 Wanted: New forum members! Do you have the right stuff to be an arch-angel member? Must be:
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| Tweet Topic Started: Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:29 am (69,026 Views) | |
| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:28 pm Post #19981 |
Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:28 pm Post #19982 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:28 pm Post #19983 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:29 pm Post #19984 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:29 pm Post #19985 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| Gummy | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:29 pm Post #19986 |
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Me in 10 years^^^
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:31 pm Post #19987 |
 
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A Nasty Case Of Selective Hearingitis Call Center | Salt Lake City, UT, USA (I was working for the billing department for a big cable company. I speak English clearly, but it’s my second language.) Lady: “I just got my bill and it says I owe you $400 in adult films, but I haven’t watched them.” Me: ”I apologize for the inconvenience, but we got that information from your receiver. Do you think maybe somebody in your house might ordered them?” Lady: ”No, there’s only me and my nephew.” Me: ”How old is your nephew?” Lady: ”He’s 14 years old, but he would never do that! I need you to credit my account for the whole amount.” Me: ”Again, I apologize for the inconvenience but I won’t be able to do this at this time. I see we have credited your account twice in the last six months.” Lady: ”I need the credit NOW, you hear me!” Me: ”I understand your frustration, but as I told you before it’s impossible for me to do that at this moment.” Lady: “What? What did you say? I can’t understand you… you have a really thick accent!” Me: “I apologize, I said I won’t be able to credit your account at this time.” Lady: “What? You need to learn English before you get on the phones, I can’t understand a word you said!” Me: “Okay… so would you like me to credit your account for 600 dollars?” Lady: “Yes, that’s what I’m asking for! THANK YOU…” Me: ”Oh, so now you understand my English. Sorry, we cannot credit your account at this time.” Lady: ”Let me speak to a supervisor!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:32 pm Post #19988 |
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A Nasty Case Of Selective Illiteracyosis Call Center | Akron, OH, USA (Back story: We had a buy 2, get 1 free sale right after Christmas. The sign clearly said “lowest item free”.) Customer: “Hi, I’d like to buy these…” *shows me two $2.99 games for the Gamecube* “…and get this one free.” *shows me a used copy of Halo 3 for $54.99* Me: “I’d like a million dollars.” Customer: “I’m serious!” Me: “So am I, sir. I’m sorry, thats not how the buy 2 get 1 free works. You’d get one of the $2.99 games free.” Customer: “THAT’S NOT WHAT THE SIGN SAYS! IT SAYS BUY 2 GET 1 FREE!” (I take the sign off wall and reads it to customer.) Me: “Buy 2 games get one free on all used games. Please note that the lowest priced item will be free.” Customer: “That’s not what the sign says! I’m going to sue you for false advertising!” Me: “Sir, I don’t believe you can sue me because you can’t read.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:33 pm Post #19989 |
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Guess Whose Picture Is Next To “Pyrrhic” Gas Station | Little Neck, NY, USA (We sell milk for 2.99 a gallon. Some kid pulled the “.” and the “9″ off so it says 29 dollars. Not surprisingly, a lady comes in to buy a gallon and hands me thirty dollars.) Me: “Ma’am, you just gave me a twenty and 10 singles to buy milk. It’s only $2.99.” Lady: “Well that’s not what the sign says! it says 29 dollars!” Me: “But ma’am, you’re paying more money than it actually costs.” Lady: “I don’t care how much it costs! Just do your job and give me my f**king milk for 29 dollars!” Me: “Okay, If that’s what you want…” *gives her a dollar back* Lady: “Thank you! If you had just done your job I would’ve been out of here by now!” Me: “Have a great day!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:33 pm Post #19990 |
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I See Purple Triangles And Rainbows In Your Future Toy Store | California, USA (A boy and his mother come up to my register. The boy starts asking questions about the ant farm we have on display.) Boy: “Can they mate?” Me: “No, there’s no queen in there.” Boy: “Oh… so they can’t mate?” Me: “No, they’re all male.” Boy: “So they can’t?” Mother: *turns to boy* “Okay, shut up or go away! You’re being annoying!” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:34 pm Post #19991 |
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Bang Head Here Tech Support | London, UK Me: “Hello, technical support, how can I help?” Customer: “I don’t know what’s wrong with my computer. Can you tell me?” Me: “Well… can you explain what’s wrong?” Customer: “Your job is to tell me what’s wrong.” Me: “Yes, but unless you help me I can’t tell you what is wrong.” Customer: “Why? Can’t you guess what’s wrong?” (I have decided a this point whatever is wrong will be something stupid.) Me: “Okay, maybe you can’t turn your computer on because it hasn’t got any power.” Customer: *angrily* “DO YOU THINK I’M STUPID?” (Suddenly, the customer calms down.) Customer: “Sorry, you were wrong. It’s plugged in and the light is green. Can you guess what’s wrong? It’s still black on the screen.” Me: “Well, is your screen on?” Customer: “Yes, I just said it was. It’s just black!” Me: “Right click.” Customer: “Hey, it worked… oh, it was a screensaver. Couldn’t you have guessed it was that at the start?” Me: *thud thud thud* Customer: “What was that?” Me: “Guess.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:35 pm Post #19992 |
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A Little Thing Called Responsibility Palm Beach Gardens, FL, USA | Video Game Store (I walked into a game store and there was a violent car jacking on the local news where a poor couple had been killed. The only person behind the counter is a good friend of mine and an middle-aged woman walks in.) Woman: “I can’t believe today’s violence. I blame that, the violent media.” Me: “Yeah, people are a little crazy these days.” Woman: *to my friend* “Can I have that Call of Duty 4 there, please?” My Friend: “Um, who are you buying this for? It’s a little survey the store is doing…” Woman: “Oh, of course! It’s for my 13-year-old son. ” (As soon as she left, my friend and I busted out laughing.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:36 pm Post #19993 |
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More Frisky Than Frail Retail | Cincinnati, OH, USA (A man of at least 80 years of age came up to my checkout lane. Here’s what happened as I was bagging his last item.) Me: “Man, I just don’t think this is gonna fit in here.” Customer, completely straight-faced: “That’s what she said.” Me: “I’m sorry?” Customer, still straight-faced: “That’s what she said.” (Needless to say, I nearly died of laughter. If there were only more grandfathers like that out there.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:37 pm Post #19994 |
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Some Questions Should Never Be Asked, Part 2 Clothing Store | Riverhead, NY, USA (A customer approaches one of my cashiers holding two children’s t-shirts with identical logos one boys and one girls. We were having a liquidation sale and all boys’ clothing was 40% off while girls’ clothing was 50% off.) Customer: “What’s the discount on these?” Cashier: “One is 40% off and the other is 50% off.” Customer: “Why are they different?” Cashier: “One is girls and one is boys.” Customer: “I don’t understand… what’s the difference between girls and boys?” Cashier: *without even skipping a beat* “Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.” (Cue the entire checkout line laughing.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:37 pm Post #19995 |
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Some Questions Should Never Be Asked Costume Shop | Chico, CA, USA Me: “Costume Design & Rental, how can I help you?” Caller: “Hi, do you guys have any costumes?” Me: “Yes, we have a 5,000 square foot warehouse.” Caller: “And do you rent them?” Me: “Yes, we do.” Caller: “How much is it?” Me: “It depends on what kind of costume are you looking for.” Caller: “I don’t know… can’t you just tell me how much it is?” Me: “Not without knowing what you want, no.” Caller: “Fine, whatever.” *click* (10 minutes later, they call back.) Me: “Costume Design & Rental, how can I help you?” Caller: “Do you have any giant penis costumes?” Me: “… uh, no. I don’t think we do.” Caller: “Darn.” *click* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:38 pm Post #19996 |
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Because PvP In Produce Is Teh Suxxorz N00b Supermarket | Dayton, OH, USA (I worked in the meat department of a large, popular convenience store a few years ago. Alongside this, I was both in college, and played World of Warcraft, so I was pretty zonked whenever I worked.) Customer: “HEY!” Me: “Hello sir, how can I help you?” Customer: *scowls* “Where’s LARD?!” (The name for my character in WoW was Lard. The night before, I ended up having to kick a guildy due to him basically being a moron. After he was kicked, he messaged to me that he was ‘going to get me one day’) Customer: “… Lard?” Me: “Um… um!” Customer: *glares, then looks down* “Oh, here it is.” (He bends down and picks up a jar of lard from the counter infront of me and walks away, and I breathe a huge sigh of relief. I later found out that the same person deleted his character, rerolled the opposite faction, and leveled him to 70 in order to “Kill Lard and camp his corpse.” I consider that the moment that I won at WoW.) |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:39 pm Post #19997 |
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Ocean’s Negative Seven Casino | Bossier City, LA, USA (A woman walks up to my blackjack table, and sits down without putting any money up for her bet. I assume she’s waiting for the end of the shoe.) Woman: “How come I didn’t get a hand?” Me: “I’m sorry, you didn’t have your bet up when the cards came out. I’ll get you on the next.” (When I get ready to deal the next, I tap the bet box in front of her.) Me: “You comin’ in?” Woman: “Yes.” Me: “It’s a fifteen dollar table.” Woman: “What?” Me: “Table minimum is fifteen.” Woman: “I have to pay to play?” Me: “Well, if you win, I’ll give you fifteen more and you get to keep all of it.” Woman: “What happens if I don’t win?” Me: “At that point it becomes the casino’s money.” Woman: “That’s stealing!” Me: “No, that’s gambling.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:42 pm Post #19998 |
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I Personally Prefer Poultry With My PCs Retail | Champaign, IL, USA (I overheard a fellow salesperson’s sale. He was with a customer but another customer interrupts.) Customer: “I want to make you offer on this laptop. I give you $650.” Coworker: “Sorry, sir, the price is $749.” Customer: *looks at his wife and nods* “I give you $650 plus 3 chicken!” Coworker: *fighting back a smile* “Sorry, the price is $749.” |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:42 pm Post #19999 |
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When You’re A Brand W**re, Every Cent Counts Bookstore Coffee Shop | Long Island, NY, USA Me: “Okay, that’ll be $2.00.” Customer: *shocked* “What? The sign said $1.85! How can it be $2.00?” Me: “Yeah, $1.85 plus 15 cents for tax.” Customer: *sighs loudly and opens up her Chanel bag to take two dollars out of her Gucci wallet* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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| AWOLangel | Sat Jun 6, 2009 4:43 pm Post #20000 |
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Even Paranoid Racist Nutjobs Have Bad Days Cell Phone Customer Support | Lake Mary, FL, USA (Note: The cell phone provider I worked for does not have call centers outside of North America.They have some in Canada, but that is irrelevant to the following transaction.) Me: “Thank you for calling C*** Wireless. How can I help you?” Customer: “I want a credit to my account.” Me: “Well, I can certainly see what I can do for you sir. What seems to be the issue?” Customer: “Where am I calling currently?” Me: “Customer service, sir…?” Customer: “Where are you located?” Me: “Lake Mary, Florida.” Customer: “I want a credit because the last person I spoke to from your company was in India.” Me: “Sir, we don’t have call centers in India. All our call centers are in North America.” Customer: “Well, the person I just spoke with had a very heavy middle eastern accent and told me his name was Sam. Now I know he was lying to me, so I want a credit applied to my bill!” Me: “Sir, this is the United States of America. There are many people in this nation with varying accents. I cannot credit you for speaking to an American with an accent.” Customer: “I want to talk to your supervisor!” Me: “Sir, I would be more than happy to allow you to speak with my supervisor. His name is Muhammed Alam… we call him ‘Moe’ for short. ” Customer: *click* |
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All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln | |
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