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We Mock Boom; and do so, well.
Topic Started: Sep 7 2006, 03:01 PM (259 Views)
Leech
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Has a laminated Xerox of the Counterfeit Club
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Shannon and I have been laughing our asses off at Boom's Dustin Walters Rp's in that other fed. (The Xerox club.) So we took the time to mock his RP's there because they are SO mock worthy. This is the third in the ridiculous series. As soon as Shannon gets back to me with the first two, I'll post them as well. (Unless he posted them somewhere already that I'm unaware of...)

Anyway, here we go, WE MOCK BOOM!


London Biggen Hill Airport 8:30AM loacal time...as for pacific its to craptacularly early to guess.

Leech: I'm no math whiz, but I'm pretty sure that makes it 12:30am Pacific. You know, just off the top of my head.

*Scene opens up to London Biggen Airport near the center of London, England. Home to eddie the eagle, the queen...and that extra spice girl people don't know of. We see resident badass goodguy Dustin walters sitting on a bench reading a paper backwards. He takes a bite of his Sausage McMuffin and a sip of his coffee...4 cream 4 sugar gets the blood flowing in the morning. Dustin turns the page and suddenly twists it right side up.*

HEADLINE: BLPW SIGNS NEW TALENT!

Henry Lesher - Headlines speak?

Leech: This is the kind of shit that passes for news in London?

Dustin: Thats the last thing we need around here. More people who are out to knock me off my thone. I don't need them here. I don't want them here. This new Skope guy really boils my blood. He is probably the one behind the kidnapping of Michelle.

Henry Lesher - Where do I start with the logic in that? A brand new person who just arrived committed a crime two weeks ago before he arrived? Dustin missed his calling with CSI.



*It is now apparent that even though Dustin's body isn't fully controlled by the injection the scientists the other small part is

Leech: Want to take bets on what exactly that small part is?

becomming paranoid by the day that anybody could be the one who stole Michelle from him in the first place. With a rash of new superstars entering the BLPW everyday Dustin's paranoia raises higher and higher. He grows weary each day and he doesn't sleep much any night he has now resorted to eating food prepared for astronauts because of his fears the scientists might find out where he is staying and drug his food. Dustin has also suffered from his massive blood loss at the last BLPW PPV. He is also suprising docors on his recovery from what happened the tuesday before.*

BACK INTO THE PAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...Of last tuesday!!!

(We see an ambulance shaking from side to side as it barrels down the middle of a street from a very large stadium to emergency.)

Leech: When this ambulance starts a rockin' don't come a knockin'.

Paramedic: Hold still now this won't hurt a bit.

Dustin: I don't trust you! I want my wife back I want to hold her in my arms!

Henry Lesher - Genetic experiments sure are gay these days. I think they injected him with estrogen.

(He is rocking himself back and forth trying to break free from the straps holding him down. One of the other paramedics in the ambulance tries to insert some morphine into Dustin to keep him calm but he tries to dodge it as a fat kid dodges vegetables.)

Dustin: GET AWAY FROM ME!

Leech: Advice that I must say, I'm proud to live my life by.

(He breaks free of the grasp and starts to choke out one of the paramedics but the other acts fast and injects some of the morphine into his neck. Dustin stays on his ampage for a few more seconds even trying to jump out of the fast moving vehicle ut then he settles right down and closes his eyes.)

INTO THE FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Henry Lesher - Did Doc Brown script this thing?

*Dustin had a rough time and din't sleep or eat anything those men brought him for his fear of the scientists.*

Dustin: He's the one I can tell. Thats why he wanted a match with me this wek well I'll show him!...I come out firing I'll stop his little plot...

..............

I BET HE'S BRINGING MICHELLE!

Leech: How, the hell, did he come to that conclusion?

Skorp I will hunt you down and find Michelle. But where are you going to hide her? It doesn't matter I will find her any way possible. You will not get out of my grasp until I find my wife! She deserves to be free she didn't do anything! I still love her and I will not stop until you tell me where she is.

Henry Lesher - He's like a retarded version of Harrison Ford in one of those movies where he's president and his wife is gone... except this is just stupid.

Leech: Someone should cut off this guys hands. He's this bent up over losing one of the three women he's ever fucked. Could you imagine his reaction to losing the other two?

*Dustin gets up and tosses his Rotten Ronnies bag in the trash. As he does his cell phone rings. He looks at it once.)

....Ring........

....Ring.......

*Dustin answers it*

Dutin: Hello?

Henry Lesher - He seems baffled by the phone.

....Ring......

....Ring......

Henry Lesher - Ummmm..... this can't get worse.

Voice: BANANAPHONE!!!

Henry Lesher - I'm wrong. It's worse.

Dustin: Who is this.? Is it you skorp?

Voice: No its not but its someone who knows you. You know me and I've been fascinated in you for many months...

Leech: Anyone else notice that Dustin's being stalked by a group of homoerotic scientists?

Dustin: About?

Voice: Don't you see! I am the man who ordered you to be turned into that super soldier!

Henry Lesher - Bang up job on that one, too.

Dustin: Is....this...Mr. Bush?

Leech: Yes. President Bush has nothing more to do than create an army of “super soliers” with the intellect lower than any run of the mill ape.

Voice: No its not him but I will call you periodically and give you hints as to who I am.

Henry Lesher - Why would anyone do that? And why wouldn't he say 'I'm not him?' Did someone else say that part?

Leech: First hint: I burst through walls and yeall “Oh yeah!”

Dustin: Where's Michelle? Tell me where she is. I don't care who you are just let me see her.

Voice: Well I'm afraid if you have to see her she'll die...

Leech: I'm pretty sure after she married Dustin, she wants to die anyway.

Different Voice: Dustin do what he says please!

*A gun clicks in the background.*

Henry Lesher - The gun clicks as a mating call. It only does it in the background, though.

Dustin: Ok Ok. What do you want?

Leech: How about logic? Does the word “coherency” mean anything to you? What do I want? A fucking point.

Voice: In due time my pet...hahahahahhahahahaha....click...

*Mysterious man hangs up.*

Henry Lesher - So he said 'click' and hung up? Wow...


Over in Manchester, England

Man: He has no clue does he.

Woman's voice: Don't think he doesn't know. He will find me eventually.

Leech: Naturally. That is how hide and seek works.

Man: I wouldn't be to sure about that. Would you?

Leech: The correct response to this, note not the actual one, is: Huh?

Woman: You're an awful man. When I see your full face from behind that redish mask I will you'll be sorry.

Henry Lesher - So she intends to put on his mask to see him? I'm confused.

*The man comes out of a shadow. The woman gasps.*

Henry Lesher - I would gasp, too if someone came out of a shadow. That's Freddy Krueger material.

Leech: Funny, I was told “shadow” but all I saw was a closet.

Man: You'll both pay for what you did.

*With that we fade out wondering who this man is. Will he appear at this week's Epic? Will Dustin ever see the love of his life again? Only time will tell.*

Henry Lesher - I want them all to perish.

Fade Out.

Leech: It was originally going to go on, but he ran out of pronouns.
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Moose
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Alright, I now have a pounding headache from trying to figure out what the hell Boom was talking about.
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The B-RATED SUPERSTAR!!........Thanks Freak
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W - L - D
27 - 5 - 3
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Nameless
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Hates it there
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Oooh, I'm going to pick Dustin up for spelling mistakes :D

Biggen Hill - The place I was raised when I was a little thing, interesting fact for you all there.

Biggin Hill Airport, itsn't quite near central london, it's about 12 miles away

anyway, apart from that, I wish I could write roleplays of a quality standard like that
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thefreakhimself
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As an English major, anything he writes makes me want to kill myself. I shall alter a popular phrase, as I love Shan, Tan, and the rest of you AW Canuc's.

Damn "STUPID, FAT, RACIST, MEDIOCRE BASEBALL PLAYING" Canadians.

And he turned down my sexual advances.

Way to hit the nail on the head... :blink:
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"There's nothing to fear but The Freak, Himself"

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**Harmony Fellacia**Narrator**The Freak, Himself**
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Rated R
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Freak, I was a physics major, and everything Boom writes makes ME want to kill myself.

Every day, I wake up with a horrible feeling in my gut, that it will be that day I randomly run into the kid on the streets of Halifax, and somehow, he'll know who I am.
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Leech
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Has a laminated Xerox of the Counterfeit Club
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Quote:
 
Every day, I wake up with a horrible feeling in my gut, that it will be that day I randomly run into the kid on the streets of Halifax, and somehow, he'll know who I am.


I think he'd figure it out once your hands are around his neck as you scream "Boom, you inbecil, your every breath is... (fill in the rest.)" I know if I lived in the same place he did, after seeing his picture, that if I ever saw him, jail time for me. lol

Anyway, as he continues to write, we'll continue to mock it, not that we don't do any better job than he does while writing it, of course.
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Kitty
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I've never been so happy to live on the west coast! :)
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Galactic Princess of Planet Twinklight
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Parker Davis
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But which bastard took Michelle? Damn, this storyline is better than 24.

Bravo on the return of Mocked.

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Vigilante
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Bravo indeed.

Leech, you fucking rock that shit man. Funny, funny bastard. cooooool

Boom, you're even better. .. .. .. Oh shit, he was being serious?
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YEAH VIG! YOU ROCK!!
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Parker Davis
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Boom needs to be back in AW, that other place doesn't derserve a man of Boom's special needs.
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Shannon
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Da Bossman
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Parker Davis
Sep 8 2006, 10:44 PM
Boom needs to be back in AW, that other place doesn't derserve a man of Boom's special needs.

AW does provide all of its wrestlers with helmets, safety scissors and is completely harmless when ingested.
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Parker Davis
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Corks on the end of forks and all that jazz.
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