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TNA Needs Mr. Spock; A Commentary by Lance Storm
Topic Started: Oct 26 2006, 05:37 PM (116 Views)
Stinger
The Admin is Here!
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I’m going to go on a bit of a rant today because I’m about to lose my mind and I need to vent. Before I get into this I want to point out that I very much want TNA to succeed, I am a huge supporter and fan of most of the guys who work there. None of the comments that follow are meant to belittle their talent or work ethic. I think TNA has so many talented people, which I think is the root of my frustration and anger. There is so much potential and talent in this company yet every time I watch Impact, read a PPV report, or what have you, I find myself more frustrated and bewildered than entertained.

This is why this week’s commentary is titles TNA needs Mr. Spock. I have no idea if Leonard Nimoy likes wrestling, or even knows jack shit about it but I’m beginning to think he could do a better job of booking this show, than those currently doing so because at least Spock would bring logic to the table when booking. I know booking a weekly show and trying to drive monthly PPV buys isn’t easy but there is so much stuff going on that makes no sense what so ever.

FOR EXAMPLE:

The Booby Roode hottest free agent gimmick after disbanding Team Canada was a good idea, but thus far has made no sense what so ever. Let me start by saying I’m a big fan of Roode’s work. He was one of the first guys I noticed when I first started watching TNA on Spike. Team Canada gets disbanded and Bobby Roode is labeled the hottest free agent in TNA. Great. He then starts interviewing managers because everyone wants to represent him. Again, great. This creates a nice pop for TV getting to see the great managers from the past and shows that the Industry is hot for Bobby Roode. Then at last months PPV they proceed to book him in the Pre-Show (Dark) Match. If Roode is a hot commodity why can’t he get booked on the PPV? If you don’t have a place for him on the PPV, LEAVE HIM THE HELL OFF THE SHOW! At least if he’s left off fans can surmise that he is so busy interviewing managers that he is not taking bookings until he has confirmed his representation. Booking him in the pre-show makes him look like an under card guy!

Now the best part: After interviewing almost every great manager in the history of the business he hires Traci. What a let down. Again this is not to slight her but how she has been portrayed thus far on TV. The last I recall seeing Traci she was the girl who went to the ring with Matt Bentley and bounced. Her claim to fame was that she bounced her boobies, and she managed a guy who for the most part lost mid-card matches. If this isn’t bad enough he announces that he’s signed with his new manager and will debut her on the PPV and guess what. They aren’t on the PPV they are again on the pre-show. I guess that’s what happens when you sign with the girl who bounces. He got to choose any manger he wanted and he signed with one who could not get him booked on PPV. If that isn’t bad enough EVERY SINGLE other ‘wrestling’ member of Team Canada got booked on the PPV, including the one who got fired 2 weeks previous. That’s right the guy who lost a loser gets fired match, and was fired from the company got booked on PPV over the “Hottest Free Agent in Wrestling”. That is one sweet manager he’s got there!!!

Speaking of Eric Young, last weeks Impact drove me nuts. Eric lost a Loser get fired match, and appears on the show 1 or 2 weeks later (I cant’ remember if it was 1 or 2 weeks). I know he was just wandering around outside but still; HE’S ON THE F’N SHOW. I just finished reading The Death of WCW, and one of the things that killed WCW was booking over stipulated matches and the continued non-honouring of those stipulations. Why are fans going to give a shit about stipulation matches if they are NEVER honoured? To make matters worse, if that is in fact possible, while poor Eric is in the parking lot, JB informs him that he is booked on the PPV against Larry Zybisco. Young is of course shocked by this news because apparently TNA books guys who don’t work for the company (remember HE WAS FIRED!) in PPV matches without even contacting them to inform them of their interest in booking them again. This was 3 days before the PPV and NO ONE from TNA called Eric Young to tell him they booked him for the PPV. What would TNA have done if Eric hadn’t “inadvertently” found out he had a PPV match?

I also just finished reading a spoiler from the latest Impact TV Tapings and I cant’ make any sense what so ever of what I read. Apparently they are doing a #1 Contenders tournament to see who gets the next title shot at Sting. Isn’t this what win lose records are for? Isn’t there a Championship committee or at least someone in TNA Management (we hear so damn much about them) who ranks people in the company? You have Joe who is Unpinned and Unsubmitted, not to mention he’s been running around with the title belt for a few weeks. You have Christian who again is Unpinned, Unsubmitted and was never really beat for the title when he last held it. There is also “Arguably the greatest wrestler alive today” Kurt Angle in the company, not to mention the former champion who should be deserving of a rematch. With all these worthy contenders at their disposal TNA management couldn’t narrow it down closer than 18 people and had to have the most non-sensical match I’ve ever heard of, to set up a tournament.

The match is a reverse Battle Royal, where guys have to try to get into the ring. Once 7 guys manage that it’s now a regular Battle Royal and those 7 have to throw each other out. (The order determines the bracketing) When you get down to the last 2 they have a regular match and the winner gets a bye in the tournament. Can someone explain to me why they thought it necessary for someone to get a bye in the tournament and thus make this match even more confusing? Don’t answer that, it was rhetorical. If this isn’t good enough neither Kurt Angle or Joe were in the match and thus for some reason not considered top 18 talent in TNA (keep in mind that Frankie Kazarian and Lance Hoyt are in the match so they must be ranked higher than Joe or Angle).

I could go on but I think you get my point. Creative direction in TNA is atrocious, and while I admit booking isn’t an easy job it isn’t rocket science either. To make matters worse they actually have a guy in the company who has a strong track record in booking solid wrestling television. TNA employs Jim Cornette, who booked OVW, SMW, and contributed creatively in WCW for a number of years (the years that tended to make the most sense I might add). I am not even a full-blown Cornette supporter. We had creative disagreements while we worked together in OVW and I also disagreed with some of what he did in SMW when I worked for him. Jim Cornette is, in my opinion, a little old school and not overly innovative, but his shows make sense, you never have to ask WHY, and matches and titles feel important. That is what wrestling is all about. Give me some wrestlers I can care about, make me believe they don’t like each other, and then book them in a match so I can see them fight. When you want someone to build you a cart that rolls, you don’t always need someone with ground breaking innovative ideas, you need someone smart enough to put 4 F’N wheels on the damn thing so it rolls.

That’s my rant for this week,
Lance Storm


And every single bit of that is true... it's damn true.
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Jules
Bad Mofo'
Global Moderator
Isn't Spock gay now?

I remember watching the Shatner roast and just being blown away by the sheer gay-osity of him.. No offense to gay people or anything but this guy was letting off a literal forcefield.

But other than that, yeah, I agree with Lance.
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Q-BZ

Admin
Couldn't agree with Lance more.

Mr. Spock means "logic": The exact opposite of everything TNA or TNA related.
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The Sandman
2007 ACC Champions
Global Moderator
I can see I'm STILL not missing anything. Is Lance still working for WWE in some capacity?
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Jules
Bad Mofo'
Global Moderator
Actually I was wrong, it was Sulu who was gay, not Spock.

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Q-BZ

Admin
Jules
Oct 28 2006, 06:42 PM
Actually I was wrong, it was Sulu who was gay, not Spock.


True.


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dawsey28
Ariel's chattel
Quote:
 
RussoRiffic
February 2, 2007

I know I do this a lot but I am about to go on another TNA rant. I didn’t want to but I got so worked up and angry after watching this week’s show I had to get this off my chest. I can however promise that this will be my last TNA rant for a while because I am now officially boycotting TNA until Vince Russo is removed from the creative process. How a company with such an amazingly talented locker room can produce such an unwatchable show is beyond me. Actually it isn’t beyond me I watched Vince Russo do it in WCW. There is an old expression: “Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” Someone needs to explain the history of WCW to Dixie Carter.

I have come to the conclusion that TNA is to Wrestling, what Scary Movie is to Horror Films. It has become a comedic spoof of a wrestling show. No sane rational person would act the way people do in TNA. Chris Sabin in an effort to make fun of Jerry Lynn’s age shows up in a bathrobe, using a walker, and wearing depends. Is he six? Who would do this? It felt like a bugs bunny cartoon. Why would Jerry be mad that Sabin is making himself look like an idiot?

Ron Killings stuff looked like a bad SNL skit. He said he was going Hollywood and going to be a big star so we now get to see him doing bad movie trailer spoofs. What is meant to be accomplished by this?

Counting Cornette and valets there were 39 people on this Freakin show. How are we supposed to remember any of it? What purpose did Bob Backlund serve? Why is Sonjay Dutt now posing? Has Big Kev convinced him that he is on the gas?

The LAX thing was beyond unbelievable.
Mike Tenay is handed video footage of a horrific violent crime against innocent people he decides to:
A: Report said violent crime to police and hand over the video evidence.
B: Air the footage and act disgusted and mad.

After having close family members viscously attacked and assaulted, Team 3D:
A: Reports said violent crime to police sending the people who assaulted their family to prison.
B: Become so enraged that they track LAX down immediately seeking revenge.
C: Sends D-von to the weekly TV show to vow revenge next week.

Are we to believe that Sting now has magical powers, since he disappeared out of the back of the ambulance leaving only his “trade marked” baseball bat behind? That tiny cage behind James Mitchell during his promo, does the prison yard match take place inside that tiny thing? What was the point, was that incase we didn’t understand the concept of jail?

There were three matches on the show. All of them had outside interference and brawling after the match. We got a total of maybe 10 minutes of match time on the entire show, and they didn’t even bother to announce the result of the main event. Do finishes not matter? Doesn’t anyone care who won? I used to. To plug a PPV caliber main event then deliver a 3 minutes match with no finish is asinine. If that is a PPV caliber match I will never order a PPV. It is also insane considering the PPV caliber Main Event match that Edge and HBK delivered on RAW just over a week ago.

The show is called Total Non-Stop Action yet we get almost no action and when we do get some it is over shadowed by endless run ins, outside interference, and non-finishes. I am officially at wits end and will not watch another TNA show until they replace Vince Russo. Hopefully this will happen before TNA goes out of business, because if they do Vince McMahon will just end up with another video library and we will have to see all this nonsense again on 24/7.

Lance Storm


new Lance Storm rant

EDIT* My bad, I see that this "rant" has been posted elsewhere. I agree with most of what he said.
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Q-BZ

Admin
Lance is almost as logical as Spock. Maybe he should run the thing. I know he'd do a hell of a better job vs. what's going on now.
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