WHY ARE WOMAN CRABBY

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WHY ARE WOMAN CRABBY
Topic Started: Nov 17 2005, 09:26 PM (47 Views)
TBEAR	Nov 17 2005, 09:26 PM Post #1
Moderator Posts: 95 Group: Co-Admin Member #8 Joined: October 28, 2005	Why Women are Crabby We started to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs. Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had. Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about. Then it' was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby. Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push Just one more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the ***** (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10lb bowling ball through a keyhole. After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines. Then come their teen years. Need I say more? When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday. So we progress into the grand finale! : "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves. Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks... So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me.



RedVelvet	Nov 18 2005, 06:08 AM Post #2
Advanced Member Posts: 56 Group: Members Member #11 Joined: November 9, 2005	Karen...this was so funny!!! Thanks for posting it. RedVelvet (Diane)
	I Samuel 12:24 ~ Only fear the LORD, and serve him in truth with all your heart: for consider how great things he hath done for you.


eagle	Nov 19 2005, 03:06 PM Post #3
Unregistered	Hi Karen :lol: It really tickled me. Hmmm - just thinking I must still experience my kids teenager years and just thinking of it is giving me grey hair, not to talk bout the rest.
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TBEAR	Nov 20 2005, 12:15 AM Post #4
Moderator Posts: 95 Group: Co-Admin Member #8 Joined: October 28, 2005	Glad to hear that you ladies enjoyed this ... I hope to get some more up sometime soon. As this will be a busy week for me so I will be lucky if I can come in and check things out and say HELLO so take care and have a blessed weekend what is left of it !!



may	May 20 2006, 07:32 AM Post #5
Unregistered	Hi, Karen! I am new to the forum. My name is May. I know you posted this a while ago, but I got a big kick out of it. And I must say, since I have not yet had to go through any of the motherhood things, I am now becoming quite aware that maybe the apostle Paul was right and I have indeed been spared! Hehehe.. Thanks for the post! Under the Blood, May
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