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Lets Tell Jokes
Topic Started: Nov 2 2005, 08:13 PM (2,326 Views)
Zac_Attack

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lets get some jokes in here cause i love laughin my head off cause it feels good

OK first one from me......

A plane was going to New York and the engine blew, everyone was really scared and upset except one lady who stood up and said,"if i am gonna die i want to leave this world feelin like a woman"
so she took off all her clothes and stood there naked and said,"OK what brave and lovingful man wants to help me have my wish"
all of a sudden a man stood up with bulky and big muscles and took off his shirt and said,"here woman iron this" :lol: :lol: :lol:
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grokz
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:loll:
i used to know heaps of jokes
grokz

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bundy
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95% of the jokes I know will get me banned. :P

Hmm...

------------
What do you call a smart blonde?

A goldern retriever.

When I remember more clean/nice ones i'll post em :P


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grokz
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ok bundy....lol
grokz

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Zac_Attack

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even if they are poop say em cause i laugh at anything i swear(i still laugh at the chicken crossing the road joke)
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Luke
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Guv'ner
The owner of a chemist walks in to find a guy leaning against the wall and asks the sales girl" whats with the guy over there?" the sales girl says " well he came in this smorning to get something for his cough so i have him a bottle of laxatives" " you cant treat a cough with laxatives" said the owner " oh yeah? look at him now hes afraid to cough " the replied the sales girl
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DiRtY_SoUtH
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:loll:

whyd the koala fall out of the tree

cuz it was dead


why the 2nd koala fall out of the tree

cuz the 2nd one hit it on the way down



sorry if no1 finds that funny .......i have a reali dry sense of humour :lol: :lol: :lol:
A fish walks into a bar.... The bartender says "What can i get you?" the fish replys "WATER!!!!!"
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DiRtY_SoUtH
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whoops i stuffed up

its meant to say

cuz the 1st 1 hit it on the way down MY BAD B)
A fish walks into a bar.... The bartender says "What can i get you?" the fish replys "WATER!!!!!"
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Luke
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whyd they echidna die?


got hit by two koalas
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DiRtY_SoUtH
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:loll: :loll: :loll: :loll: :loll: HAHAHAHHAHAHA

why didnt the cat drink its milk??



its head was stapled to the ground
A fish walks into a bar.... The bartender says "What can i get you?" the fish replys "WATER!!!!!"
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Zac_Attack

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how do you keep idiots in suspense? (suspense means wanting to know something)

i will tell you all tomorrow :lol:
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Zac_Attack

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OK two fish were swimming in the water and the first one ran into a wall and said,"DAM" (get it a dam is where fish swim)

What did Micheal Jackson say to the skipper as he was drowning?

"Throw me a buoy"

What did Micheal Jackson say to the credit card?

"Don't worry im all plastic too"

Why does Micheal Jackson like 26 year olds?

cause there is 20 of them (get it 20 6 year olds)

and last one..........

A woman was staying at a hotel and she decided to go sunbathing on the hotel roof. When she laid down to sun her back, her bikini top fell off. She didn't care so much, though, because nobody ever came up to the roof anyway. Which is why she was surprised when she heard footsteps. It was the waiter from the restaurant. "Ma'am," he said, "we were all wondering if you could put your top back on."
"Why? I'm not disturbing anybody."
"Ma'am. You're on the skylight roof."
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grokz
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:loll:
grokz

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Krystal
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.Spunky Cichlid.
Super Chick

Several men were in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rang and a man engaged the hands free function. Everyone in the room stopped to listen.
"Hello," the bloke said
"Honey, it's me," said a female voice on the other end, "I'm at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1000. Is it ok if i buy it?"
"Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
"I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership," the sheila continued, "I saw the new 2005 models. I saw one i really liked."
"How much?" asked the man.
"$70,000."
"Ok, but for that price i want it with all the options," he said.
"Great," the caller said. "Oh, and one more thing ... the house we wanted last year is back on the market for $950,000."
"Go ahead," the bloke said, "but just offer $900,000."
"Ok," the shelia said, "I'll see you later. I love you."
"Bye," the fella said, "I love you too." Then the man hung up.
The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he smiled broadly and asked, "Does anyone here know who this phone belongs to?"
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Luke
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Zac_Attack
Nov 3 2005, 07:11 AM
how do you keep idiots in suspense? (suspense means wanting to know something)

i will tell you all tomorrow :lol:

Im waiting :unsure: :P


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