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Spammers Jokes
Topic Started: Feb 13 2007, 08:44 PM (122 Views)
Gerry
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Admin
These are jokes that were sent with spam links, enjoy the jokes

FART FOOTBALL:

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, "Seven Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"

The old man replied, "It's fart football."

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7"

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.

The wife says, "What the hell was that?"

The old man says, "Half time, switch sides" smile.gif



The Eternal Optimist

Three friends had a good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad situation he would always say ''It could have been worse.'' His friends hated that quality about him, so they came up with a story so horrible that not even Joe could come up with a bright side.
So the next day, only two of his friends showed up for a golf date.

Joe asked, ''Where's Gary?''

And one of his friends said, ''Didn't you hear? Yesterday, Gary found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned the gun on himself.''

Joe says,''Well it could have been worse.''

Both his friends said, ''How in hell could it be worse? Your best friend just killed himself!''

Joe says, ''If it had happened two days ago, I'd be dead now!''


A man and his friend were enjoying deer hunting season in rural Michigan
near a blacktop highway. A huge buck walked by and the hunter carefully
drew his rifle and took careful aim.

Before he could pull the trigger, his friend pointed at a funeral procession
passing on the road below their stand.

The hunter slowly set his rifle back down, took off his hat, bowed his head
and closed his eyes in prayer.

His friend was amazed. "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing
I have ever seen. You are the kindest man I have ever known."

The hunter shrugged. "Yeah, well, we were married for 35 years, it just felt
like the right thing to do."

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