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Cheap Laugh time
Topic Started: Sat Aug 26, 2006 6:20 pm (1,796 Views)
KronosS2
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Rachel
Oct 25 2006, 08:55 PM
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father,

"Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts.
In her twenties, women's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears,
still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases - each like a different
type of tree. In his twenties,he is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible
but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration!!!"

:liz: :liz: :liz: :liz: :liz: :liz: :liz: :liz:


thats really funny Rachel
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AWOLangel
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_lmao_ funny stuff
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln
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Jadzia20
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When I crack that whip, everybody goin' to trip like circus
Ok just saw this at UP and almost wet myself.

Quote:
 
br0kenrabbit says:
hi

Greg_ValveOLS says:
good evening

br0kenrabbit says:
What's ip?

br0kenrabbit says:
up?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
my name is greg a member of the valve online Support team

br0kenrabbit says:
On MSN?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
yes :)

br0kenrabbit says:
Why?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
we logged multiple ips from your account and ned to verifi your information

br0kenrabbit says:
My information?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
we believe someone may have stolen your account mmmm you havent shared youre account infomation with anyone have you?

br0kenrabbit says:
No. I don't even have it written down.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
hmmm maybe a keylogger on you r PC then maybe you need a format?

br0kenrabbit says:
Well...

Greg_ValveOLS says:
if you can verify your account information to me i can insure that only your ip have access to it Its a new security feature were trying because this happens so muchlogin names and passwords aint safe anymroe You know. L:)

br0kenrabbit says:
Well

Greg_ValveOLS says:
dont worry this connect it secure

br0kenrabbit says:
Can I be honest with you, Greg?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
k

br0kenrabbit says:
Look, I don't know how you go this MSN account name, don't really care, either.

br0kenrabbit says:
Unlike you, I DO work for Valve. Trace my ip and you'll see.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
huh?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
bs

br0kenrabbit says:
Trace it.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
how

br0kenrabbit says:
Start/run/cmd type Tracert and then my IP address and hit enter.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
oh k

br0kenrabbit says:
As an employee, I know that Valve employees will NEVER contact users over MSN. I also know a valve employee will NEVER ask a user for his/her username and password.

br0kenrabbit says:
I'm putting a temporary hold on your Steam account.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
why?

br0kenrabbit says:
Have you read the ToS?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
Tod?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
tos

br0kenrabbit says:
terms of service

Greg_ValveOLS says:
were?

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg, this is a serious infraction against the Tos. You are at risk of losing your account.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
why

br0kenrabbit says:
I just told you why

Greg_ValveOLS says:
:(

br0kenrabbit says:
I need some information from you if you want me to unlock you account. I'm going to write you up but I will only suspend you account for three days, since this is your first infraction, okay?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
k

br0kenrabbit says:
First, what is the name the account is registered to. Not the user name, the persons real name who created the account. This is for verification purposes.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxx xxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Is this you?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
Are you the only user of this account?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay, and what is the username

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay.

br0kenrabbit says:
I see you have purchased a few of our games, thank you. :)

Greg_ValveOLS says:
some. dude

Greg_ValveOLS says:
m

br0kenrabbit says:
Do you always log on from the same IP?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
And who is your internet providers, your ISP?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Thank you. One moment, please, let me verify this information.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
am i gonna be bale to play 2nite?

br0kenrabbit says:
What is your city of residence?

br0kenrabbit says:
That depends on if you cooperate. You're doing fine so far.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Illinios?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
yes

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay. And what is the password associated with this account?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay. Do not try to log into steam. If you are connected now you need to log off.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
why

br0kenrabbit says:
So I can update your account.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
can I play 2 nite

Greg_ValveOLS says:
clan fight

Greg_ValveOLS says:
wont win without me heh

br0kenrabbit says:
Heh. You'll have to wait a few minutes. Are you logged off?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay. Give me just a moment.

br0kenrabbit says:
Try to log in now.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
k

Greg_ValveOLS says:
It says login failed wtf wtf!!@?

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg

Greg_ValveOLS says:
did u ban me???????????>WHY

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg

Greg_ValveOLS says:
what

br0kenrabbit says:
Valve will never ask for your username and password.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
what????

br0kenrabbit says:
I don't work for Valve dude, but you just got pwnt.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
omg dude wtf why?

br0kenrabbit says:
Why were you trying to steal my account?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
i wanst

br0kenrabbit says:
Then why were you asking for my information?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
i was just making a joke but not cerious honest dude just give
my acount back pllllleeease i'm only 13 and save d up for like a year to buy it

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg

Greg_ValveOLS says:
dude pleas

Greg_ValveOLS says:
what

br0kenrabbit says:
Go mow some yards, bitch.


LOL
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Purplelizard2006
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It's Christmas!

Rachel
Oct 8 2006, 06:53 AM
Here's another one I got via email it says...

What a hot flash looks like :rachel:

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Rachel :duck:

:blink: :liz: :liz: Just hilarious! Sorry to laugh but I thought it was funny, the birds with boobies! :liz:
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Purplelizard2006
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It's Christmas!

Rachel
Oct 25 2006, 02:55 PM
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father,

"Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts.
In her twenties, women's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears,
still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases - each like a different
type of tree. In his twenties,he is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible
but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration!!!"

:liz: :liz:
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AWOLangel
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about jadzia's post;
never give out info
i guess this kid didn't know that
i wonder if he realy was 13?
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln
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Jadzia20
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When I crack that whip, everybody goin' to trip like circus
I never give out personal info over the net.
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Rachel
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TOS Girl: All the Way!

Smart girl, Jadzia :thumbsup:

Ok here's another wacky video I decided to host courtesy of my sister-in-law.

It's um... kinda yucky :barf:

Click here to watch Monkey-Business-75

Rachel :wub:
Rachel

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Rachel
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TOS Girl: All the Way!

Here's another one courtesy of my sister-in-law.

It's pretty darn cute... and funny!

Click here to watch WhoLetTheDogsOut

Rachel :wub:
Rachel

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FlyingPope
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Entrepeneur-in-Training
The dog video was waaaaaaaaaaaay too funny _lmao_
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FlyingPope
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Entrepeneur-in-Training
Rachel
Nov 6 2006, 12:12 PM
Smart girl, Jadzia :thumbsup:

Ok here's another wacky video I decided to host courtesy of my sister-in-law.

It's um... kinda yucky :barf:

Click here to watch Monkey-Business-75

Rachel :wub:

okay, as soon as they brought in the monkeys, I turned it off...didn't wanna know, blech :blink:
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Purplelizard2006
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It's Christmas!

Rachel
Nov 6 2006, 02:12 PM
Smart girl, Jadzia :thumbsup:

Ok here's another wacky video I decided to host courtesy of my sister-in-law.

It's um... kinda yucky :barf:

Click here to watch Monkey-Business-75

Rachel :wub:

:liz: :liz: I have been kissed by my own dog, when I was talking to her she got her tongue in my mouth. LOL!
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Purplelizard2006
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It's Christmas!

Rachel
Nov 6 2006, 02:20 PM
Here's another one courtesy of my sister-in-law.

It's pretty darn cute... and funny!

Click here to watch WhoLetTheDogsOut

Rachel :wub:

This one was playing but no pic image come up, hmmm..... :wissa: :confused:
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Rachel
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TOS Girl: All the Way!

That's wierd, Liz. It works for me. :whatthe:

It's just a standard video format that I initially got via email.

And Popers... I agree. I wish I hadn't seen the monkey video but the damage's been done now.

BTW, Tomorrow afternoon can you met us at Wissa's tomorrow.

Rachel :wub:
Rachel

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Purplelizard2006
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It's Christmas!

I think it seems familiar I may have seen it before from a friend in my email, Rachel.
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Rachel
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TOS Girl: All the Way!

Yes, Liz. These things seem to make the rounds.

Rachel :purpliz:

Rachel

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FlyingPope
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Entrepeneur-in-Training
Purplelizard2006
Nov 7 2006, 01:21 PM
Rachel
Nov 6 2006, 02:12 PM
Smart girl, Jadzia  :thumbsup:

Ok here's another wacky video I decided to host courtesy of my sister-in-law.

It's um... kinda yucky :barf:

Click here to watch Monkey-Business-75

Rachel  :wub:

:liz: :liz: I have been kissed by my own dog, when I was talking to her she got her tongue in my mouth. LOL!

WHAT?!?! Tongue IN your mouth??? What were you doing french-kissing your dog? :barf:
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Purplelizard2006
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It's Christmas!

:liz: I know you are teasing me FP!!! No I was not french kissin' my dog! She is a girl! I was just talking to her when she did that, I did not expect her to do it. It don't bother me that much as long she is still my dog! (at least part of it since she lives with my ex husband and not live with me anymore, but still she is my baby!)

You are so hilarious! :lol:
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FlyingPope
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Yeah, well...those "off the cuff" remarks don't happen to me very much. I musta been on a roll or something. I can see how "it" can happen, though, my dogs have done that to me once or twice. :lol:
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wissaboo
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Admin
Quote:
 
Mr and Mrs Smith are retired, Mrs Smith insists that he go with her to Wal-Mart.  He gets bored with all the shopping.  He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs Smith loves to browse.  Here's a letter sent to her from the store.

Dear Mrs Smith:

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store.  We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores.  We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.  All complaints against Mr Smith are listed below.

Things Mr Smith has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart.

1.  June 15:  Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2.  July 2:  Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3.  July 7:  Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4.  July 19:  Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares...and watched what happened.

5.  Aug 4:  Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6.  Sept 14:  Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7.  Sept 15:  Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8.  Sept 23:  When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9.  Oct 4:  Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10.  Nov 10:  While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.

11.  Dec 3:  Darted around the store, suspicious loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12.  Dec 6:  In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna Look" using different size funnels.

13.  Dec 18:  Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14.  Dec 21:  When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!!!!"

and last, but not least......

15.  Dec 23:  Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!!!"



Pope I don't know why you email me these things. Why don't you just post them?



Quote:
 
Darted around the store, suspicious loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme


:liz: :liz:

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