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| My life sucks.; Note: Read with a somewhat positive tone | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 26 2010, 08:33 AM (142 Views) | |
| -Emerald Spirit- | Oct 26 2010, 08:33 AM Post #1 |
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Quartermaster and Field Commander of the Baneblade Chapter
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As it stands, recently, my bros have been kind of shut out of my life. It's not that I haven't been talking to them, rather, I've just been kind of quiet about these things. As there's nobody online I'd like to vent to right now, the forum gets to deal with it. My thoughts as of late have turned to the sour side, and it undoubtably comes from the shitty little thing I call my life. Yes kids, like it says right on the tin, my life sucks. But, why does it? Well, for one, let's look at how my mind operates. I'm heavily introverted. Most of us are educated and know what this means, but for those who don't, it means I spend a lot of time in my mind, thinking about my life and things around me, the things that have happened during the day, things that happened years ago that still bother me, things that haven't happened yet and still manage to bother me. Like how horrible of a run-on sentence that just was. It's probably going to bother me up until I actually hit the post button. Other things that have been bothering me is that I haven't had any motivation at all to work on that novel I'm supposed to be writing because that's my passion in life. Or the fact that I have vivid mental imagery that would be fantastic sketched out on paper and shared with the world, but my hands lack the ability to convey these images. I'll start a rather hard to explain issue. Yet another thing niggling at my mind lately is my special ladyfriend. Those in the know (IE. Close circle of bros) know about my special ladyfriend, and the special situation surrounding her. The "special situation" is a sticky one, and one I don't like explaining in detail in a public setting, but what I can tell you is that it's definitely preventing her and I from being together the way we'd like. The 2000 mile distance between us doesn't exactly help either. And that's an accurate number. As of late, us being so distant and unable to be together has bugged the everloving hell out of me. I want nothing more than to have her in my arms but because of The Way Things Are, it just can't be. A grave injustice, I know, and it's one I struggle against every night as I lay trying to sleep, in vain, letting all of these unpleasant thoughts wash over my mind. And then of course, we have the little issues that are like gnats. Sure, they're small, but so many of them at once, buzzing around your head and getting stuck in your ears and buzzing even louder? Fucking hell, make it stop. As you all definitely for sure know, due to how vocal I am about the problem, I own a very shitty PC. It prevents me from playing my vidya games the way I'd like and therefore, is a gigantic piece of garbage. BUT FEAR NOT, I HAVE RECIEVED A NEW ONE! Yes, joy and faith be to Panther and His holy ilk, a quality PC has found its way into my hands due to a caring donation from a friend. However, the process of setting the damned thing up has been a journey in and of itself. Initially, I thought the drive would have the appropriate hookups for the hard drives I already owned, and I could simply pop them in and boot up without skipping a beat, having all my files and games, ready to be played as they were intended. But...well, you read the thread title. It didn't have the appropriate cables. Woe is me, the PC became useless. So, I took on some oddjobs for some family members to get the scratch for an adapter which would let me use them there hard drives. First, I thought I simply needed a power adapter. Well foot met mouth in a big way, so I had to get an adapter that let an IDE drive work with a SATA motherboard. Once I finally got that (with yet another caring donation from another friend who later proved that he's still an asshole despite this) squared away, I hooked it all up with my IDE drive with Windows XP and prepared to have a PC from the 21st centu-[BLUE SCREEN ERROR MESSAGE REBOOTING] (repeat ad infinitum) Turns out you actually can 't pop a drive in like that. An operating system needs to be freshly installed in a new machine. Well fuck me sideways. So, with help from the caring-but-an-asshole friend, we got a new OS installed in the PC with his USB keyboard. Drivers were missing, including the driver that allowed the damn thing to get on the internet. However, he had to leave as it was getting late that night and the people in my house aren't too fond of the idea of my friends being at my house. At all. Now, I pointed out the keyboard because, unbeknownst to me, the PC didn't have a port for the traditional round port/PS2 type keyboards. I shrugged this off, I thought it wouldn't be a problem. Until I could get a USB keyboard, I could just use the virtual keyboard that Windows has. Nope.avi. The PC doesn't boot without a keyboard plugged in. I simply get a "KEYBOARD ERROR PRESS F1 TO REBOOT" without having one plugged in. Well, fuck you too, Windows. However, this is all issues that will be solved at my earliest convienence tomorrow because I've gone to a family member's house to do some more odd jobs and got my keyboard and with their PC, I've gotten the drivers I need on my portable device and will proceed to install them. Now, you may be thinking, "These don't seem like such problems to me, you've solved most of the recent niggling ones." Yes, but recall, if you will, the fact that I'm a heavy introvert. So these continue to bother me long after I've dealt with them. And with the persistant issues, like my ladyfriend problems, the fact that I still can't get a job, and my inability to create beautiful art and stories, it's like I'm constantly under attack by my own mind. ![]() "I've heard of heart attacks before, but this is ridiculous." Now, I'm sure I'm forgetting some things, but I'll go ahead and bitch about them in the future. But for now, just chew on these sour morsels and give me your best shot. |
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A desolate place, without any trace It's only the cold wind I feel It's me that I spite, as I stand up and fight The only thing I know for real There will be bloodshed! | |
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| Conjurer of the Storms | Oct 26 2010, 09:35 AM Post #2 |
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Graduate
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Meh. I've dealt with far worse, and lived through it. The job market sucks right now, so don't let that get you down. Otherwise, just keep your chin up, and take 'em as life tosses 'em, because life doesn't stop pitching just because you took a step out of the batter's box. |
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