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haha this thing still says it's 2010 haha

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Topic Started: Feb 15 2007, 06:09:37 AM (139 Views)
Phoenix_Kensai
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Resident Borgstromancer

My mother just got this in her e-mail...




They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins!

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

(Summer, 2006 Release)
--------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again,"
giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet next Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Prebyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
Posted Image
Posted Image?
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rn7
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Supreme Commander
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Quote:
 
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Prebyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.


ftw
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Reikken
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lol

Some of those are great.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qDiJkhUMfw

http://myanimelist.net/profile/Reikken | http://www.last.fm/user/Reikken
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BookwormGamer
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Mr. Dictator of the Universe and BookwormGamer

XFD
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TTPN
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The god of all that you know and love

Phoenix_Kensai
Feb 15 2007, 06:09 AM
My mother just got this in her e-mail...





Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet next Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Prebyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.

Those were the best ones.
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Folka Albark
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Anti-Regression Cannon

THE TEARS AND LAUGHTER JUST WONT STOP

XDXDXDXDXDXD
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Formerly Lord Kamina/Sanger Zonbolt/Colonel Curtiss/ADAM.

Is not Naglfar.
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R2D2
~(+|I|\/|I|+)~

I just can't laugh when I'm reading about churchy stuff...
~TheRoadtoDawn~
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Reknamarken
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*doesn't read*

Even though, going to a catholic School, Their are church ladies that are that crazy.
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Whale


I XD'd at some of them, but it being church related made me feel a bit guilty as well...

obligatory text <<
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