn Overheard by: Margaret |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:11 pm Post #20345 |
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Instead Of Feces? Things Are Looking Up! Hungover girl #1: I should go to the gym so I can feel better about myself. Hungover girl #2: Don't feel bad about yourself, you just got laid! Hungover girl #1: Yeah, but I woke up in pee. --Greenpoint |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:11 pm Post #20346 |
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So I May Not Continue Dating Him Gangsta girl: I mean, he's just such a loser. Gangsta boy: Right, yeah. Gangsta girl: I mean, murder, doing drugs and selling them...that's just so stupid. --C Train |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:12 pm Post #20347 |
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You're a D at Best, Sir. Young woman on platform: Hey, where's the A train? Guy, pointing at himself with both hands: Right here, baby! --Penn Station Overheard by: Alan Q Smithee |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:12 pm Post #20348 |
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Especially After You Have the Audacity to Thank Me! Urbanized pothead: Lemme get a pack of them Newports. Clerk: Thank you sir, have a nice day. Urbanized pothead: Nigg@, don't tell me what to do! --125th St & Broadway |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:12 pm Post #20349 |
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Good Times, My Friend. Good Times. Fat black girl #1: Remember that time he didn't come out because he said he had diarrhea? Fat black girl #2: Yeah, and then we went over to his house, and he didn't even have diarrhea! --14th & 2nd |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:13 pm Post #20350 |
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I Think I Saw This Lifetime Movie Guy: Dude, you're pregnant. Girl: I know...sucks, right? --Greenwich Village |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:13 pm Post #20351 |
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I Don't Follow... Student giving presentation: The angel statue on his grave actually had male genitalia on it, but the cemetery keepers broke it off and used it as a paperweight. Dumb student: Where on the statue was the genitalia? Student giving presentation, after long pause: In the same place as male genitalia on a body? --Classroom, NYU Overheard by: You've got to be kidding me |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:14 pm Post #20352 |
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How Pajama Bottoms Became Popular As Pants: Explained. 20-something guy: We do need to get jobs, but it's so hard to get ready in the morning! 20-something lesbian friend: What could you possibly have to do in the morning to get ready? You're a bro! 20-something guy: I always have to set my alarm three hours before I actually have to go. 20-something lesbian friend: You *can't* be serious. It takes you three hours to get ready for, like, class? 20-something guy, totally serious: No, it takes me three hours to get out of bed. After that I just walk out the door. --Fordham Road, The Bronx |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:14 pm Post #20353 |
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You Know You've Hit Rock Bottom When You're Not Classy Enough for the Penn Station Starbucks Hobo: Do you have a small sample? Barista #1: We're not giving out any samples. Hobo: Do you have a cup? (barista hands him a cup, hobo starts to walk to back of store) Barista #2: Sir, where are you going? Hobo: To the bathroom. Barista #2: We don't have a bathroom. Hobo: Can I have some water? Barista #2: No! And do not come back here! Have a nice day! --Starbucks, Penn Station Overheard by: BK |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:14 pm Post #20354 |
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HIV Serious? Sloppy drunk girl to random girl passing by: F#ck as many guys as you possibly can. Random girl: Umm... (sloppy girl's drunk friends nod their heads) Sloppy drunk girl: I'm serious. --Fordham University |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:15 pm Post #20355 |
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But She Was Fantasizing About Mr. Clean the Whole Time Girl: Well, she's newly single so... Guy with baby: So you know what she's looking for. Girl: Well, she already hooked up with a bartender in a broom closet. --6th Ave & 19th St Overheard by: Daniel |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:15 pm Post #20356 |
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I Could See the Tops Of Both Nipples Guy #1: This isn't that crowded. Guy #2: Yeah, the other day I was on a different train and we were packed in like sardines, this lady had her boobs in my face. Guy #1: Oh, that's nice. Guy #2: And the best part is her shirt said "stop staring, bitch!" --7 Train Overheard by: Beck |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:16 pm Post #20357 |
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And I Assume He Did, Too. Girl: But, I mean, I just believe that Jesus is our savior! I don't see how you can totally discount that... Guy: F#ck that, man, I like premarital sex. --Bobst Library, NYU |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:16 pm Post #20358 |
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But Then Won't You Have to Entertain Me? Very young misbehaving child: But mommy! I really want it! Annoyed mother: If you don't behave, I'm going to delete all the music off your iPod! --H&M 35th & 7th Overheard by: Marissa Pelly |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:21 pm Post #20359 |
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Where the Cons Are Doms Guy #1, at bar: What? Guy #2: Yeah. Guy #3: Really? Guy #2: Yeah. I don't use condoms. My religion doesn't allow it. Guy #3: You'll do just fine in prison. --Dojo's Restaurant, 14th St Headline by: Incognito |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:21 pm Post #20360 |
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If Only We Could Do This with All Of Manhattan Conductor on crowded rush hour train: The next stop is Delancy Street, and I order at least half of you to get off this train at that station. (train arrives at station) Conductor: Get out! (train is leaving station) Conductor: This is a not-so-crowded f train to Brooklyn. Stand clear of the closing doors. --F Train Overheard by: Miri |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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