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An Eagle’s Wonder, of Badgers and Lions; >Tag< Logan
Topic Started: Jul 24 2006, 09:50 PM (388 Views)
Kasim Zabini
Member Avatar
No, Nobody Wants Him
Ravenclaw Student
Kasim found himself leaning against the outer courtyard wall, taking a long drag from his cigarette. Some poor girl was running off in tears now because of him and the twisted games he liked to play. She had been his first project this year and it only lasted just two days. Some no-name girl from Hufflepuff, and she had been so infatuated with him. They were always the easiest to sway into thinking he’d changed his ways. Ah, but what a wicked web he weaved, toying with the emotions of girls who if he dared to get to know, might not irk him as much as he thought. It didn’t matter now, she hated him and that was that. Soon he’d find more interesting prospects that would create more of a game. Perhaps two weeks, maybe three. In any event he’d move on and leave her in his dust, never noticing her again, never taking a second look. It’d been this way since his fourth year and he was actually beginning to grow tired. Tired of the too quick “I love you” moments that he was expected to respond to. What he wanted, no, what he needed was someone all but immune to his typical whims of wooing.

Ah, but was there a member of the entire female populous of Hogwarts that could be so uneasily wooed? Kasim knew the answer was yes. Two in fact that he could think of off the top of his head. Rhoswen Weasley, the one girl that he’d gone out with and never did anything to brag about, and Cordee Nott, perfection in a bottle no matter how bitchy she acted. If you removed the two of them from the equation he moved through girls faster than candy on a lonely night. If by candy you meant drugs, cigarettes, and alcoholic beverages that would knock most of the professors on their overlarge asses. No, the game was growing far too dull. There were always the younger years, but he insisted on never messing with anyone in their third year or below. That was just wrong, far too close to cradle robbing.

Time and time again he found himself at this crossroads. The one where he could choose to grow a head, other than his penis, and a brain to match it. A time when he could make the decision to stop torturing young girls and forcing them to form cynical opinions of the opposite sex. This should be when he would opt to grow up and behave more his age. But seeing the tears running down their faces, watching the exact moments their hopes of changing the Hogwarts heartbreaker to see the error of his ways and change for them and them alone. Perhaps they all fantasized of him falling wildly in love with them. Blindly overlooking their many faults and idiosyncrasies. Desires and delusions that were wasted on his nonchalant playboy attitude and could be better spent on far more realistic dreams.

But who were they all kidding?

He was far too selfish, and far too cold to ever stop being so cruel. Pity, for he so wanted to.

Each year this is what happened, he wallowed in self pity, taking it out on some poor, fragile, unsuspecting soul. Everything he touched turned to dust beneath his fingers and while he was certain none of them could ever forgive him, a part of him wanted to make amends. Not because he was truly sorry, but for reasons he couldn’t explain. He couldn’t think about that now, crushing his finished cigarette beneath his boot, he turned toward the sounds of approaching footsteps and smiled at who stepped out of the shadows. “Look what the cat dragged in,” he said, a wicked grin upon his face. Seeing Logan standing before him a smirk crossed his face. Maybe the highlight of his evening wouldn’t be the Hufflepuff? “Were you looking for me,” he asked, his voice deep and sultry.
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Logan Minas
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l i q u i d c.o.c.a.i.n.e.
Gryffindor Student
Logan crumpled up the parchment in her hand rolling her eyes, what was the use? She couldn’t concentrate on anything that had something to do with school work. Grasping her quill in her hand she flipped it between her fingers, what she needed, was one of her friends to come rescue her from school work with a big adventure. Logan glanced around the common room, that just wasn’t going to happen anytime in the near future. Sighing she dropped her chin into her hand, pouting. She opened a fresh scroll of parchment determined to finish what she’d begun, preparing to write she stopped short, what was she going to say? Her mind was blank. . . Think, think, think, she coaxed herself. But nothing came, and she found herself doodling once more. Elle began to draw something, she was sure she’d seen it before, but where? Her hand moved quickly as she curved lines into waves crashing into a beach shore. Where had she seen this image before?

Logan set down her quill, moments later, and looked down at what she’d done. An image of waves rolling in towards a bay beach. Logan bit her lip hard, what was with her lately? Shaking her head she pushed the image between a page in her textbook trying her best to forget about what she’d just done almost unconsciously. Pushing the textbooks off the end of the couch she waited for the echoing boom of them hitting the floor, after successfully disturbing anyone trying to do work in the Gryffindor common room she smirked with an apologetic wave, “Ah, sorry guys,” she said laughing under her breath as she quickly grabbed the textbooks. There was no way school work was going to happen tonight.

Logan weighed the options in her mind, she could grab something to eat? Walk around and try to find Viv or Dido? Maybe head down to the library- she almost laughed out loud. No, she didn’t feel much like company tonight, she needed some peace and quiet, and somewhere to relax for a bit. Grabbing her wand and shoving it in her back pocket she tucked her long dark hair behind her ears, was she missing something? Looking down to her feet she rolled her eyes- shoes, right. Logan had a tendency to forget things, like shoes, or doing her homework, or what day it was, or people’s names. It was getting to be quite a problem really.

Heading outside Elle hadn’t really thought of where she was going, she was just walking. But she heard something, like sobbing. Raising an eyebrow she turned the corner to find a young Hufflepuff with her head in her arms.

I hate him, I hate him.

Logan was going to comfort her but the girl looked up with puffy eyes, and then ran off the sight of Logan. “Alright?” Logan said slightly confused, but mostly indifferent. Looking across the courtyard she caught sight of someone she recognized immediately, and most likely the source of the girl’s tears. Zabini. Elle took a deep breath walking towards him, eyeing him slightly. As she neared him he looked up at her, Look what the cat dragged in. Were you looking for me?

Elle grinned, “Don’t you mean look what the cat dragged out there bud? C’mon Zabini those cigarettes must be getting to your brain,” she joked with a small laugh glancing down at the cigarette butt on the ground. Logan set a hand on her hip.
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Kasim Zabini
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No, Nobody Wants Him
Ravenclaw Student
Damn, this always happened when she was around, already he was aching for another cigarette. Putting one to his lips he lit it with his Zippo and took a deep drag off it, blowing the smoke ever so defiantly in Logan’s direction. Smirking he reassumed his earlier position of leaning casually against the wall. While she made him smoke more often than normal, she was at least mildly entertaining to watch, given the fact that she wasn’t exactly offensive in the face region. Regardless though, her attempt to be alluring, coy, sophisticated or whatever the hell she was trying to be at this given moment made him want to do something tantamount to rolling his eyes at her. Obviously she had better things to do other than come down, stalk him, and tell him how he was going to be getting cancer soon, but procrastination ran rampant around the school like smallpox had in the Americas when the Brits tried to assimilate the Indians. Puff. Puff. Ah, the powers of nicotine, far surpassing the supposed orgasmic abilities of cheese. Something to do with the moon if he remembered that bloody commercial correctly. Bad mistake wandering into Muggle London and watching one of their stupid telly shows. Here he was, his mind running away with him, he almost missed her response.

Don’t you mean look what the cat dragged out there bud? C’mon Zabini those cigarettes must be getting to your brain.

Oh, he was scared. Sarcasm. Ouch-how it burned! He’d need ice at the rate this was going, if only to numb his brain. How many times must people comment on the fact that he was a smoker? It was growing far too redundant for his tastes and those weren’t exactly permeable. After all, look back on some of the girls he’d gone for in the past and well, it was a bloody record at how many dogs he’d stopped to wooing when the populous of Hogwarts was filled with at least mildly attractive girls. Roughly annoyed, he planted something of a s*** eating smirk-apart from grin-on his face and zipped up the hoodie he donned along with jeans, sneakers and a tank top. Somewhere underneath of the mess rest a pair of sponge bob boxers that some Muggle girl he’d fooled around with over the summer so thoughtfully gave him when he told her he was off to join the Peace Core or whatever the hell it was. She had seemed so happy when she gave them to him that he decided to wear them-even if he didn’t have the faintest idea who that little rectangular prismed yellow guy, with a nose like a peace pipe, was.

“Grammar correcting are we? Well riddle me this Minas… This, is the courtyard as I’m certain we both very well know. And we are standing in it. Therefore, the cat has dragged you in.” Smart ass table for one please! Okay so he could’ve been more eloquent or not stooped so low as to have gotten into a debate over whether or not they were in or out. Make it work Tim Gunn! Dragging on the cigarette again, he placed his free hand in his pocket, fingering the cool metal of his lighter. It’s weight felt good in his hand, and abandoning his comfortable position against the stone he needed something to make him feel all relaxed. And the only other prospects? Well, it was probably safe to assume that Logan wasn’t into him so much as to help him relax out in the open as they were. Pity, it would be interesting. And being the cocky bastard that he was, he had a feeling it would help assume a certain fantasy she’d probably had about him more than once. He walked around her, toward a smaller stone wall overlooking a hill that led to the lawns. Most people would have to jump to sit there, but being the tall freak that he’d become sometime around puberty, he needn’t even bother standing on tiptoe to reach it comfortably.

Instead of sitting however, he let his body stretch across the length of it, his left leg propped up as the right dangled in front of the wall. Interesting pose for a picture that he’d used once or twice to give to his ‘girlfriends.’ Kasim didn’t believe in girlfriends, it’s why he left that twit Rhoswen he’d dated the year before. He’d just wanted to go against his father and fool around with a Weasley, ignoring the fact that it happened to be his friend’s cousin. However, she hadn’t been interested in what he was offering, regret free beneficial fooling around. After denying him even a kiss he’d up and told her to shove off, going so far as to try to play on her gullible persona just a few days ago, under pretense of helping her manage her new broom. He’d been the sweetest thing under the planet to her, and when she refused him a snog again, he’d told her it was all in good fun, something he just felt she owed him. She’d been livid, he could tell, but she was always prettiest when she was angry.

That didn’t matter now, the Queen with the Golden Touch stood before him and he had something to keep his mind occupied. “You still didn’t answer my earlier question, I’m beginning to think you’re avoiding it for a purpose.” He blew a puff of smoke casually into the air, staring at the clouds that appeared to be threatening rain. “Were you looking for me?” Oh gods, Kasim you’re too good! The tone he’d said that with sounded needy, almost hopeful that she had been. In reality he couldn’t have cared less if he tried, after all, it wouldn’t be the first time some chit came wandering about in search of his fabulous presence, Godly as it was. Now the question was if she would buy it and tell him what he wanted to hear…

He actually hoped that she would.




[ooc: Okay so that took WAY too long, and I’m so sorry!!! I got writers block for this post for some reason, but I forced myself to work on it today and voila, a post I’m happy with! ^^ My next one shouldn’t take so long and I don’t know why this one did, please don’t hate me!!!]
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Logan Minas
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l i q u i d c.o.c.a.i.n.e.
Gryffindor Student
Logan watched him put a cigarette to his lips. Did he actually think it was mildly attractive to kiss an ashtray, or him for that matter? Logan rolled her eyes as he pulled out the lighter lighting up the cancer tube. As he inhaled Logan snorted, this was somewhat amusing, and definitely entertaining. However, as she inhaled he blew a white cloud of smoke in her direction. The smoke managed to enter her nose clouding her lungs, she began to cough. Of course it was somewhat dramatized, but she was getting across the point. Waving the air in front of her she glared towards Zabini. “Please, keep your lung cancer to yourself bud,” Logan said stepping out of the direction. Logan set her hands on her hips eyeing him. Why did he have to be a smoker? She had eyed him up in classes, and now his whole cuteness was fading from her view. She watched him lean against the wall again, sure he looked real damn cute posing like that, but it didn’t take away the fact that he was holding a cigarette in his hand.

Grammar correcting are we? Well riddle me this Minas… This, is the courtyard as I’m certain we both very well know. And we are standing in it. Therefore, the cat has dragged you in.

Logan rolled her eyes at the obvious boy standing in front of her, as he had a lot of growing up to do before he fell into the category of man in Logan’s books. Logan listened to him try to contradict her. “Yes Zabini we are in the courtyard, but I beg to differ, because since when do people say ‘I’m going in the courtyard’, rather then ‘to the courtyard’. Anyways, I could argue with you all day, but that would really just lower my intelligence to your level,” she laughed. Of course she was only kidding, he was probably smarter then her anyhow. She just enjoyed having the opportunity to tease him.

Logan’s head turned watching him walk around her to the stone wall. It was a bit away from her, in talking distance, but it definitely put some space between them. He managed to find his way onto the wall exerting almost no effort, Logan was somewhat jealous. Being a very short 5’1 she would have to hop onto the wall and hope to hell it would catch her. But here all he had to do was sit back. The guy always seemed to pose, no matter what he was doing he looked like he was setting up for a picture. Always looking up, always sitting just right. You still didn’t answer my earlier question, I’m beginning to think you’re avoiding it for a purpose, the question having slipped from Logan’s mind she cocked a curious eyebrow in his direction.

Were you looking for me?

So that’s what he wants to know, if she had come to sought him out. Maybe have a romp in midday light with him. Pfft. Logan laughed in his direction, “I guess you’ll never know Zabini,” she toyed turning her back to him as she walked towards a stone bench. She laid down the length of it her feet propped up. Staring up at the greying sky she turned her head to look at him. “You’d like to think I was… don’t you Zabini.” She asked perking up a bit at the end. She raised her body so she was resting on her elbows and she looked over at him. It was shame that he’d taste like an ashtray right now.


[[Sorry for the wait love.]]
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Kasim Zabini
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No, Nobody Wants Him
Ravenclaw Student
She really needed to get a reality check if she thought that little comment about lowering her intelligence to his would ruffle his feathers. He was the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain, had gotten numerous girls to fall head over heels for him, was acing all his classes, not to mention the hat stuffed him into the house of the Eagles because he was decently smart…he couldn’t have made it if he wasn’t, and he had the O.W.L. scores to prove it. “Just remember, doll face, you started this. Besides, don’t forget that you would say ‘I’ll be in the courtyard, see you in the courtyard, they’re waiting in the courtyard.” Finishing, and no longer seeing the need for his trademark sunglasses, he shoved them in the pocket of his hoodie, tilting his head to look at her with his brown eyes. “But you’re obviously right, seeing as it’s completely impossible for someone like you to ever be wrong, so let’s just say you win for the sake of saving my sanity shall we?” He was being a smartass, but come on, he was at least adorable when he did it right?

He sighed and rolled over onto his stomach, propping his head up on his arms so he could watch her glide over to the stone bench, laying down on it and staring up at the sky. When she looked over at him, he was almost surprised, she was startlingly pretty, at least in this light at any rate. What would she do to him if he flicked out the last of his cigarette, joined her on the bench and pressed his lips to hers. Licking his bow shaped mouth he reminded himself that she wasn’t a fan of smokers, her earlier show of feigning a chocking sensation was evidence of that right there. And just as he began to wonder if she was going to continue to avoid his question, she spoke. Her words sounded so eloquent, so perfect, but also so very unsure of themselves. He couldn’t help but smirk a little.

I guess you’ll never know Zabini. You’d like to think I was…don’t you Zabini?

Oh the possibilities of getting into another grammar fight! Jarbs appeared in his mind, forming into little spears with which he could drag her off her pedestal and force her to realize she wasn’t queen of the English Language, regardless of how she liked to pretend she was. But he was generally a nice guy, a horndog, but a nice guy. Unless you were Rhoswen Weasley, he was too pissed off at her for not even letting him get to first base to play nice after their little ‘break up.’ Pulling the smirk off his face he rolled once more onto his back, putting his hand up above him as if examining it for any speck of dirt that could’ve so daringly gotten onto his precious, perfect skin. Dirt was never a concern of his, when you played Quidditch it rarely was, simply because of the amounts of time you’d get knocked off your broom and straight into the mud. It sucked, yes, it always sucked when you suddenly felt squishy in bits and areas where you weren’t supposed to.

Sighing deeply he made a frustrated sound from somewhere in the back of his throat, he wasn’t nearly as completely aggravated like he sounded, but hey, theatrical effects right? Closing his eyes and listening to the wind, he took a deep breath. “Fine, whatever, if you want to treat me like a leper I’m glad you weren’t looking for me, I was merely wondering if my presence here was still required through polite conduct and all that. But if you weren’t looking for me, I can take my leave of you very easily.” Standing up in one fluid motion he headed toward the door to the school. However, he stopped maybe ten feet away from her, positioned in front of her little bench. Turning around to face her he added, “I don’t get you Minas…one second you seem friendly toward me, and the next you’re the Ice Queen. I suggest you pick something and stick with it, it’s not nice to string people who like you around all the time.” Well wasn’t he the pot calling the kettle black?

Hypocrisy is one thing he doesn’t like, but damn if he won’t allow it just to get himself somewhere or get a stupid point across. Turning back to face the courtyard, he sighed and closed his eyes, shaking his head before continuing. If she liked him, she’d call out to him, if she was willing to play, she wouldn’t let him go back into the castle. If she did let him go, well, then the cat could always stalk the mouse hole in hopes of playing another day.



[ooc: my post was crap, but I still liked it. o.0 I’m weird.]
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Logan Minas
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l i q u i d c.o.c.a.i.n.e.
Gryffindor Student
Logan loved to toy with people, even if she was wrong- though she’d never admit it- it was fun for her. So watching him contradict her over and over was mildly amusing. He was so determined, so stone headed on being right. Logan wasn’t even sure who was politically correct here. Then again was it really about whether they were out or in? Or was it an excuse to talk and flirt and spend time near each other in hopes things would heat up? Logan almost laughed out loud. Why was everything so lustful around Zabini? Why did girls fancy him? Logan was sure there was some scientific reason, but it was easier to assume they all had hopes of fixing the heart that couldn’t love. An impossible task, she was sure.

Just remember, doll face, you started this.

Logan eyed him, As an excuse to talk to you, she rolled her eyes looking away from him, in the opposite direction to be exact. She was sure he wouldn’t catch her subtle hint that this was the end of that discussion, and now that they were open with each other and could probably move away from their grammar debate. Logan sighed outwardly hoping he’d hear, but he pushed forwards.

I’ll be in the courtyard, see you in the courtyard, they’re waiting in the courtyard. But you’re obviously right, seeing as it’s completely impossible for someone you to ever be wrong, so let’s just say you win for the sake of saving my sanity shall we?

Logan looked over at him faking a yawn. “Zabini, have you reached your word quota for the day yet?” She laughed hoping he knew she loved the purr of his voice. It wasn’t that Logan wanted to hush him, just make what he was saying a bit more useful. Like, ‘Damn Logan you’re pretty,’ she laughed under her breath. Or, ‘Even though you’re wrong Logan you look gorgeous being so.’ No, Zabini would rather go in for the kill, then kiss the wounds better. Logan assumed the rather dramatic sigh was suppose to be pointed in her direction.

Logan wasn’t sure if it was theatrical or genuine that he was this frustrated that she wouldn’t get on her knees and fan him. Or crawl over to him begging for attention or for a heated afternoon of Zabini’s finest.. Well his finest work. Was it work to him? It couldn’t be cause the way he flipped from girl to girl he’d be getting paid overtime. Fine, whatever, if you want to treat me like a leper I’m glad you weren’t looking for me, I was merely wondering if my presence he was still required through a polite conduct and all that. So she’d wounded him slightly. Maybe not in actuality but in the little wordplay going on he was seemingly hurt by the fact she wouldn’t come out and say, ‘Of course I was looking for you, why else would I breathe in the chemicals you insist on injecting into your body?’ Logan wouldn’t do that. She liked to have fun, but that would seem just a bit too easy for her taste.

But if you weren’t looking for me, I can take my leave of you very easily. So she had hurt him. Slightly, but still there was a sense of hostility. She watched him step down from the wall and start to walk away passing by the bench, and pausing. I don’t get you Minas She almost interjected there. Not many truly understood, understood what she went through on a nightly basis. That she couldn’t sleep in fear of what would happen in her slumber. Sure, some nights she’d get by with no disturbances, but those nights were few and far in between. However, it wasn’t time to empty all the skeletons out of her closet. -one second you seem friendly toward me, and the next you’re the Ice Queen. I suggest you pick something and stick with it, it’s not nice to string people who like you around all the time.

Logan eyed him cautiously, ‘Ice Queen’. She almost liked the sound of that. But what did he expect? Her to just open up any emotion towards him, to unlock herself to him so he could go ahead get what he wanted, and take the pieces of her heart with him. No, Logan would not set herself up to be hurt. She repeated his last comment in her head, -it’s not nice to string people who like you around all the time. Did he actually think she believed he held any emotion other then lust over a girl, well her in particular. She watched him take a few more paces away.

“Liar.” Was all she could say her eyes narrowing towards him. She got off the bench jogging up to catch up with him. She stepped in front of him standing in his way. “Zabini, say it. Say that you’re lieing to me, go ahead- say it.” She said her voice raising. She was out to show him, she had been holding her cards to carefully. Now it was time to lay out the trump to show him she had played this game before, and had been played by it. “You’re incapable of feeling anything Zabini, you call me the ice queen but it’s you that’s numb. Every time someone tries to get close to you, you shut down. You hurt them- you hurt them before they can hurt you.” Logan suddenly wished she hadn’t shown all her cards, that she hadn’t laid them out like that.

“I- I’m sorry.”
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Kasim Zabini
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No, Nobody Wants Him
Ravenclaw Student
Kasim heard her coming after him, and just as he was about to pat himself on the back for conquering the untouchable Logan Minas, he heard her words. Suddenly the congratulatory list of alcoholic beverages residing in his room that he would be drinking that night ceased to exist in his mind. He felt his body tense as images flashed through his mind. She was standing before him, and as he thought of a retort to say to the word, ‘liar,’ he felt his whole retaliation side of his brain shut down. There was no way in hell she was saying this to him…no way. She wasn’t that confrontational, she wasn’t that immune to him to actually stand up for her gender… but here she was, reaming him out, giving him what for in light of his apparent disregard for human emotions so long as they’re paired with curvy legs and a nice bust.

You’re incapable of feeling anything Zabini, you call me the ice queen but it’s you that’s numb. Every time someone tries to get close to you, you shut down. You hurt them,-you hurt them before they can hurt you.

How dare she! Did she have any idea what hellish torture he went through behind the closed doors of his home. What was supposed to be his safe haven was his nightmare. He couldn’t feel, he couldn’t let himself get close to anyone because that would make the winter and summer moments at home all the more unbearable. She was standing before him, looking at him as if she knew everything, like behind her pretty eyes rested some knowledge no one else would be able to possess for they would be beneath her. He wanted to hit her like his father hit him, to shove her up against the wall and lay into her pretty face until it was shredded into something no one would ever look at again. His muscles shook beneath his skin, the power flowing through him like raw energy from lightning. He couldn’t hit her- he wasn’t that heartless. The next thing he knew his fist was in the stone wall of the courtyard, bits of stone and dirt getting into the bloody wounds he’d just inflicted upon himself. If it hadn’t been the wall, it would’ve been her, and he’d be damned if he hit someone-least of all, a girl.

I- I’m sorry.

His eyes rest on her, narrowed into small slits of pure anger. “No,” he said flatly. “You’re not.”

Kasim was fuming, he paced the courtyard, and for the first time in his life he didn’t know what to say to someone. After all, he’d never encountered a situation where someone didn’t know how right they were. His uninjured hand massaged his forehead, slightly tender from where a now invisible bruise had been only days before. It gave him an idea, one he didn’t even stop to realize he didn’t want to say it, he didn’t want anyone to ever know and here he was, going back on a promise he’d made himself in his first year of school…after the first time. “You think I don’t feel, you think I don’t want anyone to hurt me? Well guess what Minas, you’re right again and this time I’m not giving up for you to win. You want to see why I don’t want to feel, why I won’t let myself feel?” He paused only long enough to rip his hoodie and shirt off of his body, worse, harder bruises entirely visible, though obviously in the end stages as far as bruising goes. It didn’t matter, they were grotesque enough to get his point across. “I can’t allow myself to feel because when I go home, feeling isn’t something very wise. Do you know what it’s like to have a father who hates you for the sole purpose of not being sorted into Slytherin? A father who favors your siblings because they didn’t screw up and went where they were supposed to.”

He turned his back on her, unable to look her in the face for fear he may just lose it. “I’ve dealt with this for six years, Logan. Six, fucking years, and it’s only gotten worse as I’ve gotten older. When I go home, I don’t always know if I’ll survive the night. So excuse me if my behavior isn’t exactly up to your perfect standards. Sorry if I don’t fit into your neat little porcelain world, but I’m not going to put myself and others in the situation I’m in now.” This time he did look over his shoulder at her. “That wall could’ve just as easily been your face. I don’t want anyone to wind up like me, and I sure as hell don’t want to wind up like my sadistic father.” He walked away, back to the stone wall. This time though he didn’t pose all perfect, he swung his legs over the wall and kept his back towards Logan. Kasim stared into the forest, wishing he could put his sunglasses back on to hide the hurt in his eyes, but they were lying on the ground with his shirt and hoodie…and unfortunately, his lighter and wand. He had his damn cigarettes but gods forbid he be able to smoke one when he really felt the need for it.

He’d just outed himself to someone he barely knew, even his older brother didn’t know what went on in that house, and he’d intended on keeping it that way. The plan had been to keep silent until he graduated, then he’d leave that house forever and somehow manage to make it on his own. He’d considered moving in with his aunt and uncle, but they wouldn’t want him, no way. Parvati and Padma had such a falling out over their respective marriages that there was no way he’d be a welcome house guest, let alone temporary resident. Good Goddess everything was so messed up. His home life, his relationships with his family, his sanity, and now even his hand. Bowing his head he couldn’t help the tears that came to him, try as he might to fight them back. A wave or relief washed over him from his revelation. In a soft voice he said one final thing. “Now I’ve reached my word quota, I won’t say anything more.”

That was a blatant lie, he was in such a state that even though he didn’t know it, he’d tell her all she wanted to know- if she wanted to know. He felt alone, cold, and sadly all he wanted was to be held by someone. His mother? But she wasn’t here… Logan? Not after his not so friendly visit with the wall. His brothers were out of the question as well. Rhoswen didn’t want anything to do with him and in all honesty, he didn’t half trust the friends he felt he had.

Life was so incredibly unfair and just sucked so bad, that Kasim wondered why he didn’t just end it all.




[ooc: Woo! A post I’m happy with!!!]
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Logan Minas
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l i q u i d c.o.c.a.i.n.e.
Gryffindor Student
((Wow I ‘effing held my breath the entire time. Bravo. *applauds* I’m loving this thread more and more as we go on. Sooo I’m not quite ready to let it end. H’okay? *hugs*))

Fold. That was exactly what Logan had wished she had done. Ended this charade before it had begun. She had went all in, and her chips seemed to be further then hell away. But wasn’t this something like hell? She was torn in between hostility and hate, hurt, lust, attraction, fear. Her mind and body were pulled in every direction, she hated the unpredictable, the uncontrollable. Her body practically shook with confusion. Logan felt suddenly penitent for saying such morbid things. How was it her place to make such remarks to him, who put her on the pedestal. If she could eat her words, she’d have a feast. She’d swallow them whole until her stomach pained, and that would be her penance for such a heinous act. Feeling more childish then ever she hung her head low, like a disobedient puppy her eyes searched the ground for a quick escape route, but nothing appeared. Maybe, there’d be a freak accident and the ground would swallow her whole. At least she’d get what she deserved.

Logan thought she had stung him before. No, that seemed miles away from the look on Kasim’s face. The absolute anguish that had formed in his eyes. Logan’s heart fell to the pit of her stomach where it beat faster then she could ever imagine. Quickly the agony morphed into hate, anger, frustration. This wasn’t the type of heat she had been banking on luring him into. Logan felt herself hold her breath as she caught sight of his clenched fist, his locked jaw, his anger. She readied herself, no sense in running away she deserved worse then this. But he turned away driving his fist into the stone wall. She watched pieces crumble, and instantly a red wound appeared on his fist the blood dripping down his hand the raw wound dirty and irritated. Logan wanted to grab it quickly, wrap it in her shirt, or something. Or at least get him to the infirmary. But she was afraid to reach for him, afraid he’d shatter under her touch.

No. Logan wasn’t sure he understood how sorry she truly was. She bit her lip to keep from yelping out in fear. She shook her head her eyes watering, she was more sorry then she’d ever been in the entirety of her life. She sat on the spot as he walked away, she was intent on running herself harder then ever, punishing her lungs and heart rate for the words she’d said. The pain she’d practically inflicted physically herself. Logan watched him pace the courtyard, she was in for it. He’d pull his wand and end it right there, and that would be merciful. Why couldn’t she just stop and think before she spoke ever? Why did she persist on being such.. Such a wench.

You think I don’t feel, you think I don’t want anyone to hurt me? Well guess what Minas, you’re right again and this time I’m not giving up for you to win. You want to see why I don’t want to feel, why I won’t let myself feel? Logan didn’t want to be right, and as soon as she heard him say so she knew she was about to feel worse then she already did. “I don’t..” she could finish. She watched him tear at his clothes pulling off his sweatshirt and shirt. Logan’s body cringed at what she saw. The wounds, the bruising, everything was too much. Her body began to shake and cringe at the coloration of his skin. He spoke of his father’s hate, and Logan wanted to die on the spot. To curl up and melt away into nothing. She couldn’t speak, she was in absolute disillusion, shock. Her eyes were large, they expressed fear, concern, pain, and disbelief. She wanted to wrap her arms around him, tell him he wasn’t alone. Logan wanted to make everything ok, she longed for neutrality. And seeing this much pain and hurt in one person was almost too much to bear.

I’ve dealt with this for six years, Logan. Six, fucking years, and it’s only gotten worse as I’ve gotten older. When I go home, I don’t always know if I’ll survive the night. So excuse me if my behavior isn’t exactly up to your perfect standards. Logan flinched. Perfect. He didn’t know the half of it. She wasn’t perfect, would she wake up with drenched sheets? Screams of terror? Dreams so vivid she practically felt the pain? Would she not remember the last night she slept the whole way through? All this in her perfect standards, her perfect life. The grass is always greener. Yet, she found it hard to long to be on the other side here.

Sorry if I don’t fit into your neat little porcelain world, but I’m not going to put myself and others in the situation I’m in now. That wall could’ve just as easily been your face. I don’t want anyone to wind up like me, and I sure as hell don’t want to wind up like my sadistic father. Logan didn’t expect him to say anything nice, but she cringed at the thought of taking the shot to the face that was aimed at the wall. He walked away from her, turned his back and hopped the wall in an instant- he was gone. Well, she could see him, he was on the wall, but she had let him slip away from her. Why had she gone and opened her mouth? Why was everything a game, why was she always so quick to attack and be defensive. Now, she was broke, her chips were long gone, and toying with Zabini seemed the worst thing a person could do. Logan rose to her feet wiping herself off.

This was all surreal to her. These things didn’t happen, not in real life. Biting her lip she levelled her gaze, she started this, and there wasn’t a chance in hell it’d end this way. Now I’ve reached my word quota, I won’t say anything more. Logan shook her head, no, it wouldn’t end this way. Reaching up to the wall that was close to her shoulders she managed to hoist herself up. Dangling her legs over the edge, she hoped to hell he didn’t get angry with her and shove her off, it’d be quite the leap. Logan was a few inches from him, she pulled her knees to her chest and took a deep breath.

“I..” She stopped short, what could she possibly say? “It’s just..” - no that wouldn’t do it. “Maybe..” she stuttered. “Wow.” She managed in a little less then enthusiastic tone. “Well a porcelain doll wouldn’t snort when they laugh would they?” Logan said quickly. Realizing that wasn’t what he wanted to hear she rested a hand gently on his back.

“Kasim?” She tested hoping he’d at least listen if he didn’t speak. Logan saw his cheeks were somewhat tearstained. She couldn’t imagine how he must be feeling. Vulnerable. Logan let her hand rub his back gently. “Kasim.. I know sorry won’t cut it, I know, but can I- I mean if you need someone to talk to.. It’s just I can listen really well, I promise.” Logan offered her hand resting for a moment at the nape of his neck. “Damn Kasim. I know I said it already, but I’m real sorry.” She said wrapping her arms around him and squeezing him gently before retracting and hoping for the best.
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Kasim Zabini
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No, Nobody Wants Him
Ravenclaw Student
Kasim had read her body language through his whole rant and he felt honestly bad about throwing this all on her, but at this point he couldn’t think about it, he was too focused on all the evil memories flooding in his brain. Sitting on that stone wall forced him to re-live everything that had gone wrong in his life, at least at home, and it wasn’t exactly what someone would call a pretty site. He couldn’t bring himself to try to console her like his mind was telling him, to comfort her worries about him. Good Goddess, brains were messed up sometimes-always retarded and trying to help others when they should be focused on their own pain instead. Perhaps a coping mechanism to avoid dealing with the unattractive problem? Possible, and more than likely probable. And try as he might to take advantage of this particular coping mechanism, it didn’t work. And what was worse, was that she was seeing him cry.

Kasim…I know sorry won’t cut it, I know, but can I-I mean if you need someone to talk to… It’s just, I can listen really well, I promise. Damn Kasim. I know I said it already, but I’m real sorry.

He felt her arms encircle him and gently apply pressure, and he couldn’t help the tears that still came out. His body had tensed at first, but relaxed until she began to pull away. His hands gently grasped her arms, holding them there. He didn’t know what he was doing anymore, it was as if someone had invaded his mind and was merely showing him old silent movies in place of his vision, his reality. Whether because he wanted to, or against his will, he wasn’t quite sure at the moment. He scooted over slightly away from Logan, just so he could lay down and rest his head in her lap. It wasn’t anything perverted, or a way to get her to want to shag him right there, he just needed comfort, and it just so happened that the best comfort in the entire world for any given situation, was the loving, tender touch of a woman. Granted, he was fairly certain there was no way any sense of touching she gave him was loving, it was still gentle and filled with care, sensitivity, not like his past and his father.

Kasim stared out towards the broad grounds, tears still silently rolling down his cheeks. When he spoke, his voice came out in a whisper, he wasn’t even sure if Logan could hear him. “I just- I don’t want to be alone right now. I just want to be held by someone who gives a shit, you know?” He didn’t know if he meant to do it or not, but a small smile graced his lips, even if just for a second, and his quiet words became his way of accepting her previous apology. “Which probably rules you out huh? Oh, I know you said you’re a good listener, but in all honesty can you tell me that you’d lose sleep over this?” He doubted that she would, if anything she might get some sick sense of satisfaction that while he tortured girls, he too had his own Piper to Pay.

Finally calming down, eyes drying he sat back up, always keeping some part of them touching. At the moment, like it or not, care or not, she was his anchor to this reality, and he needed to stay here else he do something irrational like jump off the tower or some such silly nonsense. Looking her in the eyes he said the one true phrase he never thought he’d hear himself utter. “I’m sorry I’m such a dick.” Kasim was amazed at the softness in his voice, how gentle and pure it sounded. “Maybe if I wasn’t-” he let it hang there, unwilling to complete the thought. He was vulnerable enough, he didn’t need to enhance it. Closing his eyes he turned away, just staring at that horizon again, willing his body to become one with it. If they hadn’t been on Hogwarts grounds, he probably would’ve apparated out there…somewhere anyway, and it would take his father ages to find him. In the mean time, Kasim would enjoy his solace, however momentary it would be, and just exist on a plane full of nothing but purity.

No violence.

No anger.

No rage.

It was what he needed, a vacation from those people. Perhaps, considering he was 17 years of age, he could empty out his private vault at Gringotts and get himself a place somewhere. His O.W.L.s had been magnificent, as all his test scores usually were, so he was certain he could find someone somewhere that would hire him. Of course, his last name was Zabini, and if his father called, demanding to not employ him, if only to drive him back to his home, they would listen. He’d be screwed in the end. So how to make it all better? He could assume a new identity and just run off, someplace in the Muggle World where no one would know him. They wouldn’t be able to tell if he was a liar or a fake, , an entertainment gag or just some crazy homeless person who happed to carry a nice big stick and call it a ‘wand,’ nor would they realize he was the real deal. This was the general idea, the grand master plan. He’d exchange some of his wizarding gold for Muggle cash and be set for a while. But not knowing his way around, how to speak to them. He really was stuck and he resented his father for it unbelievably so.

Then the prospect of jumping off the tower arose. No he couldn’t do that, suicide was the weak person’s way out in his opinion. Of course if he had a suicidal mind frame he’d probably have a different opinion about that whole issue in general. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder. “If I left, suddenly, in the middle of the night, day or whatever, just left and never returned. Do you think anyone would notice? That anyone would miss me? Would you?”

Stupid question. Why would she miss someone who was as messed up in the head as he was. That had a violent history that was doomed to repeat itself again, and who for sure could say the abuse and violence hadn’t started with his father but with a great-great-great-great-grandfather or something who brought it over from Africa? Nobody’ that’s who. So thus, he was stuck, unable to get out of this whole he lived in now. And for some reason he longed for the Hufflepuff, for Rhoswen, for anyone really, just the need to be touched, but especially by Logan. He suddenly felt the urge to hold her, to assure her that he’d be all right, that there was nothing his father could do to him once he was out of the house on his own. But more desperately than all that, he wanted his heart to stop racing, blood to stop pounding through him, and keep his lips from getting dangerously close to hers.

Unable to stop himself, his lips went in for the kill.



[ooc: Please ignore any typos and bad grammar and things that might be getting off topic and yeah. I haven‘t slept in about 31 hours so… halfway passing out as I typed that. Also meant to get it up sooner but got side-tracked opening my own site. Don’t feel neglected, I put everyone’s off. But I'm also going away for about a week and might not get the opportunity to post, and since I love this thread like there's no tomorrow, I had to post in case you can get something up in tme for me to reply once more or even just work on while I'm gone. Sorry it's sudden, but yeah, I'm all wonky at the moment.]
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Logan Minas
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l i q u i d c.o.c.a.i.n.e.
Gryffindor Student
Logan felt his body shudder with emotions, she felt a stray tear drip from him and fall onto her arm, sliding down it. She didn’t bother to brush it away, there was no shame in crying. There was no need to bottle up your emotions, or you’d explode, just as Kasim had. It had been all in good fun, and now- she had hit the sensitive spot and sent him over the top. As she pulled away slowly Logan felt Kasim’s grasp pull her arms back holding her there. Logan’s chin rested on his shoulder, her arms around him, just under his arms. She squeezed, she assumed he needed to feel someone, anyone, close to him. Logan was still in awe from everything that had happened. Nonetheless the fact that his hand was still bleeding somewhat, and she was sure he needed to see the nurse, but that was the least of her, or his worries at the moment.

Once he wiggled from her hug he moved down the wall slightly before laying down, his head resting in her lap. Logan’s hand found his hair, she gently ran her fingers through it, doing her best to comfort him, to calm him down. She looked across from herself staring into the distance. Why was this world filled with such an injustice? Fear, hate, confusion, sadness, pain, anguish, anxiety- such high strung emotions. Why did bad things have to happen all the time, surely it wasn’t karma. It was simple, Kasim had been hurt, repeatedly by someone he was suppose to love and be loved by, now- he wouldn’t let anyone come close to him. Logan was sure that’s why he acted the way he did, but this, this was a real glimpse at the Kasim Zabini Logan had never met.

I just- I don’t want to be alone right now. I just want to be held by someone who gives a shit, you know? Logan stopped for a moment, her hand resting on her lap beside his head. “I wasn’t planning on going anywhere..” she replied. It was true, she wasn’t anywhere near leaving, especially now. It was clear from his outburst that he needed someone to know his secret, know how he was hurting, and to help him, maybe? Logan sighed slightly, this was all so much to take in.

Which probably rules you out huh? Oh, I know you said you’re a good listener, but in all honesty can you tell me that you’d lose sleep over this? Logan laughed slightly, “I have a heart you know, as hard as it is to believe sometimes,” Logan said clearly. Logan paused about sleep, “I can’t sleep to begin with,” she said thinking of her previous night’s dreams, morbid pain, the sweat, the screaming. She almost shuddered. “Of course I’d lose sleep worrying about you now..” she said. It was true, she’d always wonder if he was ok, especially on holidays.

I’m sorry I’m such a dick. Logan wasn’t sure what to say, was he really apologizing to her? Or was she a symbol for all the girl’s had had hurt right now. Not sure of what to say, mostly dumbfounded, Logan sat quietly. Maybe if I wasn’t- Logan longed for him to at least finish the sentence, but he tore his eyes away, looking in the other direction. Maybe- what? He’d allow himself to feel? He wouldn’t be beaten by his father? Him and Logan would be closer? Logan wasn’t sure what he meant, but she knew enough not to ask and bother him about it.

If I left, suddenly, in the middle of the night, day or whatever, just left and never returned. Do you think anyone would notice? That anyone would miss me? Would you? Logan glanced over at him very sternly. “Don’t you dare,” she said her lips making a thin line. “If you do, or think that you won’t be missed- then he’s already won.” Logan paused, there wasn’t a chance that she would tell him to leave, that wasn’t the solution, not a plausible one. “Of course I’d miss you,” she said with a slow nod, it was her turn to stare off into the horizon. “Who would correct my grammar?” She asked with a light laugh. Her face fell serious, “I might not be the best looking girl here, or I might not go about it the right way, but..” Logan didn’t go any further. He got the picture.

Logan stared off at the sky, turning to glance at him she felt him moving closer, his face moving towards hers. Logan held her breath, what should she do? Of course she wanted him to kiss her, to hold her, but was that the best idea? He was venting off his emotions, he didn’t mean anything by kissing her. It was just his way of taking his mind off of everything he had just told to her. But did she want to not kiss him? It was a torn decision, so Logan did the best thing she could think of. Letting her lips graze his, gently at first, Logan took a breath. She allowed herself to push her lips against his a bit harder, then she stopped rested her forehead against his, her eyes closed.

“I don’t want to be the throw-away,” she whispered longing more then anything to let him wrap her up in his world, carry her away. She knew that she couldn’t let him do this. It wouldn’t make him feel better, in the end he’d still have to face reality, and she was scared. Fear filled her that she’d fall for the untameable guy, and then- the heartbreak. “I can’t be that girl,” she said even quieter hoping he understood she wanted this more then almost anything, but couldn’t take the poison that would surely come with it.

“I just don’t want to be hurt,” she whispered once more as she slowly opened her eyes pulling her forehead away from his.



[ooc: No worries love. Take your time, get some sleep. I wouldn’t let this topic die, I lurves it toooo much. Hopefully you’re week away is a vacation!! ]
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Kasim Zabini
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No, Nobody Wants Him
Ravenclaw Student
It was funny, out of all the girls that held him in the past, out of everyone he had been with all those people that never left him alone with his own thoughts, he’d never felt less secluded from the world as he did at this moment. What was Logan’s power? Was it his secret, did that give her the ability to do this to him? He had to ask her the furtive influence she possessed that had overcome him so entirely. Either that or he was losing it and imagining the whole thing. Dreams, as well as day dreams and fantasies, had that power. He knew it, he’d imagined things quite often in the past, and he was always strong, always able to overcome his father and end the cycle of abuse. So if this was a dream, a fantasy, a reverie, then the power she had was not real. Gods, he needed to stop psycho-analyzing everything. This was reality, they both existed, and for some strange reason he wanted to take her into his arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

Especially after she revealed that she didn’t sleep very well. That was something to consider. Did she have problems too? Well, everyone had problems, because if your life was perfect why would you try to do something to change it? You wouldn’t try to achieve some special destiny, some great purpose to fulfill your birthright debt to mankind. But perhaps her problems were real ones, the type of problems that were meaningful and not sad and pathetic like what color clothing to wear that day. Seeing a loose strand of her hair, he tucked it gently behind her ear. He’d find out why she had trouble sleeping, but sometime a little later. Maybe once he got these feelings under control. And then, after his nice long spiel about running away and nobody caring one iota of his presence or lack thereof at the castle, he looked at Logan in a new light, one of more respect and caring than he’d ever given anyone.

Don’t you dare…If you do, or think that you won’t be missed- then he’s already won.” Kasim was taken aback at her outburst. He hadn’t expected her to flat out forbid him to go, to talk about rising against his father-the bastard-and frankly, he was more than intrigued at her grasp of power. However, her points and reasons as to why he shouldn’t go weren’t over yet. “Of course I’d miss you. Who would correct my grammar?” Okay, so he was slightly down-hearted over the fact that, the grammar thing was the only reason as to why he should remain. He was about to get indignant and just sort of go when she continued, gluing him to the spot. “I might not be the best looking girl here, or I might not go about it the right way, but…” Her face was so serious as she spoke. So, she liked him then? The attraction was definitely mutual. Just a few minutes before he would’ve relished in his triumph of pulling this out of her. But now, after she knew more about him than he’d ever wanted anyone to know, he found himself feeling different than his normal self would’ve.

That was when he kissed her.

But he’d be damned if she didn’t kiss him back. It was tentative at first, as though she wasn’t very sure she wanted to be kissing him, but then her lips shared the dominancy of the kiss with his, and he felt elated inside. That bubble of elation didn’t pop when she pulled her lips from his, instead it was content, because they were still touching, skin on skin. Her forehead was against his when she spoke again, and he held on to her every word. “I don’t want to be the throw-away. I can’t be that girl. I just don’t want to be hurt.

Kasim silently damned his reputation as his little happy bubble faded into nothingness. He felt empty without her near him, without feeling her. Granted, there had been a few moments when they didn’t touch that he hadn’t felt empty, but that was different, he didn’t have the sinking feeling that he was going to be losing her. Cupping his hands around her face he stared into her eyes. He tried to think of a way to tell her that he wasn’t planning on anything like that happening. But everything sounded too after-school-special-y to him. So, he settled for the truth as best as he could put it into words. Taking a deep breath, he came to the pain-staking conclusion that he needed to say these to her, he couldn’t be his normal shut-up self around her. He’d already let her in, might as well go for the long haul. “Logan,” he started, his voice soft as ever. “Many girls have said the same thing to me, begged me to make my relationship with them something different than others. They pleaded and I stood silence, most of them taking that for an agreement, which is why all of them got hurt in the end. I’ve never been exactly boyfriend material here.”

This was coming out all wrong-but it needed to be said, it was important that she know this. “I never wanted to make those promises to them, because I knew I wouldn’t keep them. But I can promise this to you, I will try my damnedest to deserve you and make this work. It won’t be perfect, far from it, and it will be difficult, but I will do anything I possibly can to show you, to prove to you that when I kiss you, I mean something. That any promises I make to you, I will do my very best to uphold. My first one to you being, that this will be different, that I won’t just shut myself off and not care who I hurt. I promise that I will never try to hurt you in any way, Logan.”

Kasim closed his eyes and released her face from his grasp. He couldn’t do anything but that, she had the ball in her court and the next move was hers. Would she hear him and realize he was indeed telling her the truth, or at least he felt as though he was, he certainly wasn’t trying to lie or make promises he couldn’t keep. Apart from escaping his father, he’d never wanted anything more than to deserve her and have her at the same time. Though, he’d settle for having her in his life as a romantic interest rather than merely deserving her and being forced to keep away. He looked to her to see what her decision would be. He hoped it would be the one he longed for, then they could get to know one another and discover how much they had in common. What caused her insomnia if that was what it was, what could he do to help her and how could she help him? That’s how relationships worked right? You helped one another. Well, may the gods help him to be there for her no matter what, may they keep him on track if only to prove just how much he wanted this.

It could’ve been the excitement and mental exhaustion talking, and making him feel this way. And by all accounts it should’ve been… but deep in the back of his mind he felt this was different. This was his path, his destiny, his debt to all mankind. He was going to change and beat his upbringing, even if it changed his identity completely.



[ooc: Yes it was. Back now and wrote this on the train ride, so yay! I’m actually happy with it.]
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Logan Minas
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l i q u i d c.o.c.a.i.n.e.
Gryffindor Student
[ooc: Wow. Was not expecting this. But love it lots. Phew. Now for me…]

Logan felt Kasim’s hand brush her cheek gently pushing away a stray hair that had slipped. She leant into his touch, only slightly, feeling the warmth of his fingers trace a path from her cheek, behind her ear, and then it was gone. There was such a yearning in the pit of her stomach, to hold him again, wrap her arms around him and tell him she’d protect him from the cruelty of the world. To shield him from all the pain and hurt that could possibly come across him. Logan wanted so bad to reach out and shake him, tell him she cared, but alas she stayed still. Longing, wishing, hoping, for the rush she was having to die done, so she could open her eyes and tell herself she was being silly, and letting her guard down. The rush wasn’t ending, the feelings remained the same, and letting her guard down seemed like the only way to live at the moment.

Logan, resting her forehead against his, was staring into the eyes looking back at her. Her gaze wasn’t faltering, it was looking for truth, for protection, for feelings of caring. She felt his hands cup her face, Logan’s breathing matched that of his. Deep breaths in and out, panicking breaths. Both sitting on pins and needles while awaiting the opposing to speak, to say words that would comfort them, hug them, kiss them. Logan wanted to scream in the slight pause, the lead up was killing her, it was wrenching her stomach into tiny knots. Then, as long as the silence seemed, it ended. Kasim’s voice started, and Logan found her eyes on his once more.

Logan. Logan loved the sound of her name on his lips, but she seemed doomed from the beginning. Her stomach began to fall, was this the throw-a-way remark coming? The, ‘I can’t be tied down’, or ‘I don’t feel for you like that, but hey, thanks for listening’. Logan’s breath became slightly uneven, quivering, her gaze faltered. Many girls have said the same thing to me, begged me to make my relationship with them something different than others. They pleaded and I stood silence, most of them taking that for an agreement, which is why all of them got hurt in the end. I’ve never been exactly boyfriend material here. Logan cocked her head slightly, was he saying what she think he was saying? Was this indeed the end of their little charade. Logan found her lip between her teeth, and she was biting, biting hard. At least the pain was sidetracking her from what he could possibly mean by his words.

Logan was about to tell him she understood, and that it had to be the emotions talking, but he didn’t stop, and Logan found herself silenced. I never wanted to make those promises to them, because I knew I wouldn’t keep them. There was an irking feeling in Logan that was telling her that this was indeed utter honesty. She felt herself nuzzle his hand with her face slightly. Pushing into his hold on her. But I can promise this to you, I will try my damnedest to deserve you and make this work. Logan’s gaze snapped up to Kasim. Her eyes grew wide, was this a dream? Was this happening at all, she had the urge to pinch herself, but couldn’t, she couldn’t move, speak, or think straight. It won’t be perfect, far from it, and it will be difficult, but I will do anything I possibly can to show you, to prove to you that when I kiss you, I mean something. That any promises I make to you, I will do my very best to uphold. My first one to you being, that this will be different, that I won’t just shut myself off and not care who I hurt. I promise that I will never try to hurt you in any way, Logan. Logan swallowed hard. This was actually happening. Why her though? Why had she stood out to him, in that way. Was it because she knew his secrets, there was nothing to hide from her? Or was their a genuine interest, and feeling behind it all.

Logan felt his hands let go of her, she had been quiet so long, and now it was her turn to speak. How could she phrase all the things she needed to say, all the words that needed to be heard. Logan took a breath looking out over the grounds, and back at Kasim. She licked her lips quickly. Where to start.. “I..” she held off for a second. This was all happening so fast, so quickly. “-wasn’t expecting to ever hear you say those things,” Logan said turning her body to face him. “And I might be completely wrong but I believe you, and trust what you’re saying is real..” Logan wasn’t even sure what to say anymore. This must be shock settling in.

“I know it wasn’t easy to say those things Kasim.. But I’m honestly ready to try and make this work, and I know it’ll be hard sometimes, and we’ll stumble, but it feels right to me.” Logan leant forward letting her lips graze his cheek, she pulled back slightly. So what does this all mean? Logan moved a bit closer to Kasim her hand resting beside his. Did this mean they were together? Was Kasim committing to being with her, and only her? Logan smiled a bit as she glanced up at him.
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