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Lets Tell Jokes
Topic Started: Nov 2 2005, 08:13 PM (2,333 Views)
fnesr
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....Beeracuda....
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*Please keep the jokes to a PG rating. There was a warning posted earlier in the thread about doing so. If I have to delete another one I will be locking this thread.
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RJ_Archer

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sorry i didnt meen to be rude fnesr :(
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grokz
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come on guys pull your heads in there are plenty of good jokes they all do not have to be rude :rolleyes:
grokz

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bundy
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grokz
Nov 24 2005, 05:02 PM
come on guys pull your heads in there are plenty of good jokes they all do not have to be rude :rolleyes:

that's where you are wrong :lol:
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fnesr
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....Beeracuda....
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RJ_Archer
Nov 24 2005, 01:26 PM
sorry i didnt meen to be rude fnesr :(


That's cool man just try and keep "em suitable for anyone ;).
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DiRtY_SoUtH
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how can you tell if a blonde has been on a computer


theres whiteout on the screen
A fish walks into a bar.... The bartender says "What can i get you?" the fish replys "WATER!!!!!"
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Gump

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Krystal
Nov 3 2005, 08:00 AM
Several men were in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rang and a man engaged the hands free function. Everyone in the room stopped to listen.
"Hello," the bloke said
"Honey, it's me," said a female voice on the other end, "I'm at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1000. Is it ok if i buy it?"
"Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
"I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership," the sheila continued, "I saw the new 2005 models. I saw one i really liked."
"How much?" asked the man.
"$70,000."
"Ok, but for that price i want it with all the options," he said.
"Great," the caller said. "Oh, and one more thing ... the house we wanted last year is back on the market for $950,000."
"Go ahead," the bloke said, "but just offer $900,000."
"Ok," the shelia said, "I'll see you later. I love you."
"Bye," the fella said, "I love you too." Then the man hung up.
The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he smiled broadly and asked, "Does anyone here know who this phone belongs to?"

hahahahahah roflmao :loll:
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cmc1
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Just a few question and answer jokes

Q: What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A: A stick.

Q: How is a lawyer different from a hooker?
A: There are some things a hooker just won't do.

Q: How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, the sockets go with the house.

Q: What's Black and Brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman.

Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A: A bad golfer goes, WHACK! "Damn." A bad skydiver goes, "Damn." WHACK!

Q: What do you call a lawyer skydiving?
A: A skeet.

Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.

Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.

Q: What are three words you dread the most while making love?
A: "Honey, I'm home."

Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A. Same thing as a "quickie", only you do it yourself.

Q: How does every ethnic joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.
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grokz
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:loll: i take it that you dont like lawyers...lol
grokz

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bundy
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Why do women call it PMS?

Mad Cow disease was taken :lol:
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callen
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James Bond's Special Watch

James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive
woman. He gives her a quick glance, and then casually looks at his watch
for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running
late?" "No," he replies, "Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it." The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art
watch? What's so special about it?" Bond explains, "It uses alpha waves to
talk to me telepathically." The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties." The woman giggles and
replies, "Well it must be broken because I'm wearing panties!" Bond
smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's an hour fast."
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CrazyFChick

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Bwahahahaha!! Callen that's a brilliant joke! LOL
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bundy
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hahahaha that is a good one callen :lol:
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Jaynee

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:D That's clever Callen!! Very funny.. :loll:
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heech
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How can you tell if a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.
He who laughs last has not been told the terrible truth.
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