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(Updated when the fancy strikes us)
"I do not think there is any thrill that can go through the human heart like that felt by the inventor as he sees some creation of the brain unfolding to success... such emotions make a man forget food, sleep, friends, love, everything." - Nikola Tesla
Tohea is in archive mode, but the legend lives on. |
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| Arra Twilight; Profile Made | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 16 2008, 06:49 PM (181 Views) | |
| Deleted User | Jul 16 2008, 06:49 PM Post #1 |
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Deleted User
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Trainer Name: Arra Trainer Gender:Male Trainer Age:13 Personal Goals:Achieve to get a perfect set of Pokémon. Arra has been planning to get his dream team ever since he began his journey. His biggest dream is to become a master of pokémon. Trainer Biography: Arra was born in the wondrous land of Kanto. He followed his life playing with his brother's pokémon. As years went by, Arra grew older and older, getting closer to the time where he can start his journey. When he was 7 he went to a pokémon school to study strategies and all of the things needed to become a good pokémon trainer for 3 years. On his last year, the teachers gave Arra a test to see how good of a battler he is. He got a perfect 10 out of 10 for his score. The teachers were pleased with him. Arra has traveled through many and many regions with his parents. When his journey began, a whole new different world opened up to him. And this is where it begins. Starting in Kanto, he moved his way up through the regions, Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, then Sinnoh. His family calls him a legend. But when something different interfered with his family, he had to find out who or what stole them. Back when he was in Kanto, one of his neighbors saw something that looked like a shady human (where they can barely be seen.) in a labcoat with spiky goldenrod hair and some Pokémon fly his family off in the direction of Vermilion City. Trainer Appearance: ![]() Poketech Color: Purple Starter Town:Wayford Starter Pokémon: onix Edited by Eve, Jul 18 2008, 10:59 PM.
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| Kaail Killstream | Jul 16 2008, 07:06 PM Post #2 |
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Don't fear the Reaper
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You've got good grammar, and spelling, though, I'd like to see s'more added to your Biography. Also, let us know what you wish to do in Tohea, by adding a little more in the personal goals field. We want dedicated members, and in order to get just that, we need to be strict with our registrations. You're off to a good start. Edited by Kaail Killstream, Jul 16 2008, 07:07 PM.
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| Deleted User | Jul 16 2008, 07:15 PM Post #3 |
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Edited it. |
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| Lurk | Jul 16 2008, 07:28 PM Post #4 |
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L_L
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For one thing, we like our characters to be fresh-off the bat rookies. It wouldn't make sense for someone who is all powerful only have a level 5 Pokémon. And can you explain what the interference a bit. It doesn't seem real that something would just come by and snatch your family up without any trace of them leaving. You just said "different interference" and then just said something about some being that kidnapped your parents. Where's the actual logic in that? Your sentences are also choppy so fix that. Plus it's "Tohea", not "Tohae". Put a period at the end of the last sentence, too. A lot of gaps in this registration. Let's see if adjusting it will do for you. |
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| Caleb Chanter | Jul 17 2008, 06:49 AM Post #5 |
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Determined Trainer
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Arra can you also choose a different Pokémon for a starter? Lunatone has just been taken.
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| Deleted User | Jul 18 2008, 09:55 PM Post #6 |
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Edited it. |
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| Deleted User | Jul 18 2008, 10:07 PM Post #7 |
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It's a nice basic concept, but there are a few plotline holes that I wonder about. Such as, how could he have gone up through all of those regions in 1-2 years' time? It never says this on the anime, but it's a safe bet that each league tournament is held yearly, and since a trainer has to be 10 before he can get his license, that leaves a few plot holes. Did his family have something to do with this? Or did something else allow him to become a trainer sometime after attending school? As Tony pointed out, "interfering" with the family is a little vague and causes confusion. Also, why did he come to Tohea if something happened to his family? Were there leads that his family might be there, or the source of whatever trouble this is? And also, it's a good thing to change "Tohae" to "Tohea". |
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| Deleted User | Jul 18 2008, 10:38 PM Post #8 |
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*has it edited* |
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| Deleted User | Jul 18 2008, 10:42 PM Post #9 |
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You've got a few more error, but I know when to stop beating the horse... literally >.>; I'll go ahead and okay this. Approved *Ares Stamp* |
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| Deleted User | Jul 18 2008, 10:42 PM Post #10 |
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YAY! *shot* |
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5:51 PM Jul 10
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![]](http://z2.ifrm.com/static/1/pip_r.png)

Lunatone has just been taken.
5:51 PM Jul 10