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zombie attack survival; are you ready?
Topic Started: Nov 25 2007, 03:02 PM (424 Views)
Jeffrywith1e
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When zombies attack
Is Lansing prepared for an attack from the undead? Are you?
Christian Czerwinski

Imagine waking up tomorrow, switching on the news and hearing the anchor say that Lansing -- or even the world -- is being overrun with brain-eating zombies. No, we're not talking about the Halloween variety. The real deal.

That means you won't be stopping at QD for that doughnut on the way to work. In fact, you probably won't be going to work ever again - well, unless your current job involves splitting zombie skulls.

Forget filling out reports, you're probably going to spend your days either running away like a wuss or going toe-to-toe with reanimated mounds of flesh.
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Do you know where your crowbar is?

If your best buddy, your neighbor or your mail carrier came lurching toward you with a soulless look in their eyes, would you have what it takes to ice them?

If the zombies attacked today, would you be ready? Would Lansing?

Prepared for an invasion

Lansing police and fire crews say they're ready for any attack on our fine city. Officials said Lansing wouldn't be taken by surprise and in a few hours could be armed to the teeth.

"We have been doing mock disasters and cross training for several years," said Lansing Police Lt. Bruce Ferguson.

"People can feel confident, if zombies start invading, we'll know how to close the streets. We can get chainsaws too.

"If a swarm comes in on I-496 westbound, we'll block off the exits so they miss the city."

City officials would not say if they've run zombie-attack scenarios. Mayor Virg Bernero could not be reached for comment.

If the undead did attack, you'd have three options: come up with a detailed escape plan; cower in your basement and wait for help to come; or head out to the nearest store, buy a machete and .357 magnum, steal an SUV and start cracking craniums.

Lansing resident Jen Wagner, 23, who says she's a "pretty good shot," said she'd probably go with the third option and spend her time putting bullets in brains.

Despite their claims, Wagner has no confidence in city or state officials protecting her brain from being devoured by some undead vagrant.

"Gauging how the Legislature had problems putting together a budget, they probably can't put together a plan to fight zombies," she said.

Getting ready for the big one

When the brain-hungry hordes come, you need to live by one rule: always be thinking.

Max Brooks, author of "The Zombie Survival Guide" (and son of filmmaker Mel Brooks and the late actress Anne Bancroft), said you're never really safe.

"You're not safe, you're just safer. You don't want to pick up your feet and pop a cool one," he said.

"Use your head; cut off theirs."

Brooks said it's wise to have a plan in place or you're probably as good as dead.

Plan "A" includes not being a pro-active zombie killer ... at first.

"Law enforcement will be the last to know, so you don't want to go out and start putting down zombies. You don't want a cop to come up to you standing in a pile of corpses with severed heads. Then you have to convince him that you're standing in a pile of zombies," Brooks said.

Where to turn

With the dead stinking up the place and lumbering down the streets in their tattered clothes, Lansing will activate the Emergency Operations Center or EOC, to serve as a central location for direction and control of the incident.

That means there would be instructions on the radio and TV.

If that didn't work, the police would drive around neighborhoods (provided the cops haven't been eaten yet) blaring instructions on a loudspeaker.

Although you might not be able to stop the first zombie onslaught, you can prevent some of the outcomes, said Trent Atkins, Lansing's emergency management chief.

"We would bring the seat of government and other agencies together to review the situation and make decisions of our tactics and strategies and what the long-term goals would be for full recovery," he said.

Atkins estimates the National Guard could respond within a few hours, and federal troops could be on hand within six to eight hours.

Contrary to what you might expect, officials probably wouldn't herd you into a bomb shelter, mainly because someone is bound to scream like an idiot and give away your location.

"We'd probably tell people to shelter in their homes or nearest building with a low point," Atkins said.

Man with a plan

Peter McShane Lewis, 33, of Lansing, has had a zombie attack plan in place for 18 years.

His 18-member group, the Zombie Attack Coalition, (ZAC, for short) is spread around the Michigan and Ohio area and has both short-term and long-term attack plans.

And they're prepared for any variety of zombies, whether they move fast or slow.

Lewis -- who has a cadre of weapons from an AK-47 to various shotguns and handguns -- already has his safe spot picked out if the zombies are runners: the Lansing Wastewater Treatment Plant.

"The wastewater plant is perfect. It has only five employees, (has) caverns underneath and it's easily defended," he said.

If everything deteriorates, 10 members of the group even have a suicide pact.

"If it's fast zombies, it's every man for himself. When they're fast, things go down south fast," he said.

Taking a stand

According to Brooks' book, zombies are a result of a virus called "Solanum," which reanimates the brain of a dead body.

Once everyone is aware of the threat and your neighbor is limping around repeating the word "brains" and trying to eat your uncle with the bum leg, Brooks said you shouldn't panic but be prepared to survive.

"Your best defense against zombies is to get up to the second floor and destroy the staircase. You can always jump from the second floor. But don't expect help to arrive. Standing on a rooftop holding a sign is not going to do much if history has taught us anything," he said.

Second order of business: don't try to play the hero and go around shooting the undead.

All you need is a good machete anyway, Brooks said.

"You don't want to be a gun-toting yahoo, but we need those," Brooks said. "We need the yahoos because they'll keep the zombies busy while we flee. When the dead rise, I'll be fleeing while Ted Nugent keeps them busy."

Sarah Cruz, 22, of Lansing doesn't have a plan yet, but plans on taking up arms and smoking as many ghouls as she can.

She's just not down for living in a city reeking of funky zombies.

"I'd shoot them in the head and pretty much take all my angst out," she said while making the devil horns sign with her hand.

So what else can you do to prepare?

You can lobby.

Brooks urges Michigan residents to write their congressional reps to get back the state's manufacturing base.

"In a zombie outbreak, we can switch from cars to tanks overnight," he said.

"We're not gonna be in good shape if we sell each other hamburgers. A generation ago, GM workers would come out swinging."

More questions with zombie expert Max Brooks

Q. If your friend gets bitten, should you just kill them right away?
A. It depends on how much you like them and if they’re still useful until they die and turn. You probably want to take them out ASAP or send them on a dangerous mission so that way you’re not a murderer; you’re just letting them go first.

Q. How long before you can come out of hiding after a zombie attack?
A. It’s gonna be a long time. You better find a quiet spot in the Arctic and make your compound. Choose your group well. Unlike movies, the A-hole doesn’t always die.

Q. If you’re bitten, do you just kill yourself?
A. Do yourself a service or depending on your beliefs, just handcuff yourself to a radiator.

Q. What are the signs you’ve been infected?
A. A bite is a red flag. Despite what you see on Fox News, you can’t get the virus from a toilet seat or the air. You could get it from an open-mouthed kiss, but if you’re kissing a zombie, you have bigger problems.

Q. If you have you a lot of firepower, will you survive?
A. We have firepower but it’s a question of having enough. It has always solved our problems. We won Vietnam, we are winning now overseas (in Iraq) and it really helped against Katrina.
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you see there are three things that spur the mollusk from the sand
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Nimrod
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First: secure your house if at all possible. grab nails/screws and use boards from your garage, porch, railings, etc and Board UP your Windows & external doors. live on the roof only if you have to!

Next: organize some weaponry. Spears would be perfect to use (not thrown), bows if ya got them, and whatever long hand-held weapons you can use. Try not to use any firearms (except maybe a .22) since the noise will bring more zombies.

Next: have an escape plan to get out of the house. A ladder from the roof, or a quick escape from a basement window would work well if there is a distraction on the other side of your house.

Next: gather supplies! Whatever vitamins, water from hot water heaters, salt from water softeners, ALL dried foodstuffs (flour, oats, ramen, mac & cheese), you can get your hands on GATHER IT ALL. [For prolonged sieges cut holes 'high up' in your external walls and pull your gutters into the house to collect rain sleet snow.] Gather your supplies, parcel them out to all folks in the house, arrange backpacks & camping gear so IF you have to run you can survive out in the wilderness.

Finally: pick a very secure destination to retreat to, OR go to if it seems possible. Malls, water towers, parking ramps, drug stores, office buildings, caves, islands, etc are all good choices! Pick somewhere that has enough fresh water to use, and the possibility of surviving a winter.


Stay QUIET & wait for winter...
"If you’re not outraged, then you aren’t paying attention!" -- 2009 --
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Nimrod
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:::What you need to survive in an apocolyptic scenario:::

~Guns & Ammo~

This is the most important! ANYTHING you gather to survive will be taken from you, and your family,
in a flash if you do not have guns to defend yourself. You NEED guns to defend your very life, and
the lives of those you care for.
You will need guns to hunt game. For food sources Carbs are FAR easier to get than protien/fat.
LEARN TO SHOOT AND CARE FOR YOUR GUNS

Reloading/Gunsmithing/Cleaning Kits - the reason to get these is obvious (and get PRIMERS/POWDER)

.22 or .22mag rifle - this you will need to hunt small game (even a small deer with the .22mag!) and
the rounds are very small and you can carry A LOT and they are cheap. Get a sling and a Scope, & you are set.
The scope can also be used instead of binoculars.
-and-
.357 or .44mag revolver - this is more of a personal choice to be used to hunt larger game, and for fast quick
personal defense.
-and-
12ga or 20ga shotgun - try to pick one with a long barrell. This will be to hunt flying birds with shot, to
bring down the largest game with slugs, and for home defense. If you run out of lead for making bullets you
can fill the shells with just about anything for defense.

~Water~

Plan to 'hole up' in your house (explained below). You must buy materials, and plan for, having your gutters
run into your house through your walls. In minnesota the average yearly precipitation landing on your
roof should be enough to wash AND feed 24 people all year!
Your plumbing in your house, the hot water heaters, bottled beverages, and the water in your softener setup
combined should give you enough water for a month at least for your family.
Kids wading pools, stopped up sinks/tubs, buckets, plastic storage bins, plastic bags, garbage bags,
& empty bottles can ALL be used to store water.
Bring your water to a full boil at least twice to sterilize
it for drinking. This should be done weekly.
Water filters on your faucets, water filter pitchers, cloth for straining, and even camping water filters can ALL
be used as well.

~Clothing & Shelter~
Always have some rolls of duct tape handy, along with plastic sheets (or window plastic), to SEAL windows/doors/vents/walls
in a hurry if there is a gas/dust/smoke/insect problem.
Everyone should 'hole up' in their house IF THEY HAVE PREPARED.
Examine all the windows, doors, & skylights in your home.
Now figure the square footage of lumber you will need to cover ALL of them leaving 1-2' extra around the edges. On
your property should be ALL the materials you need! Look at your kid's playsets, porches, decks, gazebos, sheds, tables,
chairs, bookcases, furniture, shelves, counters, etc, etc, etc... Now you will begin to plan what will be 'screwed into place & where' to
barricade your home. Find out where your studs are. Figure out how many 4+" screws you will need. PLAN PLAN PLAN
Buy the screws, or know where you can salvage them from on your property. Always have your cordless drills charged! Only use
nails to quickly hold the lumber in place since SCREWS ARE MUCH STRONGER. I have even pondered what metal sheets (signs,
garbage cans, etc) are in the neighborhood that I can screw onto the inside of my barricades.
Buy at least one camping tent! This can be used in your home to keep out pests, help keep you warm in winter, it can be used
outside for obvious reasons, AND you could even have your lookout sleep in it on the roof.
Always have tarps, sheets, ropes, cords, and plastic laying around that could be used as quick shelters.
LEARN HOW TO SEW!
Clothing should be no big deal since almost everyone has more than they need. Just have two full outfits for winter
camping that can be shed in layers as it gets warmer. BIGGER is always better!
Learn how to tan hides!

~Warmth/Shade~
Shade.
Make sure you always know where you can get some cool shade (basement?) if you have to.
Warmth.
MAKE SURE YOU HAVE LOTS OF CANDELS, MATCHES, & LIGHTERS.
If you want to get crazy buy a very small cast iron franklin wood burning stove. Remember to get the FULLY INSULATED
chimney sections that you can assemble quickly to get the smoke out of your house.
Remember that you will be competing for wood with your neigbors so see GUNS above.
I have a very small, light, single-burner camping stove that burns kerosene, white gas, diesel, gasoline, and even oil.
I try to not let my vehicles get below half full for gas, and with the gasoline in all my equipment I should have enough warmth
for several winters. Always have an extra full container of propane laying around. Remember that you could always pull your
grill inside to use one burner at the lowest setting for added warmth when it is coldest.
You could cut a hole in the top of your cooking stove for smoke to go out your vent, so you could even have a small wood fire
right in your kitchen.
Warmth.
In minnesota this should never be taken too lightly. Pick a basement room in your house with the least windows, towards
the center of the house if possible, and turn it into your bedroom. Put rugs/carpeting as deep as possible across your floor, lay down at least one
mattress, and set up your tent on top of the mattress in the center of the room. If you have chosen a large enough tent all of your family
should be able to comfortably sleep together in it. With blankets & sleeping bags & body heat you should be perfectly fine down to 30
degrees F. For colder temps put a steel cooking pot in the center of the tent and light a candle in it. This should keep you warm down to
10 degrees F.
A Candle could also be used to boil water for drinking, cooking, humidity, etc.

For when it is even colder, or for cooking a main meal, use the grill or a camping stove or just burn something.

~Food~
Start buying far more food than you need. ESPECIALLY the non-perishable food items.
Look at the expiration dates on ALL your food. Figure out how often you eat these food items.
NOW buy extra food such that your eating schedule will have you eating food just before it should expire.
THEREFORE you have built up a food surplus to help get you through a crisis!!!
Always keep your water softener FULL of salt. This salt could be used for MANY purposes for many years.
Study your families consumption of vitamins, and purchase a massive surplus such that each month
you might be finishing some expired vitamins. VITAMINS will be one of the hardest things to get in
a survival scenario. (Personally I try to stock up on a surplus of instant coffee & tea, also)
I buy the cheapest, largest, bags of dried rice. I pour the rice into a garbage bag with some salt.
I put this bag into another (trying to remove all the air). and finally this all goes into a sealable bucket.
I figure my family will have enough food reserves for 5-6 months including what is in the freezer, fridge, & cupboards.
Look around your area and figure out where the fruit trees, crops, and berry bushes are. In my yard I have 2 apple trees,
2 cherry trees, and we are surrounded by cornfields.
Learn how to fish. Netting fish is the easiest.
Learn how to hunt. Learn how to trap and set snares (with piano wire) for small game.
I plan to live trap some rabbits, and lock them in my gazebo. These I can feed from my fruit trees, and let them breed...
like rabbits!
If you want to really be prepared plant some berrie bushes around (in MN Blueberry, Raspberry, & Rosehips are best), and you could even start
a garden with carrots, rhubbarb, onions, & Potatoes.
You will want a roll of chicken wire around to make a cage for critters, could be used to net fish, protect a garden, plug a window,
or make a rabbit hutch.
Always remember to throw some rice into water each morning. Even WITHOUT heat the rice should soften up to be eaten.
Between growing, hunting, gathering, fishing, trapping, snaring, & scavenging your family should do OK with enough water,
vitamins, & salt.
Learn how to 'Can' goods, salt meat, make jerky, and dry/preserve foodstuffs!

~Waste~
Dig a very deep hole far 'out back'. Leave all your waste in a waste bucket you will pour out into the hole.

~Running~
Plan to run away. If it appears like anyone is even thinking about burning your house down just run away. ALWAYS plan for
running away. Plan the escape routes out of your house. Plan the stealthy, & quick, ways to move through, and out of, your area.
Have a compass, maps, & binoculars handy. Plan, prepare, and think about:
1) getting out of your house FAST,
2) Leaving your area quickly & stealthily,
3) Where to hide in your house, yard, neighborhood, & area,
4) Where do you eventually want to get to, &
5) where to head to in your first day of running.
LIVE OUT OF YOUR BACKPACK. I know you will be holed up in your house. But live out of your backpacks anyhow. You want to be able to run out of your
house in less than 5 minutes with everything you need to survive indefinitely, day or night, rain or shine, winter or summer.
Have bicycles, wheelbarrows, or strollers handy to move your kids FAST!

~Etc~
Always have lengths of surgical tubing around for tournquets, slingshots, snorkel, & even syphoning gas!
Do not feed anyone but your spouse & kids - Anyone can prepare like you have, and feeding them means your kids have a greater chance of dying.
If you care for, trust, or find someone useful feel free to let them share your shelter & resources, BUT they MUST feed themselves.
Form groups in your area/neighborhood to watch each other & help each other. And learn to communicate through signs & sounds.
If your have walky talkys give one to a close neighbor, BUT turn it off to save power. Flash a light to let your neighbor know to turn it on.
Keep a shortwave radio handy.
Figure out how to fire-harden a spear, & make bows/arrows.
Stockpile batteries, and keep around a bunch of flashlights.
Learn to hand-to-hand fight with fists, knives, clubs - learn how to attack or defend against wild animals.
A few cans of mace around can help against any wild animal.
Have whistles around to help in communications.
Mirrors are great for 'flash communicating', and helping magnify a light source.
Have books around on what local plants, herbs, & crops can be eaten & how to prepare them.
FINS can help you move around in water VERY quickly.
Have some lifevests around.
LEARN TO SWIM

:::What to Own:::
GUNS, AMMO, & KITS,
Wading Pool, Gutters, Duct Tape, Buckets, Garbage cans, & Tarps,
Sleeping Bags,
Tent(s),
Screws,
Cordless drill (extra battery?),
Hammer, saw, screw driver, axe, hatchet, etc,
Warm Clothes,
Camping Stove,
Gasoline & extra Propane Tank (if you have a grill)
Candles (at least 100)
hundreds of MATCHES, and AT LEAST 40 Lighters (can add flint & steel if you are a freak)
MEDICAL KIT
Piano Wire, Chicken Wire, & Surgical Tubing.
SEWING KIT
CAMPING GEAR
Backpacking Backpack
Rice & Beans
Vitamins & Medicine
Fish Netting, & fishing gear

:::Last Thoughts:::

SERIOUSLY! If you have some minimal camping gear, all you really NEED to do is stockpile very cheap bags of rice!
Survive & sacrifice for your kids survival (hope they return the favor) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"If you’re not outraged, then you aren’t paying attention!" -- 2009 --
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JoshFormerRoomie
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Didn't these damned, dirty zombies involve themselves in a pub crawl in Minneapolis over the weekend?
"Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable."

-John Kenneth Galbraith
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Nimrod
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More real survival shyte!


http://www.silverbearcafe.com/private/10.08/tshtf1.html
"If you’re not outraged, then you aren’t paying attention!" -- 2009 --
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Nimrod
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The above was a disturbing account of what happened in Argentina, and what one Argentinan is doing to plan for survival...


"Editor's note: the article that follows is a very sobering account of the effect that the collapse of the Argentine economy (1999 - 2002) had on its citizens, as seen through the eyes of one of them. The economic collapse wiped out the middle class and raised the level of poverty to 57.5%"

"After all these years I learned that even though the person that lives out in the country is safer when it comes to small time robberies, that same person is more exposed to extremely violent home robberies. Criminals know that they are isolated and their feeling of invulnerability is boosted. When they assault a country home or farm, they will usually stay there for hours or days torturing the owners. I heard it all: women and children getting raped, people tied to the beds and tortured with electricity, beatings, burned with acetylene torches."
"If you’re not outraged, then you aren’t paying attention!" -- 2009 --
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