Singleness and Discontentment

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Singleness and Discontentment; Exposing the enemy in your thought-life!
Topic Started: Nov 7 2006, 08:19 AM (45 Views)
may	Nov 7 2006, 08:19 AM Post #1
Unregistered	Singleness and Discontent Are you single? Have you ever had someone ask you if you are married, and when you say “No”, they say “Why not? What’s wrong?” Well, I am getting really tired of that mindset. It is time we get some teaching out there and educate people about what’s really happening in that kind of response. First, I want to say that there is nothing wrong with being single, and there is not necessarily anything ‘wrong’ with a person because they happen to be single. Jesus was 33 years old and single. Was there anything wrong with Him? I think not. What about Paul? He did get quite a bit done for Jesus (understatement of the millenium). Some people argue that Paul was married at one time, because he used to be a Pharisee, and one of the requirements to be a Pharisee was that a man must be married. Well, that may have been the case, but it looks like after his conversion to Jesus, that all changed. Including his position as a Pharisee. Anyway, in 1 Cor 7:8 Paul writes of himself as unmarried. Whether single or divorced, he is still unmarried. Now I would love to get married just as much as most other single people I know. But I will take advantage of the opportunity to be single for as long as I have it. Once I am married, that’s the end of being single. And I would like to say that being married is a blessing (Read 1 Corinthians 7). But being single is also a blessing. Each position comes with benefits and sacrifices. The Apostle Paul talked about being single versus being married. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. That, beloved, means being content. Being content with what we have, and our station in life, and leaving it up to God to change it. It seems to me that even before the seed of sin is implanted in our minds, there is a little event called “discontent”. Here’s the scenario: DIALOGUE: Someone says: “You’re single? Why? What’s wrong?” (the voice of discontent, even though they are totally unaware of letting their mouth be used by the devil, as Peter was when he said to Jesus, “Far be it from you, Lord! This will never happen to you!” in Matthew 16:22. And he got Eve to be discontent in the Garden of Eden, too, by the way.) Now, you might disagree with this, but just keep reading… Then we think, “Hmmm. You’re right. There must be something wrong in my life or something wrong with me. I will look at what I don’t have and I will feel sorry for myself.” (Discontent takes root and gets the response it wants- and we may be totally unaware that this is happening. See? We must take every thought captive and make obedient to Christ as in 2 Cor 10:5.) “I don’t have a spouse. Therefore I am lonely.” (Now we are taking our eyes off Jesus, - yet shouldn’t He be everything we need? He will be our husband. Read Isaiah 54:1-5) (Instead of seeing the beautiful opportunity to serve Jesus 100% of the time because of the freedom in being single. When we are married, it is more of a challenge to carve out time with Him because of the demands of family life and balancing all those blessings) “Now let me look around to change this.” (Again, taking our eyes off Jesus, plus now we are looking to do things our way. Well, here comes trouble, because we just got off the path. Sure, we might find someone. Maybe even someone who’s a good fit. But wouldn’t you rather wait and get God’s best? That’s what He wants for us. Do we trust Hi m enough to wait? He may be still forging our character or the character of the spouse He intends for us. Are we going to make a decision and marry someone out of an emotional response to loneliness or the fear of being alone? Bad idea, and we are not thinking clearly. Or we may jump the gun and get emotionally involved with someone and get our heart broken. Been there, done that. Trying to quit. I think we had better let God finish forging our character and let Him decide when we are ready to marry, if it is His will, and to whom we should marry. Marriage is not an addition equation. MATHEMATICS of MARRIAGE Some people think: ˝ a person + ˝ a person = 1 whole marriage. That “I am not whole without someone”. Marriage is a multiplication equation! ˝ x ˝ = Ľ!! And discrepancies brought to the marriage are compounded. Here’s the truth: 1 whole person + 1 whole person = 1 healthy marriage. If a person is ˝, they need to put Jesus on the throne in their hearts, then they become whole. If a person is not complete, it is because Jesus is not being prioritized where He should be, and the person in lack will seek to fill the lack through their spouse. But only Jesus can fill the lack. Otherwise, the person is putting their spouse where Jesus should be, and that is idolatry. Not only that, but the spouse gets drained as unreasonable expectations are put on them. WISDOM: The Word of God says to guard your heart. Pro 4:23 Guard your heart more than anything else, because the source of your life flows from it. And again and again in Song of Solomon, God spells it our for us like this- 3 times!: Son 2:7 Young women of Jerusalem, swear to me by the gazelles or by the does in the field that you will not awaken love or arouse love before its proper time. Son 3:5 Young women of Jerusalem, swear to me by the gazelles or by the does in the field, that you will not awaken love or arouse love before its proper time. Son 8:4 Young women of Jerusalem, swear to me that you will not awaken love or arouse love before its proper time! Of course, we are relational creatures, and we must share our hearts or we isolate ourselves into a living hell. So there comes discernment and we must learn where healthy boundaries are kept. So we must check into how to conduct ourselves in male/female relationships: 1Ti 5:1-2 Don't correct an older man. Encourage him, as you would your own father. Treat younger men as you would your own brother, and treat older women as you would your own mother. Show the same respect to younger women that you would to your sister. OK, so look at everyone as family and treat them with all purity. Sweet. After all, we are all related! BACK TO THE DIALOGUE Errors in though happen incrementally and sometimes it is hard to detect. I have to watch myself very carefully, because I have a fragile heart. I must constantly guard my heart so that I don’t give anyone more than Jesus gets. Relationships must maintain balance. Going from friendship into courting can be a scary thing because it means emotional risk. But isn’t the best fruit on the farthest branch of the tree? We cannot love without risk and vulnerability. Even in friendship. So let’s not jump the gun on ‘the big one’. How about this: “You’re single? Why? What’s wrong?” “Nothing, is wrong, thanks. I am blessed either way. God might be busy getting someone wonderful ready for me, and in the meantime, I am growing very rich in the fruits of the spirit.” OTHER LIES Here are some other lies that Discontentment tells us that I am so sick of and absolutely hate. And this time, the enemy used your own voice so it makes you think you are coming up with this yourself, even though you know better because you are a child of God. So it whispers at you in the first person, but we can fight against it with the (S)Word: “I am not married, so that means I am unlovable.” (Yeah, but Jesus loved me enough to bankrupt heaven and die for me) “I am worthless because no one loves me enough to want to marry me.” (Hey, wait a minute! God does not make junk!) “There is something wrong with me because I am not married.” (Is ‘marriage’ my god? No.) Then self-pity comes (that’s us agreeing with the enemy) along and the enemy is winning because we are becoming short-sighted, hopeless, joyless, and self-centered… “I am (FILL IN THE BLANK) years old and still not married. I will never find someone!” (Hey- we walk by faith and not sight. 2 Cor 5:7) Then envy and jealousy try to get you to go their way by whispering: “Look at my friends and relatives with their children and families, and yet I am alone, and (the depression gets a little jab in) without purpose” Oh, yeah? Psa 68:6 God setteth the solitary in families: He bringeth out the prisoners into prosperity; But the rebellious dwell in a parched land. Psa 84:11 For Jehovah God is a sun and shield; Jehovah will give grace and glory; He will withhold nothing good from those who walk in integrity. Num 23:19 God is not a man that He should lie, or a son of man that He should repent. Has He said, and shall He not do it? And has He spoken, and shall He not make it good? And now read Isaiah 54 again. Can you see where this is coming from? Let’s expose the plots of the enemy in our though-life. Now let’s stand on the Word of God and on His promises and kick the devil in the teeth! Doesn’t God provide spouses and even children in old age? He did for Abraham and Sarah! He can make a barren womb at the age of 90 produce a son. If Satan is trying to take your focus on where you are going (heaven, and even life more abundantly on earth, because the kingdom of God is in the heart), then just remind him of where he is going! Stand on the promises of God and hold fast to hope!
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