Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to Kranin Forum. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
The Nervous Priest; Heh, more funny!
Topic Started: Oct 22 2006, 08:04 PM (90 Views)
Seth E Cross
Member Avatar
[Revelation] Administrator
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Quote:
 
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervious I take a sip." So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass he found the following note on his door.




  1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

  2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

  3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

  4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

  5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

  6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

  7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and Spook.

  8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

  9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

  10. We do not refer to the cross as the Big T]

  11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body", he did not say, "Eat me."

  12. The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, "Mary with the Cherry".

  13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God"

  14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

August 6th, 2007
Everything. Changes.
Goth's High
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
kelly13
Member Avatar
Wanna-Be (I just wanna fit in)
a drunk priest hell ill go to church to see that one.
doing what you tell me to is like sky diving its cool till you think about it.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Free Forums. Reliable service with over 8 years of experience.
« Previous Topic · The Toy Chest · Next Topic »
Add Reply