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Only In America
Topic Started: Sep 19 2006, 06:23 PM (169 Views)
wren.silverphoenix
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Not A Bitch...THE Bitch
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The WTF factor here is completely off the charts for this one...


Last month, when we heard about the 45 year-old man from Enumclaw, WA who died while trying to have sex with a horse, we like most people, simply assumed that his fatal injuries were the result of being kicked in the head by his unwilling equestrian 'partner'.

But instead, the actual cause of death was even more disturbing (but much funnier). An autopsy revealed that the sick little pervert had actually died from internal bleeding caused by a perforated colon. Yes folks, this twisted individual will go down in history as the first person to be ass-f*#ked to death by a horse! (His family must be so proud of him!)

Investigators first learned of the incident after the man was admitted to Enumclaw Community Hospital on July 2 and died shortly afterwards. The county Medical Examiner's Office ruled that the death was accidental and the result of having sex with a horse. (Maybe the hoof prints on his back might have given the game away).

But the story kept on getting stranger. Firstly, this doesn't appear to have been an isolated incident. Preliminary investigations by King County sheriff's detectives discovered that the farm in Enumclaw, near Seattle, where the bizarre sexual encounter took place, was a hot topic of discussion in Internet chat rooms as a "destination" spot for people looking to have sex with animals.

Police and local vets then inspected the chickens, goats and sheep on the property to determine whether they too had been victimized. Although no definite proof emerged that sex was forced on these smaller, weaker animals, a police spokesman told reporters that he had seen several of the chickens "walking a bit funny".

Secondly, the man's family, (who not surprisingly, wished to remain anonymous), told reporters that they were shocked by the news and were amazed when told that their father had purchased the thoroughbred stallion earlier in the year, apparently one of a pair he kept at the farm. (We can't wait to hear what they decide to put on his headstone -"Loving husband - Caring Father - Animal Lover & Horse F*#ker" )

But the strangest detail of all was yet to come. Apparently, police discovered that the man had actually made a video tape of the whole perverted sexual encounter.

Now the guys here at the Gag Report are pretty open-minded when it comes to sex, (so long as its between consenting adults of the human species), but why the hell would anyone want to tape themselves having sex with a horse?

Was he afraid that being shagged by a dick the size of baseball bat attached to a bucking bronco wouldn't be a memorable-enough experience?

"Hey Boom. Remember that time you got f*#ked by that horse?"

"No actually, I can't say that I do. Could you pass me that video tape so I can refresh my memory?"

And how does one begin to get into this whole "being f*#ked by a horse" fetish? Does one have to start off with a Donkey or something and work up?

Well, the guys here at the Gag Report may never know the answers to these puzzling sexual problems but at least this whole sordid affair has finally solved one of life's great questions...

Yes. Size really does matter
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I'm a polite person. I'll tell you thanks and to fuck off in the same sentence.
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Frank Merritt
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9-3-1 A.W's X-Treme Juggernaut
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yeah, that happened bout a year ago....was big time in the news here and caused the state of washington to create a law that you cant have sex with animals
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You think you can take me? You need a fucking army if you gonna take me.....

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Shannon
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Da Bossman
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One of my favorite lines in 40 Year Old Virgin

"I mean, you think it's gonna be cool, you know, this woman getting fucked by a horse. Well, then we get there and this woman is getting fucked by a horse. You kinda feel bad for her. You kinda feel bad for the horse." Paraphrasing, of course.

Classic. cooooool
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http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr...hannon%20Skanes
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Moose
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Anyone else notice everytime this happens Wren seems to have the article right away?
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The B-RATED SUPERSTAR!!........Thanks Freak
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27 - 5 - 3
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wren.silverphoenix
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:D What can I say? Sick and Twisted minds think alike....scary isn't it?
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I'm a polite person. I'll tell you thanks and to fuck off in the same sentence.
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