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| Tweet Topic Started: Wednesday May 3 2006, 08:08 AM (90 Views) | |
| kylito | Wednesday May 3 2006, 08:08 AM Post #1 |
Puntillazo
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eadline of the Day Posted by DAN SAVAGE > at 01:59 PM > Man Severs Own Penis, Throws It at Officers > The Chicago Sun-Times reports. > Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw > something unusual at them-his penis. Fik, 33, cut > off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage > Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik > hurled several knives and his severed organ at the > officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a > Taser and took him into custody. > "We took him out without any serious injury, with > the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. > Edward Dolan of the 16th District. > > The man's penis was reattached by docs at > Northwestern Memorial Hospital. And you gotta love > this quote about from the docs: > Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at > the University of Chicago, said severed penises are > uncommon but surgery usually works. Let's hope > they're uncommon. And it's the fact that the surgery > usually works is some small comfort, I suppose- in > the case of Jakub Fik, rumor has it that it's a very > small comfort indeed. > According to highly placed sources in the > investigation-my dad was a Chicago cop, don't > forget-the inside dope goes like this: The cause of > Fik's naked, dick-cutting rampage? His girlfriend > insulted the size of his dick. Enraged, Fik decided > to show his girlfriend what a really small dick > looks like. Adding insult to injury, whoever wrote > the police report made snarky reference to the size > of Fik's severed penis: "After an extensive search, > the organ was found." |
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