 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,024 Views) | |
| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 6:47 pm Post #20021 |
 
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Driving While Supplemented Police | Australia (While interviewing a man I had just stopped for drunk driving one night…) Me: “How much did you have to drink?” Him: “A bottle of wine and a scotch in four hours. I thought I was okay to drive.” Me: “Are you taking any medication?” Him: “Well, I just started taking those fish oil capsules.” Me: “The Omega 3 ones?” Him: “Yes, those ones.” Me: “Those are supposed to make you smarter.” Him: “Yes, they are.” Me: “Well, I’m sure you can get your money back for them, then.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 6:47 pm Post #20022 |
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Hopefully, He Doesn’t Look As Stupid As He Sounds Retail | Bakersfield, CA, USA Me: “Hi, how can I help you sir?” Customer: “Do you guys sell pallets?” Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t.” Customer: “… but there’s a whole bunch behind your store just sitting there.” Me: “Yes, but we reuse those. We don’t sell them.” Customer: “Well, is it illegal if I steal one of them?” Me: “Repeat what you just said to yourself.” Customer: *thinks for a second* “Oh.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 6:48 pm Post #20023 |
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It (Almost) Never Hurts To Check Sporting Goods Store | Baltimore, MD, USA Customer: “Let me see that knife in the case.” Me: “Here ya go.” Customer: “I don’t think this knife is sharp enough.” Me: “Really? ” (The customer pulls the blade across his palm, slicing his hand open and spilling blood all over the floor.) Customer: “I guess it is.” Me: “Would you like some paper towels?” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 6:49 pm Post #20024 |
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The Joy Of Sex(ism), Part 3 Tech Support | Jackson, MS, USA (I’m a male to female transsexual working in a call center. My name is an androgynous name, so I still use the male name when greeting customers for legal reasons.) Me: “Thank you for calling tech support, K***y speaking. How can I help you today?” Sexist Caller: “You can’t help me. Get me someone who can.” Me: “I’m sure I can assist you sir, what is the problem today?” Sexist Caller: “I ain’t talking to you!” Me: “What’s the problem?” Sexist Caller: “I ain’t talking to no girl.” (This caused me to both be glad that my voice passes for female on the phone, but really pissed me off cause of how horrible it was…but I would have my revenge…) Me: “I’m terribly sorry to hear that sir, are you sure?” Sexist Caller: “Get me a man, God d**n it!* Me: “Okay sir, let me see what I can do. Please hold.” (I proceed to put him on hold. I then spend the next few minutes eating a snack, reading some web comics, etc. I then clear my throat, and hit the button to take him off hold.) Me: *with my old male voice this time* “Thank you for calling technical support, this is K***y speaking, how can I help you?” Sexist Caller: “Oh thank god, I though I was gonna be stuck with that b**ch.” Me: “Understandable sir, she’s not that good a technician.” Sexist Caller: “You guys got the same name, you related or something?” Me: “No way, thank God… ” (I proceeded to reinstall his operating system from where he had totally screwed it up. I got written up for this, all while the manager was laughing and apologizing that he had to do it.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 6:49 pm Post #20025 |
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The Joy Of Sex(ism), Part 2 Video Game Store | Akron, OH, USA (I’m a girl, and I work in a video game store.) Dude: “Are you guys hiring?” Me: “No, we just let some people go actually.” Dude: “Oh, I assumed they were desperate. I mean, they hired a girl.” Me: “I’ve worked here for 3 years.” Dude: “Oh, well can I ask the manager anyway?” Me: “Sure, he’s standing right over there.” *points to next register* Manager: “Don’t even ask. You just insulted my assistant manager.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 6:50 pm Post #20026 |
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The Joy Of Sex(ism) Computer Store | Reykjavik, Iceland (I’m a 28 year old female and work for a computer store. I’m alone in the store when a middle-aged man walks in.) Me: “Hi there, can I help you?” Customer: “Are there any computer guys around here?” Me: “Just me at the moment, anything I can help you with?” Customer: *tries to look behind me to the stock room and repair area* “Well, aren’t there any computer GUYS here?” Me: “No. Look, is there anything I can help you with?” Customer: “Well um…I need this fixed.” *holds a multimedia jukebox* Me: “Well, I work in repairs as well so just tell me what’s wrong with it and I’ll take a look at it for you.” Customer: “Listen, I just need to talk to a computer guy! I did everything right. I put the hard disk in but it still won’t work. Just get a guy to fix it!” Me: “Well, the most common mistake is when people forget to format the hard disk. I can have that fixed in 5 minutes.” Customer: “Yeah sure. Get one of the tech GUYS to do it and call me when it’s ready.” Me: “Sure, no problem.” (I went back and of course he hadn’t formatted the disk. I fix it and call the guy who shows up immediately.) Me: “Here you go. As I thought you had just forgotten to format the disk. I did that for you and it’s working fine now.” Customer: “No, that can’t have been the problem. I KNOW computers.” Me: “Well, this isn’t a computer, and it’s a common mistake to make when you put the hard disk in yourself. Anyway, I fixed it for you so everything should be fine now.” Customer: “Look, isn’t there a computer GUY I could talk to?” Me: *losing will to live and considering a sex change* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 6:51 pm Post #20027 |
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Send In The Clowns, Part 2 Telemarketing | Wisconsin, USA Me: “Hi! I’m calling today looking for sponsorships for less fortunate children to attend the annual circus.” Her: “Oh, that sounds wonderful.” Me: “Would you like to sponsor a child this year?” Her: “Will there be clowns?” Me: “Yes, I believe there will be a few clowns.” Her: “What kind?” Me: “I’m… sorry?” Her: “Are they the good ones?” Me: “They are professionals, so I believe they will be quite good.” Her: “Do children like them?” Me: “Yes…” Her: *in a hushed voice* “I carry a picture of that scary clown in my pocket. I don’t like scary clowns.” Me: “Scary clown?” Her: “… from the movie. I bought it so I could have a picture of the scary clown. I have nightmares about it.” Me: “Ummm… that’s horrible. I’m sorry for bringing up such an awful memory. I will just let you go then.” Her: “No, I want to help. Kids like that kind of thing. What do I have to do?” Me: “Well, we will send you a sponsorship packet in the mail. It will have an invoice. You just have to send in payment.” Her: “Will there be clowns?” Me: “At the circus?” Her: “No, I mean will you make sure that they don’t send any clowns in that paper?” Me: “Yes, I will make sure that you do not get sent any clowns…” (Ironically, I found out after hanging up that the sponsorship packet has a large picture of a clown on the envelope.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 6:52 pm Post #20028 |
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Send In The Clowns Children's Entertainer at a Theme Park | New York, USA (Almost thirty kids are lined up at the velcro wall waiting to ride. We have about five minutes until out troupe leaves.) Some Mother: “I want my son to ride this ride.” Me: “Ma’am I don’t think there’s enough time for all these kids to–” Some Mother: “I don’t care if he’s the last one. I want him to ride this ride.” Me: “This ride is going to shut down in about five minutes. There isn’t enough time for–” Some Mother: “He can be the last in line then.” Me: “He can wait in line but probably won’t be able to–” Some Mother: “Fine.” (Mother walks away and returns some time after the ride is shut down and all kids are turned away.) Some Mother: “Hey! HEY! I thought we agreed that my child would get on the ride.” Me: “That’s not what we agreed to.” Some Mother: “Well, put the ride back up so he can ride it.” Me: “I’m sorry but we can’t do all that for one child.” Some Mother: “Why not?! Your just being f**king stubborn.” Me: “If you have any complaints you can speak to the clown over there. Have a nice day.” Some Mother: “I don’t want to talk to any d**n clown.” Me: “That clown is my boss.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 6:52 pm Post #20029 |
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5 Minutes And 9 Months Supermarket | St. Louis, MO, USA (The couple walked up to my line and the guy put his stuff on the belt first. Then, the girl put up a divider and her stuff.) Guy: “Sweetie, let me pay for your stuff.” Girl: “FINE!” *storms off* Me: *thinking to self* “What the #@&% is going on?” (I look at what she is purchasing and realize that the only thing she’s buying is a home pregnancy test.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 10:22 pm Post #20030 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 10:22 pm Post #20031 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 10:23 pm Post #20032 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 10:24 pm Post #20033 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 10:24 pm Post #20034 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 10:25 pm Post #20035 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 10:26 pm Post #20036 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 10:27 pm Post #20037 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 10:27 pm Post #20038 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 10:28 pm Post #20039 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 10:29 pm Post #20040 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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