POST SHOW BEGINS NOW.

Larry Hyrb starts off, as always. And also other people.

I think the audio/video is off sync. Dan Greenawalt from Turn 10 shows up in a supercar. A Lamborghini, even. Jesus.

LOL TWITCH WENT OFFLINE E3 CANCELLED ACCORDING TO TWITCH.

Guy from Harmonix shows up to talk about Fantasia: Music Evolved. A Kinect game based on Disney's Fantasia thing.

343 dudes walk past, completely ignore Larry.

Frank O'Connor. Asked about Halo 2 Anniversary. His response: "I haven't heard anyone talk about that." YOU FUCKING LIAR.

"My Favorite Game." People are talking about their favourite games. AND MY STREAM BROKE AGAIN FUCKING HELL.

Have to reload the app altogether, hold on. Loading... And we're back!

Sunset Overdive truck rolls up. And Ted Price from Insomniac.

A/V sync is off again. My Internet sucks balls.

(Twitch is doing their own pre-show. It's just as boring.)

NEW THING. NOPE. Killer Instinct Season 2. Fall 2014.

Titanfall. Woo. Talk talk talk. (Twitch is still boring, btw)

Sorry about the single line paragraphs. 15 minutes left.

Something about 15 games coming to Xbox One. iOS, I think I heard? Fuck I wasn't paying attention SO MUCH FOR "PROFESSIONAL" HUH ENZAN?

Guy from an indie studio talking about stuff from ID@Xbox.

Look inside the Briefing room with Graeme Boyd. Bajo's in there, somewhere.

Claim is "Games, games, games." Ready to put your money where your mouth is?

Rod Ferguson from... where? Black Tusk. So... something new? Who knows?

Now, game influences. Another topic of the My Favourite Game thing. Meh. Ten minutes, left.

Happy Wars is coming to Xbox One. Cross-platform play and 4-player splitscreen. Still not free to play, though.

Graeme's backstage now. I think I'll stop the pre-show liveblogging now, actual thing's about to start. New post for that. Scroll down!

--IT BEGINS.

--Oh god, they have TV screens flat on the floor.

--Really small stage this year. Phil Spencer opens up. All about games, again.

--(Gonna turn off spoiler tags for now.)

--Stuff about the console. Stuff, stuff, stuff.

--GET ON WITH IT. (Oh god, this looks even worse without the spoiler tags.)

--Call of Duty's up first. "All games shown will have DLC first on Xbox One." Obviously.

--Hey, look! Gameplay! Still doubt it's worth playing.

--GUNS! That don't sound futuristic at all. JETPACKS. That do what jetpacks are supposed to do. Funny that.

--Was that a fucking Pelican? Ripping off Halo now, Activision? For shame.

--GIANT WALKING TANKS WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE.

-- Oh god, Swarmbots. Little robot things that fly in massive swarms. That's even worse than giant walking tanks. Let's call 'em LocustMechs.

--Grenades can have their functions changed by spinning a text display module. Someone gets their arm trapped by a door after tossing a grenade in. He dies. Player character almost dies afterwards.

--OH. Debris flat out sliced off the PC's arm. Fuck. Demo over.

--Dan Greenawalt from Turn 10 is on stage now. Talking about Forza 5. Talks about doing things "for the fans." Didn't stop you from shipping 5 with less content than Forza 4, did it?

--Nurburgring is available on Forza 5 starting today.

--Ralph Fulton from Playground here to talk about Horizon 2. Will be playable in 1080p. Took long enough. Daya nd night cycles, with dynamic weather. And will still be playable in 1080p. Wow. Releases September 30 for Xbox One and Xbox 360. Teaser trailer.

--"Dramatic weather?" Wat. Isn't the term dynamic, you dorks?

--Evolve now. Beta and DLC will be on Xbox platforms first. You can play in a team of four and kill a monster, or play as the monster.

--Ubisoft on stage for AC Unity. So, four player co-op is a thing, by the sounds of it. They've dragged out four peple to demo the game. So far, just one person. There's the second player. Took down two guards separately.

--Holy crap that's a large crowd. This actually looks pretty cool. Too bad Ubisoft fucked up with Watch_Dogs. And yea, four people working towards the same goal. Screen just split into four segments to show all four players at once.

--That was an uneccesary finish, Ubisoft. You sick fucks.

--That My Favourite Game thing pops up again. This time, My First Game. Stuff.

--Hey, look, Arem! It's Dragon Age! "Premiere content first on Xbox." Dragons! Releases October 7.

--'Nother game. My guess? Battlefield. That was over quick... oh no, wait, Sunset Overdrive. It was a trap. Ted Price showing off a gameplay demo. Character customisation is a thing. I want this game, dammit!

--The parkour system's so smooth and fluid. AC was never this fluid is its traversal. Eight player mode called "Chaos Squad." Releases October 26.

--Dead Rising now. New DLC available now that really makes everything weird. All of the Dead Rising protagonists; 4 player co-op; arcade insanity.

--Harmonix on stage to talk about their new game. New Dance Central thing.

--David Eckleberry from Lionhead talking about Fable Legends. And there goes my Internet again. Switching to Twitch while I reboot the app. Fucking ads.

--So, Fable Legends. Multiplayer that looks significantly better than previous games. Also, fifth player that plays as the bad guy, setting enemies and stuff, like a dungeon master. Boss monsters. Etc. Twitch is faster than Xbox. Somehow. There might've been a release date, but I missed it. Maybe.

--Now back to that favourite game thing. Hybrid games. Meh.

--New game. No wait, just Project Spark. There have not been any brand new games shown off yet. Just stuff we already know about. Oh... right, that was the plan. The all-new stuff comes after all of this. Spark's beta phase has been underway for a while.

--WAIT! FUCKING CONKER IS IN FUCKING PROJECT SPARK.

--Something that is "only on Xbox One." Haven't seen this one yet. A 2D platformer of some sort. You play as a pixie spirit or summin'. WhAT IS THIS GAME? Ori and the Blind Forest. That's it. A teaser.

--Another My Favourite Game thing. Talking about Favourite Characters.

--IT'S HAAAAAAALO!! Master Chief is messin' about on a ship. WAIT THAT'S A CG SCENE OF THAT DIVEBOMB THING AT THE START OF HALO 2 SPADE IT'S HAPPENING. ...is it happening? This is a different Spartan now. Bonnie Ross from 343 is on now. There was a bit of text at the end but I was typing at that exact moment so I missed it.

--Halo: The Master Chief Collection! The entirety of John 117's tale to date, coming to Xbox One on November 11. Halo 2 will get the Anniversary treatment. And the multiplayer will be emulated just as it was then. Or whatever. Two Halo 2 maps will also get a Xbox One quality remake. This is a lot of shit to cover man. 1080p, 60FPS. Full achievement set for all four games. That's 4,000 GS in total. Will also come with Halo: Nightfall, that live action series. And, of course, access to the multiplayer beta for Halo 5: Guardians! All of that, with this one game collection.

--Ok, Phil Spencer is back. Everything covered up till now will all be available by this holiday. Now, some games due for 2015.

--New game from those guys at Playdead. First on Xbox. Early 2015. 2D survival horror? Called Inside.

--Chris Charla, director for ID@Xbox is on stage now. Talking about indie games coming to Xbox One. Highlight reel of upcoming indie games. I am not even going to bother listing any of them.

--That stupid interview thing again.

--World premiere. I was going to say that this looks like a David Cage game. But I'm also getting a Tomb Raider vibe. Yep, TR. Rise of the Tomb Raider. Sometime in 2015.

--CD Projekt RED on stage for The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. Gameplay. Not really interested, but it looks damned amazing.

--Ken Lobb, creative director at Microsoft Studios, talking about Killer Instinct. Nope, different game. Another reboot of a game released back on the 360. The hell is this? Was this originally a 360 game? OH HEY, NOW THIS IS SOMETHING SPADE WAS wAITING FOR. Phantom Dust is a thing!

--That favourite game thing again, so yea. Guy from Ubisoft, talking about Tom Clancy's The Division. I really want this game, Ubisoft fuckery be damned. Gah, looks so good. Looks like tons of fun. 2015. Boo.

--PLATINUMFUCKINGGAMES. Xbox One exclusive about to be revealed by Hideki Kamiya. Oh maaaaaan. Scalebound. It's just CG but holy crap.

--David Jones from CloudGine. New game exclusively for Xbox One. This is...? CRACKDOWN. More CG. Destructible environments might be possible.

--Phil Spencer again. So, guess that's it. On to the post-show!

Yes Luffy it's happening. See you guys online. I've gotta pass my old 28/29 rank (Team Slayer) from the old ranking system (before May 1st reset)

LOL dat teabag. I got more than I expected though out of this with the CE multiplayer even. Also, achievement hunting time!