 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,012 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:25 pm Post #20261 |
 
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Must Have Been A Part-Time Thief Restaurant | Vancouver, BC, Canada (A lady comes in and I hurriedly wiped the table. She eats, finishes, and was about to leave.) Customer: “Have you seen my car keys? You must have swept it off the table when you were cleaning it when I just got here. Go check the garbage.” (I go check the bus pans.) Me: “No, they aren’t in the bus pans. Would they be in your purse?” Customer: “No, you must have them. Let me go check your garbage.” Me: “No, we can’t allow you to go through our garbage. The back of house is out of bounds.” Customer: “Well, someone must have taken my keys. Go check the garbage again.” (At this point, a coworker goes out to the parking lot and notices her keys still in the lock of her car door.) Coworker: “Are these your keys?” Customer: “Where did you find them?” Coworker: “They were on your door…” Customer: “Obviously, someone stole them from me and put them out there. My car could be been stolen!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:26 pm Post #20262 |
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One Plate Of Hot Air, Coming Right Up Restaurant | Lexington, KY, USA Customer: “I’d like the tofu & veggie dish, but I want that with no tofu.” Me: “Sure! We could add in chicken, or beef, or–” Customer: “No, I don’t want that. I just don’t like tofu.” Me: “I understand that. I don’t really care for it, myself.” Customer: “It’s not even a veggie…Oh, and can I have no veggies in that?” Me: “…What?” Customer: “I don’t want any veggies in that, either.” Me: “So…you want the tofu & veggie dish with no tofu, no meat, and no veggies?” Customer: “Yes!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:26 pm Post #20263 |
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Elemental State Of Confusion Restaurant | California, USA (I had just brought a table their glasses of water before coming back to take their orders.) Customer: “There’s something in my water! I demand a new one right away!” (She holds up an ice cube in her hand to show me.) Me: “Oh OK, I’ll bring you one without ice.” Customer: “Without what?” Me: “Ice.” Customer: “Ice? Huh?” Me: “Um…ice cubes.” (She looks at me blankly.) Me: “The little cubes of frozen water…” Customer: “FROZEN WATER! That’s crazy…why is it in my glass?” Me: “To keep your water cold.” Customer: “Well, if I wanted that I would’ve ordered an iced water! Haven’t you ever been to Starbucks? That’s the way a REAL restaurant does it.” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:27 pm Post #20264 |
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The Secret Lives Of Customers Electronics Store | California, USA (I am helping a customer upgrade his cell phone, which was broken for some reason. I open the phone and set it on the counter.) Customer: “Gosh, I don’t know why it doesn’t–hey! It looks wet in there!” Me: “Oh? Well, it does, but the indicator says it’s not water, or at least it didn’t do any damage to the hardware.” (The customer picks up his phone, sniffs at it, touches the liquid and TASTES it.) Customer: “Oh! OH! The butter!” Me: “…sir…can I ask…how did you–” Customer: “You know, I’d rather not explain that one.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:28 pm Post #20265 |
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A Sleepwalk To Remember Grocery Store | Nova Scotia, Canada (I work in customer service, where tobacco products and lottery tickets are purchased.) Me: “Do you need any cigarettes or lotto with that today, ma’am?” Customer: “Excuse me?!” Me: “Do you need any cigarettes or lotto today?” Customer: “What do you mean by that?” Me: “…do you need to purchase any cigarettes or lotto today?” Customer: “But, what do you mean by that?” Me: “I mean…do you want to buy cigarettes or lotto today?” Customer: *blank stare* “What?” Me: “Do you know what cigarettes and lotto are?” Customer: *shakes head* “Um…” *confused look* (I explain to her what cigarettes and lotto are, then I ring the lady’s purchase in and put it in a bag. She punches in her number for her debit card but stops halfway through and looks at me.) Customer: “Aw crap, I forgot to buy my cigarettes.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:28 pm Post #20266 |
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Every Valet’s Dream Come True Restaurant | Lake Tahoe, CA/NV, USA (A man pulls into the parking lot with a beautiful 1972 Rolls Royce. As a general rule, when someone comes in with a car that nice I just let them park it themselves right up front. This conversation takes place as he is leaving the restaurant.) Customer: “I need you to pull my car around for me.” Me: “I never took the keys from you.” Customer: “The keys are in the ignition. Please go get my car.” Me: “Well, if you insist…” (I pull the car around VERY carefully.) Customer: “That was completely unacceptable. I want you to drive around again, only this time when you start off, do a burnout!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:29 pm Post #20267 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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 = ebil
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:29 pm Post #20268 |
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Coworkers Uber Alles Supermarket | Huntingdon, UK (A young teenage girl comes up to my till and places several bottles of alcopops on it.) Me: “I’m sorry miss, but as you don’t look over 21 I am afraid I am going to have to ask to see some ID for these.” Girl: “What? I’m old enough. Obviously. Like, I never get asked for ID.” Me: “Well I’m afraid I still need ID.” Girl: “Why you being rude? I told you I am old enough.” (This continues for about 25 minutes until I get fed up.) Me: “Look, you obviously don’t have any ID so I am not going to serve you. If you want to complain you can go to customer services.” Girl: “Fine!” (Ten minutes later, my supervisor comes over.) Supervisor: “I just heard you got a complaint. I must say that I am very disappointed.” Me: “I’m sorry. I just lost it, I guess.” Supervisor: *laughs* “Oh, no. That’s fine. Just that we all had a bet on how long you would last. If only you would have lasted a little longer.” (A little while after this, the girl returns. She’s led by a much older man who I guess is her father. He places on my till the exact same items his daughter had.) Man: “Right. I want these and before you ask, here is my ID.” (He pulls out his driver’s license and waves it in my face, smirking to his daughter. He obviously thinks he is being really clever.) Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t sell you these.” Man: “Why the h*** not?! I’m plenty old enough!” Me: “Yes, sir. But it is also quite obvious that you are buying them for this girl, which means I can’t sell them to you.” Man: “I want to speak with your supervisor.” (I call my supervisor over and explain the situation. The man jumps in before she can respond.) Man, to supervisor: “So, what you gonna do? You gonna sell me these d*** drinks and fire that little s***?!” Supervisor: *calmly* “I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I will give you thirty seconds to get out or I will call the police. Buying alcohol for a minor is a criminal offense.” (Needless to say he left in a hurry, muttering furiously to his daughter. Sometimes, with the worst customers, you find the best coworkers.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:30 pm Post #20269 |
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The Flesh Is Bright But The Mind Is Dimming Hospital | Mississippi, USA Me: “Okay, sir, just a few x-rays and we’ll be done.” Patient: “Please make it quick. I don’t want to glow when I leave!” Me: “No, sir, I promise you won’t glow. That’s just an x-ray joke.” Patient: “It’s dark out! I can’t glow or I’ll be seen!” Me: “Sir, I swear you will not glow.” Patient: “NO GLOOOWWWIINNG!” Me: *gives up* “…The glow afterward is so faint, no one will ever see it.” Patient: “Oh…okay, then. Proceed…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:31 pm Post #20270 |
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Telepathic Temper Tantrum Customer Service | New Jersey, USA Caller: *on the phone* “HELLO?” Me: “Hello, ma’am! What can I help you with?” (There is a long silence) Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear that. Would you please repeat what you just said?” Caller: “HELLO?” Me: “…hello, ma’am. What can I help you with?” (Another long silence.) Caller: “WELL?” Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I didn’t hear you again.” Caller: “That’s because I’m not speaking.” Me: “…” Caller: “I’m thinking my question. WHY AREN’T YOU HELPING ME?” Me: “Ma’am, you need to speak out loud in order for me to help you.” Caller: “You mean with technology these days you can’t tell what I’m thinking?!” Me: “No, ma’am, I’m afraid I can’t.” Caller: “YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO TELL WHAT I’M THINKING!” Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. If you’d like me to help you, you’ll just have to speak it out loud.” (Another minute of silence.) Caller: “I JUST MENTALLY CURSED YOU! BUT YOU WOULDN’T KNOW THAT, WOULD YOU?!” *hangs up* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:31 pm Post #20271 |
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Mixing In Danger Costs Extra Ice Cream Shop | Vancouver, BC, Canada Customer: “Hi, I’d like vanilla ice cream with peanut butter cups mixed in, please.” Me: “OK, is that all for you?” Customer: “Yes, and just so you know, I’m allergic to peanuts. Can you make sure it’s nut-free?” Me: “Uh…you just ordered PEANUT butter cups for your ice cream… Customer: “I thought you guys could do allergy safe ice cream. The sign says you can make sure my food is allergy safe!” Me: “Well, yes…but you need to order food without peanuts in it first…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:33 pm Post #20272 |
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Working Smarter, Not Harder Bookstore | Fairbanks, AK, USA (I am a girl working the customer service counter. A male customer comes up with eerily direct eye contact.) Me: “Hello, how can I help you?” Customer: “I would like books on seduction.” Me: “All right. If you follow me, I’ll show you to our relationship section.” (I walk him over to the section.) Customer: “I want books on seduction.” Me: “Well, here is ‘relationships’ and on the other side of the aisle are the more intimate books. So between those I believe you can find what you’re looking for.” Customer: “All right, I’ll look at these.” (I return to the customer service desk. The customer returns a few minutes later.) Me: “Anything else I can help you with?” Customer: “Do you have any books on hypnosis?” Me: “…” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:34 pm Post #20273 |
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from overheardeverywhere.com She Won't Even Buy "Fancy" Ketchup Girl, looking at a bag of chips: How about these? Friend checking for price: They're three dollars. Girl, putting back the bag of chips: Dayuuummm! We don't need anything that fancy! Grocery Store Michigan Overheard by: just buying some salsa. |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:35 pm Post #20274 |
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Reader Poll: Is This Gross? Woman to husband: Honey, can you go to the bathroom so the seat is warm when I use it? Tucson, Arizona |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:35 pm Post #20275 |
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But It's All About Confidence and Proper Use Of the Tongue Gender studies professor: Some people are better at oral than others... College Los Angeles, California |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:35 pm Post #20276 |
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Howard Stern Had One Custom-Installed. Server: We need a button on the computer for this... Boss man: For what? Server: Balls on your face. Midlothian, Virginia Overheard by: bec-uhh |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:35 pm Post #20277 |
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Good Luck with That. Girl #1: You can't save every animal in the world. Girl #2: You don't think you could save every animal in the world? We could go to the rain forest! Girl #3: I want to go to the rain forest and save the monkeys and Chihuahuas! Merced, California |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:38 pm Post #20278 |
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We Predict the Expression "Fantasy Bar" Will Soon Sweep the Nation Teen girl eating Fantasy Bar brownie: You want some of my Fantasy Bar? Male friend, suddenly paying attention: What? Heck yes, it's about time! Union Station Washington, DC |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:38 pm Post #20279 |
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This One Used to Be Magic, Until the Bookie Broke It Dad balancing bird toy on middle finger, to seven-year-old son: This is dad's magic finger. He uses it when driving. |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Tue Jun 9, 2009 2:39 pm Post #20280 |
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Pretend He's Speaking German, If You Want to Be Able to Sleep at Night. Little boy, in sing-song chant, marching around outdoor cafe: Die die, die die, die die, die die! Santa Monica, California |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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