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Walmart is not for Men
Topic Started: Jun 11 2007, 06:51 PM (903 Views)
Arcane
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The Immortal
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Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse.

Here's a letter sent to her from the store.


Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below. Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the >restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares.. and watched what happened.

5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.

11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
And last, but not least ...

15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
Cassiel: The key is this: simplicity is the enemy of complication, not the enemy of complexity.
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Aqua Dragon
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Is That True? Cause If It Is, It Is Pretty Darn Funny >XD

He Must Have Been Pretty Bored >XD
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Seth E Cross
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Naw, this is just a collection of jokes throughout the ages that have a distant connection... I've seen these before, but some of them were new and very funny ^.^ Arcane needs to keep posting weird stuff on our forum O.o

If not link to us somehow in general ^.^
August 6th, 2007
Everything. Changes.
Goth's High
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Aqua Dragon
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Hooray For The Weird Stuff >XD
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Krys A Night
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That's great. Though I highly doubt that it's real.
My Inner Kitten says bite me

The night rules me with an iron fist, the daylight hours are filled with broken dreams and shattered hearts. My mind no longer notes the difference, the daylight hours are long, and the nights longer. Will I ever be set free?
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Seth E Cross
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>XD Trust me, it's not. I've seen the jokes before, many a time >P
August 6th, 2007
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Goth's High
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Arcane
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Quote:
 
If not link to us somehow in general ^.^


That's an idea, but my forum is being completely redone at the moment, and I still have a lot of topics to move over. It looks (is) much cleaner now than before though. All that's missing is:

1) Members (O_o the old forum was full of my friends, but they got bored and left)

2) A banner >XD

3) Something to attract people (Goth's High has the comic... I need something too, perhaps I'll put my map there when I'm done with it.)
Cassiel: The key is this: simplicity is the enemy of complication, not the enemy of complexity.
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Seth E Cross
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Eh, WC things are always a dead end topic because of sites like WC3C and TH.net. They sorta monopolized it O.o
August 6th, 2007
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Goth's High
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Arcane
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O_o

But some specific map sites do ok. Like the Element TD, or Tides of Blood sites. I don't know, maybe I'll come up with something else in the future.
Cassiel: The key is this: simplicity is the enemy of complication, not the enemy of complexity.
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Seth E Cross
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Those are hugely known maps. Like DotA and whatnot. They have a huge fanbase on their own for whatever reasons.

I'm not saying your map won't be good, but don't just assume it'll be that good right off the bat. I can, however, of course be wrong. >:)
August 6th, 2007
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Goth's High
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Arcane
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I'm not even sure I'll ever finish it. O.o

The point is, if I ever do, and people like it...


Anyways, this stuff is kind of off topic. :P
Cassiel: The key is this: simplicity is the enemy of complication, not the enemy of complexity.
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kc102
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^Look! A magical red X!
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Rofl
Loved these!
15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
^Fav!
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Mizuio Ken
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I'm Sorry but I never shopped at walmart it made me feel too poor or I get lost in it

Sams Club is the way to go
You can buy 3 sheds for the price of 2 so you buy 3 even if you only need 1 >XD
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Hermine
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Hermine
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