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| Letch In The City; archive | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 27 2007, 10:04 PM (499 Views) | |
| Bada Bing | Sep 27 2007, 10:04 PM Post #1 |
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El Crack
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THE TROUBLE WITH LIONEL Good morning Campers, Well Mr Bing has re-launched the Badaball website and it looks great doesn’t it? My only complaint I have to say is my blog introduction, what are my grievances? Well where do I start? 1.’Wicked sense of humour’ so I look like the back end of a bus but hey at least she can laugh at herself. 2. ‘Hobby of letching’ I’m desperate and shallow 3. ‘Lacks in quantity’ ok I’m small but there’s no need to rub it in now is there?! Good job this isn’t a dating site isn’t it? Right now I’m really going to start having a moan, might as well it over and done with as you know it’s coming…. the GB games, I can’t tell you how pissed off I am, firstly no games in London, the Capital city of England, bloody disgraceful – can EB set there sights any lower? They have opted to play out of some leisure centre in Crawley instead and once I’d got over my outrage I thought ok it’s not actually that far away from London. It will take me three hours to get home but hey it will be worth it to see some true NBA stars. Then I look at the dates and then my fury starts up again, the dates have been changed. Originally I was planning on going to the 15th August game now that’s been moved to the 16th and I’m away on hols from the 16th bloody #### if you’ll excuse my language. Can’t make Birmingham either and it’s on a Tuesday anyway. That leaves Edinburgh, which is a bit too far North; everyone knows I don’t travel any further North than the Watford Gap, outrageous! Speaking of Northerners, I’m reading a book - yes I do manage to fit some light reading in between my reality TV schedule and letching – called ‘Pies and Prejudice’ which is about a guy rediscovering his Northern roots. Apparently he was appalled that he may be turning into a southerner, the kind of people who have sun-dried tomatoes and cappuccino makers in their kitchen, oh the horror! Well mate you’re still a Northerner as us real southerners have smoothie makers and smoked salmon is a stable in our fridges, this I believe is a true sign of Southernism. Shouldn’t be having a go at the Northerners really as I have been talked into going to a hen weekend in Geordie land in August, with 30 women. Jesus wept I’m already scared. Watch out Bada 30 cackling inebriated women are heading your way so I’m giving you advance warning to make yourself scarce and don’t come back to the city until it’s safe. Oh and I’m taking your advice and getting a "larn yersel Geordie" book. I’ve already been getting into practice so I’ll fit in easily ‘whey aye chicken pie’ – haven’t a clue what it means but it sounds good. Will it help with the fellas I wonder? Was reading Martin Henlan’s latest blog on UKTV Slam and the fact he hated Karl Brown (a man of good taste in my opinion), which reminded me of my absolute aversion for Mr Brown as well. From the moment I clocked eyes on him when he played for The Leopards I was spewing blood. Why the hatred? Dunno really though I have a sneaky suspicion it had something to do with the fact that he looks like Lionel Richie and I can’t stand Lionel. I should explain my Lionel loathing, once a long time ago I went on a girly 18-30 holiday with my best mate to Tenerife and we brought all our favourite tapes with us to play in our apartment and the most vivid memory I have of this holiday is her torturing me with bloody ‘Hello’ and ####ty ‘Dancing on the ceiling’ over and over again. If she weren’t my best mate I would have quite cheerfully drowned her along with Lionel in the flaming pool. Oh and she’s bigger than me as well so probably was best to let sleeping dogs lie. So you can imagine my utter distaste when he came to the Towers trying to compete with the Towers legend Diamond Danny, as if! Don’t believe he was very popular with many of The Towers posse though I could be wrong. So it’s off season and everyone is speculating about where the players are all going to end up, I couldn’t give monkeys to be honest as I’m still smarting over the Towers not returning. It may take another couple of months of sulking. Now let me see now what have I been doing with myself of late….. Well was in Ireland again last week, just to get out of the rat race for a few days and I have to tell you this…………….. I got the flight for 2p, yes you heard right 2p! I love saying 2p it’s got a wonderful ring to it hasn’t it? Ryanair had a special promotion selling off flights for a penny each way and I have to confess I think it all went to my head and I became a tiny bit addicted. I booked seven flights just for the thrill of paying for something that cost 2p. Also took great pleasure in telling this woman – with some smugness I have to say sitting next to me on the flight and boring the pants off me how much I paid for the flight. Needless to say she paid more than 2p and was fuming, my self-satisfied smile probably didn’t help but it quietened her down for a bit so all’s well that ends well. Having just written this I now realise how sad I am and that I am turning into my mother, she will be proud. Well we received some good news in my family recently, one of my sisters – I’m one of four - has just got engaged and there is uproar that she’s decided against marrying in a catholic church (oh the shame of it) and my ma is furious! Well at least she was until my sister announced she has decided to get married in a grand castle instead. Apparently one of the lads from Westlife got married in a castle so that’s all right then; we can all rest easily in our beds now. If it’s good enough for Westlife then it’s good enough for my ma, give me strength…. Anyway want to hear an Irish joke? What's Irish and is left outside all summertime? Paddy O'Furniture Sorry I’ll get my coat! My reality TV schedule is packed so I’ll give you a quick rundown: Apprentice: winner Simon = Prat - that’s all I’m saying. Big Bro: has as usual taken over my life, can’t go out on Friday nights anymore because that is eviction night and it would be a sin for me to leave the sofa. Not sure what to make of it at the mo as they keep mixing it up though I’m glad they put some fellas in there (obviously). I’m liking Chanelle in spite of the Posh infatuation and Brian in a weird car crash don’t want to look but can’t help myself sort of way. Britain has got talent: a bit rubbish really but I watched it anyway. Oh and I went to Wimbledon the other day, I love Wimbledon it’s such a constitution isn’t it? It’s a day when you’re proud to be British, a bit like the last night of the proms, when it’s ok to get your union jack flag out with pride and without fear of persecution. Love it. And believe it or not it didn’t rain either, smashing. Sat on Henman Hill to watch the old warhorse Henman get through the 1st round, he has unbelievable support it’s such a shame he just doesn’t have that winning mentality that the likes of Federer and Nadal have. I just want someone, anyone really to challenge Federer this year because it’s getting boring now, a bit like the Sampras era. I had a brilliant day though; it’s one of my highlights every year. Oh and I saw a little bit of the game with that really tall Croatian player Ivo Karlovic, 6ft 10; blimey I would not like to be at the receiving end of one of his serves! Hmm that Andy Roddick is a bit of alright isn’t he? Yes I do always have to lower the tone. Right I’m off to watch some more tennis on the telly so I’ll say ta-ra for now. |
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| Bada Bing | Nov 29 2007, 06:45 PM Post #2 |
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El Crack
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29 september a southern bird migrates north Helloooo, Long time no see! Last updated in June, hmm I’ve been a right lazy arse haven’t I? I’ve tried claiming writers block but after 3 months I think the excuse is wearing a bit thin but it’s the off season for player letching so what does Bada expect? Right well back to business, there’s been a double whammy of bad news since I last put pen to paper. Firstly, after just one season London United have had to bail out of the BBL, which is a real shame as they seemed to have all the foundations in place to make a success of the club in this league. Genuinely disappointed for all those involved with the United set-up but fingers crossed they’ll be back next season and then we can have a proper London Derby game when the Towers return as well. (Well a girl can dream can’t she?) The second very distressing news is that the lovely Tarick has left me! Well ok maybe I’m being a bit overdramatic as he doesn’t actually know me from Adam but he has up sticks and left for a life in sunny Spain without so much as an Adios. I thought we had an understanding, I was the stalker and he was my prey, a perfect arrangement, no? Honestly these basketball players are getting way too fickle these days. Ah well I wish him all the best and Barcelona isn’t too far away is it? I mean it’s a bit pricier than the tube to East London but I do have air miles with Ryanair… So I now face the dilemma of where to resume my letching activities. Hmm well it looks like I’m going to have to go back to school…yes that does sound a bit dodgy but it’s the home of the London Capitals so needs must. I daresay the venue is situated in the backend of nowhere and I’ll have to take my life in my hands as usual but I guess it does add a bit of spice to my Saturday nights, dicing with death and all that. Can’t say I’m too enthusiastic about the start of the season at the moment but I am happy that the man with the girly socks is back! Excellent news, I wish Bucknall every success in his first season as coach and look forward to cheering him and the guys on very soon. So summer is just about over and what a bloody miserable summer it’s been. The only bright thing about it was the performances of the GB team, now newly promoted to Division A. How fantastic is it to see an NBA star like Deng being so dedicated to the cause? Hopefully this is the start of something great for basketball over here and we can look forward to exciting times ahead. Now I must confess that I didn’t actually witness any of their performances, as I was off gallivanting here, there and everywhere so I’m afraid the rest of this blog will just be about me, myself and I. So what have I been up to I hear you ask? Ok your not too fussed but I need fill this column with something so tough! Right well I spent a few days in Palma, Majorca to catch some rays and indulge in the wonderful delights of the many bars and restaurants on offer. I also managed to get myself a tan, which I’m desperately trying to hold on to it for dear life and failing miserably. (I’m just not ready for the pasty look just yet) I also dragged some friends over to Kerry for what I laughingly called a ‘summer’ holiday. We had every weather element going, well apart from sun of course. where literally rained in and we have a saying in Ireland which is ‘if your going to be rained in anywhere then make sure it’s a pub’ OK I made that up but it helps to explain why I spent five days holed up in pubs in Dingle. Dingle has 52 pubs and well not a lot else really. You can even do your shopping in the pubs. Honestly it’s true; you can pop in for a pint and pick up a sack of potatoes on your way out. One of my favourite ones is called Foxy Johns, which doesn’t look like it’s had a make over since the 19th century but hey that’s part of it’s charm. The pub also doubles up as a hardware store so you can go in order a pint of Guinness and that screw or erm power drill thingy (not sure what else they sell in hardware shops) that you so needed at the same time. Of course the only snag is that one Guinness can lead to ten so there’s always the risk that you’ll forget what you actually came in for but the logic is there and that’s what counts. Now you may remember in my last piece I made a threat to Bada that I was planning an onslaught on Newcastle for a hen party. Well I did in deed carry out this threat and myself along with 25 women headed up North for some cheap booze and friendly Northern hospitality. And that’s exactly what we got, by the bucket load! Newcastle is a great city and the Geordies all seem to be a fun, good-natured bunch. Had a fabulous time, spending it mostly in cheesy bars boogying to 70’s and 80’s music. (I was dressed as a seventies hippy lovechild so I fit in quite nicely!) There was even some break dancing in one bar, with dudes doing all the spinning on their heads business with everyone gathered round in a circle cheering them on, just like in the films. Fabulous stuff, you just don’t get quality entertainment like that down Covent Garden. I do have to say though the city centre can only be entered after six double vodkas, firstly because it’s bloody cold and apparently it’s a crime to wear a coat and secondly it’s pretty mad, kind of like Ibiza on speed so it’s best to be intoxicated to fit in with the crowd. I found this out the hard way because I made the fatal error of going in stone cold sober and wearing a coat and scarf... Shudder, never again I can honestly say it was a very surreal experience; everyone was staring at me like I had two heads. One guy even asked if I spoke English as he thought I must be French, apparently the scarf gave it away… Blimey it was cold for goodness sake! Anyway I’ll definitely be back, might even catch an Eagles game especially with the added bonus of seeing Lynard Stewart back in action. (I bet he thought he was safe in Newcastle..) Oh for feck sake, in the mist of writing this I’ve just heard that Jose has left Chelsea! Well they do say bad things happen in threes but honestly where am I supposed to get my laughs from now the ‘Special one’ isn’t here to wind up the whole football nation? Damn Well I’m off to contemplate life without Tarick, the Special one and Big Brother… I could be a while… Adios for now! |
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| Bada Bing | Feb 2 2008, 10:47 AM Post #3 |
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El Crack
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29 NOV GHOSTS OF TOWERS PAST Hi-di-hi, I hope your all sitting down as this might come as a shock but I’m actually going to talk about basketball this time round, wonders will never cease heh? OK before you all get too excited I’ve only managed a preseason NBA game and one BBL but still it’s two more than last time. I got my first NBA game experience at the O2 arena with Celtics V Timberwolves. The game itself wasn't much cop to be honest, the Celtics never had to get out of second gear but I appreciated the opportunity of getting to watch the geniuses of all stars such as Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen, to coin an ever familiar American phase ‘totally awesome!’ I enjoyed the 'game experience' and all the razzmatazz for what it was: Cheerleaders, half time entertainment, hot dogs, beer, large TV screens, fantastic seating and it was a sellout. It just gets you thinking about the potential of basketball in this country which makes having to go to a school where you have to smuggle in your own alcohol to get my basketball kicks all the more frustrating. Mind you I don’t think I could afford £55 a ticket every Saturday so it’s all swings and roundabouts I suppose. So now on to the BBL game, Capitals v Lions cup quarterfinal. I set off to the game with a mission in mind; I had strict instructions from Mr. Bing to stop mooning over Tarick and to find myself another player to ‘perv’ over (cheeky sod) and well who am I to argue. So we turn up at the venue, a school in an all glass building, which looked pretty impressive from the outside. We paid our tenner and then made our way down to the court to get our seats. The court is in the drafty school gym, with a small number of seating on one side with the player’s benches on the other. The music was deafening, it’s all that street urban stuff, which I hate, give me ‘we will rock you ‘ any day of the week! On the plus side you couldn’t get any closer to the basketball action if you tried, it had a real intimate feel about it and I’m sure I got splashed by some player’s sweat (I’d like to think it belonged to Tony Windless) though on hindsight it was probably my own, a symptom of alcohol withdrawal no doubt… Another bonus is the entrance for the Players and supporters are the same so it was an easy mistake to make going into the players changing room, I thought it was the ladies toilet, honestly. Ah I‘m kidding though it has given me ideas for next time… As for the game, it was of a poor standard it has to be said. Both teams started slowly and it never really picked up. The only saving grace was it was anybody’s game right up to the final minute but alas the Lions just edged it in the end. What was really eerie for me though was seeing so many ex Towers in one place at the same time; it was like watching the Ghost of Christmas past. For the Capitals you had Steve Bucknall (kind of weird seeing him without the girly socks) still strutting around very manly. Then lining up for the lions were Ronnie Baker, Tony Windless and Robert Youngblood. All great Towers players back in the day and it just got me reminiscing about old times and left me a bit sad that I was sitting a school gym without even alcohol for comfort. Having said all that I’ll still come back for another helping, though I’ll be better prepared next time, I’ll have vodka in my water bottle and a pair of earmuffs to keep out the cold (and the music). And finally back to the real reason I went to the game, to check out the talent and I’m sorry to say I’m disappointed. No one rocked my boat from the Capitals either from a playing point of view or in the looks department. I feel like I’ve let the side down but don’t worry Bada I’m willing to persevere. So for now it looks like there will be no stalking jaunts on a Saturday night for me then, damn.. Oh and I noticed Lynard’s doing a video blog for Badaball, I think it’s great that players are interacting more with the supporters and giving us their point of view. I’m all for it, it’s just a shame my speakers don’t work so I can't actually hear a word he’s saying. Luckily I’m happy to just watch and stare so can’t complain. My eyes often glaze over when men speak anyway, only joking, well sort of… Actually I’ve got a question for Bada to put to Lynard: ‘Lynard when you played for the Towers did you ever feel like you were being followed or watched whilst out in the streets of South London??’ Just curious that’s all, like to know whether my stalking techniques need brushing up…. So apart from basketball I’ve been really busy with my reality TV viewing schedule, it’s jam-packed. I’m loving Xfactor, Strictly Come Dancing and I’m a Celebrity. Especially happy to see the two Geordie chappies back on telly, they make me laugh so much. Oh and Janice hands off Dec he’s mine! Other than that I’m just preparing myself for the festive season. Hopefully I’ll stay sober enough to write another blog before the year is out so I’ll talk to you all again soon. And last but not least, like everybody I’m genuinely sorry to hear about Brian Dux so I send best wishes to his family and hope for a full and speedy recovery. |
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8:50 AM Jul 11