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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,009 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:59 pm Post #20321 |
 
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And So It Begins Boy being changed on changing table (babbling): Bama amma bama. Mother: Obama Obama Obama. --Restroom, Royal Palm Beach, Florida Overheard by: Penelope |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:00 pm Post #20322 |
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fromoverheardintheoffice.com 5PM It's What All the Olympic Athletes Are Doing These Days Male employee #1, at lunch, peeling a banana: So, I'm doing a detox diet, where I eat only fruit for two weeks, and a bit of meat is introduced during the third. It's rough, but I'm actually starting to feel more sprightly. Male employee #2: I say...it really works? I should try it. I'm knackered, and I'm getting a paunch. I'd like to detox that baby from my midriff. (thin, lovely, female coworker, clutching mug of coffee, enters lunchroom) Male employee #2: Sophie, what do you do to keep fit? Do you eat fruit at breakfast, perhaps? Sophie, taking sip of coffee: I believe for breakfast I had beer and chocolate biscuits. High Holborn London England Overheard by: Mr Tickle |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:01 pm Post #20323 |
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4PM Not All In Living Color's Fly Girls Made It Big Waitress: I wonder if I shake my cup around hard enough... Wait a minute, I don't know if flies ejaculate. Searcy, Arkansas |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:01 pm Post #20324 |
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3PM Who Didn't Play That Game in High School? Manager, about getting her nails done: I wanna get just the tip red, I see lots of girls with the tip. Annoying coworker: Just the tip? Coworker: Wanna play a game called "just the tip"? Just for a second, to see how it feels. Manhattan, New York Overheard by: Can we go crash a wedding now? |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:02 pm Post #20325 |
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2PM How Many Guests on The O'Reilly Factor Feel Female coworker on phone with manager: Yes, I know it's an impossible request. (pause) I don't know, either he thinks he's freakin' Jesus or he thinks I am. Either way, I'm about to get a cheap, perverse thrill out of crushing his entire belief system. Chelmsford, Massachusetts Overheard by: I think I'm Santa |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:03 pm Post #20326 |
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1PM For a Moment I Thought We Finally Had Something in Common Man, discussing his morning routine with dogs: I'm up early. I walk them, brush them out, wash their balls, and oh boy, that gets them excited, and then we get in some good play time! Cubicle mate: Ummm, balls? Man: Balls, the bouncy kind...they're female. Cubicle mate: That's disappointing. Minneapolis, Minnesota Overheard by: Chai Tea |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:03 pm Post #20327 |
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12PM That Hot Chick in Human Resources! Boss: Does anyone have a stapler? Peon: No, but we have hope! Chicago, Illinois |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:04 pm Post #20328 |
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11AM For Instance, Amy Was the Sluttiest Of the Little Women. Coworker #1: What else would you have been called? Coworker #2: I was supposed to be Amy if I was a girl. Coworker #1: Really? Coworker #2: Yeah. I would've been a real little slut too. Sydney Australia Overheard by: ttg |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:04 pm Post #20329 |
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10AM And There Are Too Many Holes Involved. Male coworker to female coworker: Hey, do you ever play golf? Female coworker: No, I don't play with balls that small. (male coworker chokes on drink) Bellevue, Nebraska |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:05 pm Post #20330 |
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9AM Kinda Fun Watching Her Squirm, Though 10-year-old boy to 10-year-old friend: It's happening again. 10-year-old friend: What? You mean, "it?" 10-year-old boy: Yeah, darn it, I can't help it. 10-year-old friend: I think you should tell your mom about it. 10-year-old boy: No, she doesn't have a penis, she wont know what I'm talking about. Sprint Store Gilbert, Arizona |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:05 pm Post #20331 |
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5PM A New PC Makes Giddy Teenagers Of Us All CEO receptionist: Oh, look! The IT fairy is here with a new PC! IT guy, carrying computer: Um...? CEO receptionist: Oh! I meant it like "tooth fairy," not the...you know, gay kind. IT guy: Where do you want me to stick it? CEO receptionist You can put it in the back, the boss is busy right now. Hospital Wisconsin |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:05 pm Post #20332 |
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4PM The Remake Of Hamlet Left a Lot to Be Desired (cute FedEx guy with hat on leaves office after dropping package off) Female agent: Firecrotch or no firecrotch? I couldn't really tell. Aspen, Colorado |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:06 pm Post #20333 |
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3PM You Can't Do That! Customer on phone, about catalog CD: I will just shove it in real fast. Baltimore, Maryland Overheard by: That's What She Said |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:06 pm Post #20334 |
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2PM Like That Colored Dye That Appears When You Pee in a Swimming Pool IT worker: I stated that. We cannot make this idiot-proof, but we can identify them. Scottsburg, Indiana Overheard by: Larry G. Case |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:07 pm Post #20335 |
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1PM I Did Watch Every Season Of Veronica's Closet, If That's What You Mean Straight cube-dweller, about hole punch: Well, it shouldn't go there. It should be out in the open on the desk where I can see it. Gay cube-dweller: What, you couldn't see it sitting there? Straight cube-dweller: Well, it lives on my desk, not in the closet. Gay cube-dweller: It's a shelf above your desk, not a closet. Straight cube-dweller: Well, you would know more about closets than shelves, wouldn't you? West Lafayette, Indiana |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:07 pm Post #20336 |
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12PM Another Victim Of a Misleading Midas Muffler Promotion Cube dweller: Just like men can get breast cancer, women can get prostate cancer. My gynecologist screens all his patients for it. North Carolina Overheard by: Not too worried about it |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:07 pm Post #20337 |
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11AM It Sounds Like a James Bond Temptress Office supervisor: Could you please send our new price list to our office in Kuala Lumpur? Receptionist: Is Kuala Lumpur a real place? Office supervisor: Oh my god! (laughs, then leaves) Receptionist, to other office colleagues: Why did he laugh at me? Colleagues: You have got to be kidding! Belmont Western Australia Australia |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:08 pm Post #20338 |
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10AM Cat People: 1 Dog People: 0 Woman #1, in line to get coffee: Do you smell dog? I smell dog. Like, a wet dog or something. Woman #2: Oh, it's probably my pants. My dog slept on them last night and I didn't have a clean pair, so I wore them. Woman #1: Yeah. It looks like you have some dog hair on them too. Woman #2: It will probably just brush off by the end of the day. (walks away nonchalantly with coffee in hand) Downtown Omaha, Nebraska |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:08 pm Post #20339 |
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9AM Why Did We Come to This Godless Country, Jimmy? Irish construction worker #1, exiting job site: You know what's wrong with this job? Irish construction worker #2, behind him: What? Irish construction worker #1: We're workin' on an Irish bar, and there's no bloody beer! Irish construction worker #2: Sure there is! There's Guinness! Both, in chorus: In cans! (they spit on the ground) Haigh Street San Francisco, California |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 3:09 pm Post #20340 |
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from overheardinnewyork.com At Which Point He Recommended Botox 36-year-old bald clubster: There's no way you're 36. I'm 36, and there's just no way. 36-year-old woman: No! Really, I am. 36-year-old bald clubster: What did you do--make a deal with the devil? 36-year-old woman: We've talked. --Union Square Overheard by: birdie |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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