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Girly Stuff; You've been warned dudes!!
Tweet Topic Started: Wed May 31, 2006 10:29 am (637 Views)
Moon	Wed May 31, 2006 10:29 am Post #1
Posts: 8,682 Group: 5000 post Angel Member #5 Joined: November 17, 2005	Ok, this is a situation that is not earth shattering but I don't understand it really. I obviously have kids, as you've seen. My oldest is getting to that age where getting your first period is kinda the norm. [average for starting is 10 -12] What I'm absolutely stunned by is that people who aren't her friends, are neighbors and such, expect me to say if she's gotten her period or not. To me this isn't MY business to share, rather it's hers. If she wants to tell her best girlfriend that's her business, but it certainly isn't mine to share with the lady next door, her father, her grandmother and anybody who cares to listen. So what is about this "passage" into becoming a woman that makes everyone think it's "shareable" news? I mean, the first time my son leaves evidence of a wet dream behind, I'm certainly not going to be saying anything to anyone!! And I don't expect that the men ask the other guys "so has Timmy had his first wet dream yet". Ok, that's my rant/ramblings. :panic:



wissaboo	Wed May 31, 2006 10:51 am Post #2
Posts: 25,676 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: November 16, 2005	People are asking you that? Wow. Talk about personal questions. Are you telling them it is none of their business?



Moon	Wed May 31, 2006 11:00 am Post #3
Posts: 8,682 Group: 5000 post Angel Member #5 Joined: November 17, 2005	wissaboo May 31 2006, 12:51 PM People are asking you that? Wow. Talk about personal questions. Are you telling them it is none of their business? It's all in how it's delivered really. Like my neighbor, has a granddaughter the same age as my oldest. She was talking to me about what I'm going to do for "sitting' arrangments for my kids during the summer, and mentioned her granddaughters fight like mad. So I just said "Yeah, sometimes #1 has no patience with #3" {i did use their names in the conversation} And so she said to me "Well, C got her period about 4 months ago". And then she gave me a look as if to say, "well what about #1" First of all I was stunned she told me her grand daughter had her period, and there was NO WAY I was going to answer the question in such a way that she could draw a conclusion. So I said "well I'm not worried about that, rather I'd like #1 learn to handle the situation with more thought and less emotion from the gut." I know she wanted me to say more, but it wasn't going to happen. So it's all in how it's asked Wissa, and I've played it over and over in my head as to how to answer this without them thinking yes or no, because it's just not any of their business. To me, even saying "I prefer not to discuss my children's private lives" is even giving a yes answer.



wissaboo	Wed May 31, 2006 11:02 am Post #4
Posts: 25,676 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: November 16, 2005	I think it is hard for people to go from discussing their every bowel movement, as infants, to respecting their privacy. I know my mother had a lot of problems with that one. <_<



Moon	Wed May 31, 2006 11:04 am Post #5
Posts: 8,682 Group: 5000 post Angel Member #5 Joined: November 17, 2005	wissaboo May 31 2006, 01:02 PM I think it is hard for people to go from discussing their every bowel movement, as infants, to respecting their privacy. I know my mother had a lot of problems with that one. <_< Oh so did mine, believe me. She told everyone under the sun and had a "special" first period dinner for me. I was so humiliated. She even kept her own calendar to make sure all the girls in the house were "regular". That's why I'm not going to do that to my girls.



wissaboo	Wed May 31, 2006 11:10 am Post #6
Posts: 25,676 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: November 16, 2005	My mother always kept a pretty close eye on my cycle as well. But I always assumed it was so that she would be the first to know if I were pregnant.



Moon	Wed May 31, 2006 11:11 am Post #7
Posts: 8,682 Group: 5000 post Angel Member #5 Joined: November 17, 2005	wissaboo May 31 2006, 01:10 PM My mother always kept a pretty close eye on my cycle as well. But I always assumed it was so that she would be the first to know if I were pregnant. Well yeah!!! :idea: She was so obsessed about sex, that she wouldn't by me tampons because she thought I'd not be a virgin anymore. I also think she thought it was like a dildo and we'd get off on it, but that's another story



wissaboo	Wed May 31, 2006 11:13 am Post #8
Posts: 25,676 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: November 16, 2005	Fortunately my parents were really relaxed about sex.



Moon	Wed May 31, 2006 11:14 am Post #9
Posts: 8,682 Group: 5000 post Angel Member #5 Joined: November 17, 2005	Oh my poor father, my mother only thought sluts took showers with men. Can you just imagine her reaction when she came across my sister and her husband skinny dipping together????!!!!!!!! I never saw her so flustered [my mom] in my entire life!!!



Jadzia20	Wed May 31, 2006 11:16 am Post #10
When I crack that whip, everybody goin' to trip like circus Posts: 14,514 Group: 10,000 post spammer Member #23 Joined: January 1, 2006	My mum was never asked that about me, but she did tell all and sundry about it because she wasnt there for me when i started (i was visiting my grandmother) I think its just something that many are concerning themsleves about for some a girl starting her period is showing there ready for sex, sex leading to pregnancy at a early age. But your right its up to your daughter to tell others when she starts.



Moon	Wed May 31, 2006 11:20 am Post #11
Posts: 8,682 Group: 5000 post Angel Member #5 Joined: November 17, 2005	Jadzia20 May 31 2006, 01:16 PM My mum was never asked that about me, but she did tell all and sundry about it because she wasnt there for me when i started (i was visiting my grandmother) I think its just something that many are concerning themsleves about for some a girl starting her period is showing there ready for sex, sex leading to pregnancy at a early age. But your right its up to your daughter to tell others when she starts. In my mind it's more scientific. Girls don't grow so much when they get their menses, so the later the better. It also affects other things in your body. I'm very honest with my kids about sex and that your body is really your temple, and you should be the only one to decide whom you share it with and so on and so forth. So I'm not worried about her getting pregnant. She's got her head screwed on straight.



Rachel	Wed May 31, 2006 11:20 am Post #12
TOS Girl: All the Way! Posts: 7,613 Group: TOS 5000 Post angel Member #3 Joined: November 16, 2005	Poor Moondance. Your story reminds me of "Pretty in Pink" if memory serves... where Molly Ringwald's grandmother arrives and says to her husband oh look dear. She's got her perkies!" And proceeded to grab two handfuls of Molly's developing bosom!! Needless to say, Molly's character was mortified. But as a quick aside. Because of my gender change people ask Sue and I a whole bunch of personal questions... Are you going to be lesbians? Will you have sex with men now? On one level I can understand the curiousity but on another level it does deal with questions as to what does or does not go on in the privacy of our own sex life. My favorite... Will you use a strap on and if it's Morgan why get rid of the one you had?? Morgan (busily taking notes on Moondance and Wissa's insights into girl world)
	Rachel


Moon	Wed May 31, 2006 11:23 am Post #13
Posts: 8,682 Group: 5000 post Angel Member #5 Joined: November 17, 2005	Morgan May 31 2006, 01:20 PM Poor Moondance. Your story reminds me of "Pretty in Pink" if memory serves... where Molly Ringwald's grandmother arrives and says to her husband oh look dear. She's got her perkies!" And proceeded to grab two handfuls of Molly's developing bosom!! Needless to say, Molly's character was mortified. But as a quick aside. Because of my gender change people ask Sue and I a whole bunch of personal questions... Are you going to be lesbians? Will you have sex with men now? On one level I can understand the curiousity but on another level it does deal with questions as to what does or does not go on in the privacy of our own sex life. My favorite... Will you use a strap on and if it's Morgan why get rid of the one you had?? Morgan (busily taking notes on Moondance and Wissa's insights into girl world) So they're more concerned about the dynamics of your private life than you and what you're going through? Well, I did wonder about the sex life afterwards, but I'm not asking so please don't tell me!!! :panic: :panic: :panic:



Jadzia20	Wed May 31, 2006 11:38 am Post #14
When I crack that whip, everybody goin' to trip like circus Posts: 14,514 Group: 10,000 post spammer Member #23 Joined: January 1, 2006	Moondance May 31 2006, 07:20 PM Jadzia20 May 31 2006, 01:16 PM My mum was never asked that about me, but she did tell all and sundry about it because she wasnt there for me when i started (i was visiting my grandmother) I think its just something that many are concerning themsleves about for some a girl starting her period is showing there ready for sex, sex leading to pregnancy at a early age. But your right its up to your daughter to tell others when she starts. In my mind it's more scientific. Girls don't grow so much when they get their menses, so the later the better. It also affects other things in your body. I'm very honest with my kids about sex and that your body is really your temple, and you should be the only one to decide whom you share it with and so on and so forth. So I'm not worried about her getting pregnant. She's got her head screwed on straight. yeah i know i was responding to the everyon wanting to know.



Rachel	Wed May 31, 2006 11:42 am Post #15
TOS Girl: All the Way! Posts: 7,613 Group: TOS 5000 Post angel Member #3 Joined: November 16, 2005	Moondance May 31 2006, 11:23 AM So they're more concerned about the dynamics of your private life than you and what you're going through? Well, I did wonder about the sex life afterwards, but I'm not asking so please don't tell me!!! :panic: :panic: :panic: Hehehe Well, as I said, I really can understand the curiousity factor. What's interesting is because I am transgendered there's an implication that anything dealing with my sexual behaviour is on the table for discussion. Now, in my case I really don't have any concerns or inhibitions about sharing. But it's the fact that people automatically assume it's open for discussion that I find interesting. For example, I don't automatically assume I can inquire into the frequency, type, quality, duration, or nature of my friends' sexual lives or of their physiological and emotional response to such intimate activity. It is after all intimate; is it not? Morgan
	Rachel


Moon	Wed May 31, 2006 11:48 am Post #16
Posts: 8,682 Group: 5000 post Angel Member #5 Joined: November 17, 2005	Morgan May 31 2006, 01:42 PM Moondance May 31 2006, 11:23 AM So they're more concerned about the dynamics of your private life than you and what you're going through? Well, I did wonder about the sex life afterwards, but I'm not asking so please don't tell me!!! :panic: :panic: :panic: Hehehe Well, as I said, I really can understand the curiousity factor. What's interesting is because I am transgendered there's an implication that anything dealing with my sexual behaviour is on the table for discussion. Now, in my case I really don't have any concerns or inhibitions about sharing. But it's the fact that people automatically assume it's open for discussion that I find interesting. For example, I don't automatically assume I can inquire into the frequency, type, quality, duration, or nature of my friends' sexual lives or of their physiological and emotional response to such intimate activity. It is after all intimate; is it not? Morgan I understant that, makes perfect sense. It is different if you're out with your girly friends and somehow it gets onto the topic of what part of sex is it that you like best. The connection of souls, the foreplay, the actual joining, orgasming, the entire thing!! But no one is saying in detail what it is they like, how often they do it, and how long long they love to have it last. Well maybe we do if we really have a lot of cocktails in us!! But I see your point, the act of making love is an intimacy shared between "two" people. Not everyone else. I think it must be because they see that Sue is still very strongly with you, that it really isn't your transformation Morgan, but rather they're needing to know how it all is so that they handle it properly.



Rachel	Wed May 31, 2006 11:54 am Post #17
TOS Girl: All the Way! Posts: 7,613 Group: TOS 5000 Post angel Member #3 Joined: November 16, 2005	That's exactly right Moondance! Morgan
	Rachel


AWOLangel	Wed May 31, 2006 12:04 pm Post #18
Posts: 36,542 Group: DS9 Nirvana Member #25 Joined: January 17, 2006	my mom & i don't discuss "that time of the month" much. she did tell me what would happen & stuff but her mom never discussed it with her the first time it happened, my mom thought she had cancer or something star jones (the view) told a story of a goddaughter that got her first one during a "girl's weekend" in the country. star & her friends made a big deal of it. the girl supposedly didn't mind, asking that now that she was a "woman" did that mean that she could have champagne to drink? if my mom made a big deal when i first got my "time of the month" i would've just died
	All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.--Abraham Lincoln


Rachel	Wed May 31, 2006 12:10 pm Post #19
TOS Girl: All the Way! Posts: 7,613 Group: TOS 5000 Post angel Member #3 Joined: November 16, 2005	Just think how Moondance felt with her Mom throwing a welcome to womanhood party!!! Morgan
	Rachel


wissaboo	Wed May 31, 2006 12:45 pm Post #20
Posts: 25,676 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: November 16, 2005	Morgan May 31 2006, 10:20 AM My favorite... Will you use a strap on and if it's Morgan why get rid of the one you had?? Well, it does seem to violate the principles of waste not want not.



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