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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 15 2007, 06:09:37 AM (139 Views) | |
| Phoenix_Kensai | Feb 15 2007, 06:09:37 AM Post #1 |
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Resident Borgstromancer
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My mother just got this in her e-mail... They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: (Summer, 2006 Release) -------------------------- The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. -------------------------- The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus." -------------------------- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. -------------------------- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you. -------------------------- Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. -------------------------- Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. -------------------------- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. -------------------------- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. -------------------------- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. -------------------------- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. -------------------------- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. -------------------------- Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some older ones. -------------------------- Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. -------------------------- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. -------------------------- The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. -------------------------- Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. -------------------------- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. -------------------------- This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. -------------------------- Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. -------------------------- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. -------------------------- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet next Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. -------------------------- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. -------------------------- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Prebyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance. -------------------------- The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours." |
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| rn7 | Feb 15 2007, 06:19:05 AM Post #2 |
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Supreme Commander
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ftw |
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| Reikken | Feb 15 2007, 07:13:33 AM Post #3 |
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lol Some of those are great. |
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qDiJkhUMfw http://myanimelist.net/profile/Reikken | http://www.last.fm/user/Reikken | |
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| BookwormGamer | Feb 15 2007, 02:47:51 PM Post #4 |
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Mr. Dictator of the Universe and BookwormGamer
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XFD |
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| TTPN | Feb 15 2007, 03:28:33 PM Post #5 |
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The god of all that you know and love
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Those were the best ones. |
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| Folka Albark | Feb 15 2007, 03:47:48 PM Post #6 |
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Anti-Regression Cannon
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THE TEARS AND LAUGHTER JUST WONT STOP XDXDXDXDXDXD |
![]() Formerly Lord Kamina/Sanger Zonbolt/Colonel Curtiss/ADAM. Is not Naglfar. | |
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| R2D2 | Feb 15 2007, 06:07:06 PM Post #7 |
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~(+|I|\/|I|+)~
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I just can't laugh when I'm reading about churchy stuff... |
| ~TheRoadtoDawn~ | |
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| Reknamarken | Feb 15 2007, 08:03:37 PM Post #8 |
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Unregistered
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*doesn't read* Even though, going to a catholic School, Their are church ladies that are that crazy. |
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| Whale | Feb 16 2007, 12:57:49 AM Post #9 |
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I XD'd at some of them, but it being church related made me feel a bit guilty as well... |
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obligatory text << | |
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