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Evinith
Topic Started: Jun 7 2007, 10:42 PM (246 Views)
Chaos Balmung
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Well Oth was posting his story so i though what the hell I mean this only a way for you guys to find out just how truly weird I really am. Sorry I havn't read you first chapter yet Oth I just got down with mine and its 11:30 so i should be getting to bed about now.

Yeah it took me a whole class period of not paying atteion to come up with the name evinith so if you steal it ill hunt you down and kill you.
OK this story is M as in mature, it contains blood violence and well mostly that. I dont plan on sexual material to get to an M rating cuz thats just boring i dont have to write about that ><. yeah so worring dont read unless your ok with Mness.
That and its ALOT to read heh Good luck people.

The sky seemed nice, not a cloud in the sky just a vast of endless blue spiraling onward for as far as any eye could see. The tall trees rose upward constructing a dense forest that didn’t’ appear to let any sunlight pierce though it to the ground below. In the distance a mountain could be seen as the trees climbed up it with a small lake sparkling off to the side of it. The sunlight hit the water so perfectly is shined out like a light from the heavens. The scenery from the window never seemed to change from this perfect picture even as the train continued to roll by. Staring at this never ending view was the only thing the passengers could do to entertain themselves as they waited for their sweet arrival. The inside had a hardwood floor with various holes between certain seats that let the loud noise of the rolling train bother anyone sitting in that seat as they looked down at what could easily be their death. The train had a good sturdy steel frame with simple windows, none of which seemed to be broken even though the rest of the train was in such bad shape. The center created an aisle that led from one end of the car to the other with booths on each side for the people to sit in. The seat where made out of a run down leather that that let the insides pock out on some of the seats. The train was rundown, it was no rich car, but it would hold for their trip.
A young employee came from the car ahead to do a head check and started to count off everyone in her head. One, an old man sitting by himself sleeping, though he look almost dead in his sleep. His old gray hair, wrinkles, and cane sitting next to where he slept added to his nice old appeal. Two, three, four, a middle age woman sat behind him with two uncontrollable children that continued to yell and hit each other despite their mother trying to get them to clam down. The lady’s hair was freed and was obviously tired from trying to clam her daughter and son that just went at each other. Five, six, across the aisle was a new young couple trying to be intimate even with the commotion across the aisle. The boy was quite good looking and probably had a good life and the girl seemed to be normal but better looking than him. Seven, A few seats down in the corner was a little girl sitting by herself with another employee sitting next to her to making she was alright. She would just politely nod and said thank you or something and send the employee off on her way. Eight, a man leaning on the door of the car; he was defiantly a traveler wondering around that had a little too much to drink, and alcohol still in hand proved this point. His unshaved beard and horrible scent would back that up. She looks around for a moment and counted nine as she saw the last man. He sat alone a bit away from the couple with his head on the ice cold glass looking outward at the cool spring scenery.
Content with this she nodded to herself and walking into the car ahead opening a closing the door behind her. The man lifted his head from the window and turned slightly to look out at the other passengers. He sighed slightly ran his hand though his short spiky black hair while he smiled a little at the innocents of the children, such a beautiful sight. It reminded him of all the times when he was child and would run about without a care in the world. He could remembered vivid the other children calling out his name “Levis” over and over again as they played by river. To Levis he couldn’t tell why anyone would get upset at such a sight. Their mother couldn’t say the same as she attempted to get them to stop embarrassing her by make a scene. She reached out to grab them as her daughter sitting next to the window took a swing at her son. He quick jumped out of his seat and flew across the aisle to get away only to bump into the back of the male from the couple. He quickly spun around and stood up pushing the boy into the aisle in to process and stood over him “HEY” he grunted angrily at him “What do you think your doing?”. The little boy looked at him knocked into the aisle and tears quickly filled his eyes and he sat there frozen. Before his mother could even get up to defend him his girlfriend jumped out of the set and ran to the little boy’s aid. She knelled down next to him “Hey, hey” she said sweetly to him “It’s ok”. She glared back at her boyfriend and for a moment he stood there somewhat uncomfortable and complete defeated. The mother smiled softly as the boy ran back to his mother and sat quietly.
The old man in front of them had woken up from the crash “Well, well” he said slowly not being able to talk very fast due to his age “Looks like someone will make a fine wife someday” the girls in the midst standing up started blushing faintly and quickly went back to her seat “and you” he continued turning his attention to the older boy “You should be ashamed of yourself.”. The boy stood in the aisle complete uncomfortable now at the comments that were being thrown at him. The traveler had noticed him being attacked and had slowly stumbled over and put his arm around the boys neck in a friendly drunken headlock “Oh come on!” he said though his slurs of the alcohol “He’s just trying to have fun with his woman” while pointing to the girlfriend with the that also had the alcohol in it. He stood there completely devastated with uncomfortably and queasiness from the traveler’s stench as he looked around looking for someone else to come to his aid to save him from his aid.
Levis was the only on not to engage in this conversation but just chuckled softly as he looked them with his arms crossed. The little girl continued to sit by herself in the corner shyly not trying to even get into such a conversation. The drunken man turned to him still having the boy in a headlock “What’re you laughing at?” he said as he let him go and started staggering towards him. The boy free from the grip of the drunken fury quickly sat down next to his girlfriend and stayed quiet but as he started down there was a large crash from the next car. Everyone turn there attention to the door of the next car puzzled as a few people got up to see what was happening. The door to the car ahead suddenly burst open so fast that the door actually flew completely off its hinges and landed in an empty booth. The steel door dug into the seat with a loud crash and though it. A young man with blonde hair stepped though the door. He had on what seemed to be a rundown pale green army uniform with a small black badge like crest on his chest, rundown boots and a sword in a sheath on his waist. He looked around for a moment and was quickly followed by another man wearing the same thing “LISTEN UP!” he shouted “This train is now under the control of Rettung!” The smaller children quivered in fear and hugged their mother closely as she held them close to her.
“Huh?!” the traveler exclaimed in his drunken fury as he turned to face him barley able to still stand from his alcohol. “This train is under the control of Rettung, move to the back of the train!” the other man behind him shouted. The mother grabbed her children and slowly got out of their chair to move to the back like he said while the others just watch. “Who do you think you are?” the traveler continued. “That doesn’t matter to someone like you.” the man at the door said as he slowly being to walk in and served the train by looking around. The traveler become infuriated at this comment and charge him in his wobble state, the old man tried to reach out to stop him but couldn’t reach in time. He cut downward at him with his bottle in his right hand and the man reached upward with his left arm outward and hit the travelers forearm with his as he swung down. The man's arm rocketed forward and smashed the traveler in the face forcing him to soar halfway down the aisle and drop his bottle on impact. The mother and children flinched and hugged her children closely while letting out a small cry. The older boy only stared in fear unable to move as he tried to comfort his girlfriend again. The man caught the bottle in mid-air “Anyone else?” he said with his cocky attitude looking around with his intense eyes not bother to turn his head.
The mother, her children, the old man, the couple, and Levis started walking to the back of train. The other organization member walk over the little girl who didn’t seem to be doing much and grabbed her yellow dress and part of her long red hair and tugged her out of the seat. “Come on!” he grunted at her bring her out of her seat painfully and making her cry a bit. Everyone slowly walked to the back of the train as the first member picked up and dragged the traveler who inspire of a serious blood nose started to fight back again in which he smashed the bottle over his head and tossed it aside. The member uncaringly dragged the incapacitated traveler to the last car of the train.
The room was solid cold metal and dark because there were little lights at all just a few windows with storage of boxes filled with goods. The members lead the people gripped by terror to the back of this room and told them to stay put if they wanted to live. Gradually more and more people from the front of the train and the staff were lead to the back and soon the whole train was there, by this time the smell of blood had filled the room from the traveler’s horrible head wound. Everyone gathered around and huddle together the rich and the poor from the train it didn’t matter in a situation like this. Fear grew though group, question tossed around like: What’s going on, what going to happen to us, and are they going to kill us? The mother and her children began crying along with the girl being comforted poorly by her boyfriend. The smell of the rancid blood made one of the rich men vomited in the corner. The little girl sat in the corner still by herself hugging her knees. Levis watched the members leave the room again and though to himself for a moment. Some of the richer people were going crazy from the shear fear and almost attacking each other by this point. Levis couldn’t help but sigh slightly at what the situation had turned into as he looked around at the people; he was the only one still standing up though this. Guess I have to do something about it he though to himself as he turned and walked to the door. The guard shot him a look as he approached with his hand ready on his sword, his hand shock slightly as he waited to see if he would be forced to strike him. Levis took a quick step forward as a feint and the guard began to lung at him but was swiftly tripped by Levis’s right leg as it bolted forward and in the midst of failing he cracked the guard in the back of the head with his elbow. The guard slammed into the ground knocked out in what seemed to be one swift motion of him just walking by. Uproar quickly came over the people “What are you mad?!” “What are you doing?!” people cried “Do you want to get us killed?!” Without saying much Levis simple turned around “Don’t worry I’ll take care of it” he said with a smirk on his face as he walked to the window opened it and jumped onto rail of the window. “What are you trying to do?” a rich man inquired quickly before he could leave. “I’ll be right back” he said as he twisted his top half out the window grab the side of the train and quickly pulled himself up to the top of it. The rich man came bolting after him looking up and out of the window after him “You’ll get us all killed!” he yelled after him but he was on the top of the train and out of sight.
Levis sat crouched down on the top of the train; he had heard the other man yell at him. He sighed again slightly under his breath, could he even do something like this, or was he just getting in over his head again, he though to himself. Too late to turn back now he though to himself, may as well see it though. He started moving up the train having to keep crouched down so the wind didn’t send him soaring off the train. He jumped to the next car and continued to be over come with thought; all I should have to do is take out the leader Levis though. Although the wind has harsh and he his vision has hard he still moved on slowly. He stopped and though for a moment while looking out at the view as the train started ascending the mountain. A tall rock face came right up next to the left side of the train and seemed a bit frightening, almost as if they were about to crash into it. He kept moving again; not running into any trouble so far gave me more time to think, the leader should be in a car to the front and since the guard at the door was no good he could win this…right, he though in uncertainty.
He shook his head casting out his thoughts of disbelief that would get him nowhere at all, just cause everyone on this train’s and his death. As he got near the front his fear had become a reality, three men sitting on the top of the train two cars ahead. They all wore the uniform same as the men earlier and they all carried a weapon of their own. Two of the members had simple black hair and carried a sword on there side as they sat with what seemed to be the leader of the three. The third on looked a bit more dangerous he was completely bald and had an x-shaped scar on his right check, he carried a simple axe. As he got closer to them they didn’t seem to notice him at all which mad moving for the time being quite easy. As he jumped the last car between them with only the length of a car away they finally started to notice him. The third one seemed to be amused at someone fighting back though his followers seemed a bit scared at first. He seemed to smack them both in the back of the head and they turn him and started to move towards him, weapons drawn. They moved slowly across the car one foot shifting after the other keeping themselves down to avoid the catching the wind also. The man quickly patted down his blue robe like outfit and pulled out the sword he had to hide in it that had been poking at him the whole ride so far. It seemed kind of bad to smuggle such a thing but would there be any other way to take such a thing.
As the two guys got closer they seemed to be almost laughing, Levis hesitated as it looked as if they were enjoying something like this; It truly scared him little bit. He cast these thoughts away again and charged forward. He quickly partied the left mans sword and forced him back and than swiftly kicked the other man with his right boot but as he stood on one foot the train shook and his quickly fell onto his left side, did they hit something or was something going on inside? The kicked one fell fast hitting the train hard and slipped of the mountainless side and caught the side of the train hanging on for what his dear life was worth. The boss of the two didn’t looked too happy as he saw he’d have to get work as he slowly got up and started over to the fight. The one on the side kept screaming in an ear shattering panic as he tried to claw himself up. The left one quickly regained his balance and hacked his sword downward at the helpless Levis. He quickly blocked it with his sword and in a feeble power struggle pushed back with all the might his body could muster. He quickly found himself getting up slowly again struggling to even move the clashing steel. The man’s eyes widened as he fell back quickly and the member got swept away by a branch coming out of the mountain wall. The man screaming for his life was quickly carried away by a branch of his own as they both hung stuck in a branch, it seemed like vegetation was on his side Levis though for a moment.
Levis quickly stood up and as the member thrust his axe down at him. He dogged to the left and sliced out at him. The member blocked the sword with the handle and pushed him to the side of the train. Levis quickly noticed his back was to raging wall now. They both ran foreword again and clashed once more but his time Levis tried to trip him like the guard walking slightly passed him. The member unluckily didn’t trip but stumble as he quickly regained his foot turned around and slashed back at him. Levis quickly blocked his attack again just barley as the axe got clue enough to leave a small cut on his face. He felt the cold steel cut his skins enough that he could feel blood and fear as he pushed back. Levis felt his arms shake and grow weaker as it seemed he was about to over the edge as he quickly mustered all of his strength and swiftly slammed back with everything he had. The member stumbled back again and than the train shook again extremely violently this time and the member fell back fully. The man closed his eye and put his arm in front of his eyes as he could see what the next step would be.
The member got his leg caught hard in the train top as his body arched back and his head hit the jagged rock surface. As the man shield his eyes as much as he could though he could still hear an ear shattering scream that sent chills down his spine and into his very core. He slowly lowered his arm to see what appeared to be a lot of blood all over where he once stood and body about to fall off the side of the train. Levis could see the head had been scraped away as if someone had sanded his head down to the bone. The body quickly fell off the train as the man help back his urge to puke at such a sight and most amount of blood he had yet to see. Despite feeling queasy he continued on only to be tormented by his thoughts again. That wasn’t really his fault; he didn’t kill anyone, did he, he argued with himself in his head. He put his fingers to his forehead and clamed himself as he slowly counted to ten to clam himself and moved on.
By the time he reached the front of the train they train had started over the forest again on elevated track. The view had finally changed and would have been quite nice if he weren’t in such a grave situation. Levis just tried to enjoy the view while he could for now even with the wind blowing intensely in his face. He could hear commotion inside the train but it didn’t seem to be much until now, and why hadn’t anyone come up here at all as if they didn’t hear the screams? He went to the side on the train and crawled down the edge enough to let him look though the window being careful not to fall to a horrible fate. The car was different than the ones in the back, this one was empty it didn’t have anything but windows and two doors mostly like used to separate the front from the passengers. There were a bunch of men running around and one that stood out the most. He had short silver hair and his uniform didn’t look rundown like any of the others. Most of all he had a few badges and he didn’t seem to have crappy weapon. As the commotion started to stop all the men but the leader ran to the back of the train for what ever reason; a perfect chance he thought, so he deiced to take it. He crashed though the window feet first sword drawn and struck out at the leader though the glass. The leader pulled his sword forth still in its sheath to block his futile attempt to get him. He grinned slightly “A trouble maker, eh?” he said softly under his breath to himself.
As the clash went on the man noticed what he didn’t though the glass, the leader had more muscle than him; a lot more he was basically ripped. Levis quickly felt like he was out of his league again. He felt himself gradually being pushed back, he was in a bad position and he knew this wouldn’t end well. He quickly jumped back and as the leader charged he shifted and dashed forward and clashed with him as he stepped past him again not trying to pointless trip him. The leader slowly walked to the left in a circle and Levis started the same motion as they stared at each other with their weapons draw at each other. “So more people who oppose Rettung? You may as well accept your fate; things will change slowly but surely” The leader bolted forward and clashed with Levis’s sword again “I don’t know what you mean by that but you can’t hurt random people for you crappy idles” Levis yelled back at him angrily as they excreted force on each other in a massive clash. “People like you that can’t see the problems just need to die” Levis felt his sword slightly crack his eyes glued to that point of the sword, If my sword breaks I’m dead he though to himself.
Seeing this the leader smirked again “Don’t worry once my ideals are realized a few sacrifices won’t mean much” his sword yet again cracked again, at any moment he’d be defenseless. Levis could feel himself sweat as bleak thoughts ran his mind “Though I’d don’t think you’ll live to see that day” the leader said as the sword cracked for the third time it was amazing it was even holding together but this had to be the end. The leader’s eyes widened as he looked past Levis for a second at the back cars behind the man “Yri chelg!” The sound shrieked though the car as a loud bang and a streak of light move passed Levis and slammed into the leader as he flew down the car and smashed into wall. Levis fell straight backwards on his ass and sighed in relief as he looked behind him to find what the hell that was.
The little girl who was traveling by herself stood in the doorway with her right hand extended and smoking rising from it. Levis couldn’t believe what he saw, an evil grin on her face “too easy” she said sighing as she walk foreword. He could see her dress was slight scuffed and some guards laying face down in the car behind, did she take them out!? He stared at her almost shaking in fear even if she was an ally. As she walked forward he could see in her hair in the light for what it really was: Crimson red, the color of blood. She stop half way down the car and turned to the man “You alright?” she asked not bothering to turn her head to him. How could she take them all out he couldn’t stop thinking as he stared at how she was only a little taller than him as he sat. The girl took her attention off the leader for a moment as she turned to his shaking existence “Hey, you alright”. Levis gulped and nodded slightly but in this distraction the lead charged forward at him despite his new ravaging burn on his chest. The girl moved slightly raising her hand out and moving her body into position to counter him but as she did this Levis instinctively jumped foreword at her to push her out of the way, leaving himself in the way to get hit. “Idiot” the girl growled out at him as she grabbed the back of his robe and pulled him out of the way and turned around herself quickly to try and face him. Levis hit the floor hard but everything went silent for the next moment. A splash of blood splattered all across the ground and over Levis. The leader stood his sword in his hand with the little girl stood impaled on it as her body suspended in mid air. Her body arched downward as the blood slowly trickled down from her body onto the sword and fell to the ground in drops creating small puddles. Some drops were even falling off her hair and fell onto her dress with was quickly soaking up the blood and turning red. They both stared at the horrible sight neither able to move or look away in their state.
“Yri chelg!” the words shot out again from the little girl and this time Levis could clearly witness what happened this time. From the girls hand a ball of lighting quickly formed and crackled loudly as it shot forth and dug itself into the leader again as he went smashing back once more. The leader hand let go of his sword this time and the girl begin to fall. Regardless of the trauma of the sight and her blood on his face he tried to jump foreword to catch her. Levis didn’t make it in time as the girl landed perfectly on her feet and slowly moved her head upward again “like I said too easy” she said her back to him though he could tell she was probably smirking again. She grabbed the sword in her and slowly pulled in out. Levis could hear it cutting though her flesh and squishy noisy of it. The girl simply tossed the bloody sword to the side and to Levis’s amazement she had particle no wound and what little was left was healing at an inhuman rate. The fear in the leaders face was coming out now, he looked as though he was about to wet himself as he clawed at the door to escape. The door open and he stumbled out screaming as he climbed up onto the car with the girl chasseing after him. Levis being confused out of his mind quickly picked up his broken sword and followed the two. He stumbled up onto the car barley keeping up with them “What’s going on? Who the hell are you?” he asked being ignored.
The leader kneed on the other side his hands over his burns and the girl stood on the end closer to the man “Well, the leader of Rettung guess you had to get caught some time” she said talking a step foreword. “Hold on!” the leader screamed as Levis started crawling farther down the car to them “W-why don’t you join us” he gestured “we could use you”. The girl smirked again at him her cockiness showing “And become your little pet” she repaired taking another step forward “Sorry but next time I see you it’ll be in hell”. “Wait” the leader yelled out again now holding what seemed a detonator. He quickly jumped back onto the next car “Got to have a plan B, right? Guess I will see you in hell” he said pushing the putting and the wheels on the car she was standing on blasted off and the car started slowly tilting off. She began running foreword at him but as Levis screamed holding onto the car for dear life as he had been ignored though out the whole chat. The car had reached a 45 degree angle as it was falling off the elevated tracks but she turned around and quick ran at him “Damn it” She screamed as she ran back to him the car falling straight off the tracks and free falling into the forest below. In the end Levis had never been more confused in his life and had never felt like he knew so little about the world. What was really Rettung and who in the hell was this girl?


Well this is the part where I saw OMFG you mad it to the end or you cheated to get down here. For thoese who made it /omg /thx for reading trying to make it alittle like a real book. and for thoese who cheated /fsh get your lazy self back up there and read no nicess for you /pif
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Othnieus
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wow... that was a lot of reading, good on ya fer writting all that, heheh. but i still have some things that must be said. First off, who is this levis? i heard referances to swords and magic, but they were on a train, is this an RO fan fic? or just a work of fiction? also, what does the title mean? what significance does it hold? Also, you should watch your tenses, should try to keep it in past tense. other than that, just some mispelled words and punctuation mistakes, but then again, we all make those unless we are grammer teachers... oh wait, they do it too, lol. Anyway, it was a bit needlessly bloody for me, just not my thing. Anyway, hurry up and write the second chapter so i can figure what the heck the first chapter was about! also... shorter chapters would be appreciated, that was hard work! /swt
kthxbai

:EDIT:
Oh! p.s. i hate you for not reading and commenting on my fic first, lol.
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Chaos Balmung
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Yeah it was alot to type and in case youve never actilly watched my spell on ro you can tell i suck at it. Its not a ro fan fic (not see the point in that orginal is alot more fun). Evinith is the name of the other main charter (the girl) though you dont know that yet. As for being overly bloody, you can do that huh? Well the story is peaful for like the next 2 chapters (paln things out in my head, what else am i to do during school)

Still cant bevile you read it all /omg /thx

Levis WAS an orginal name i came up with til i has walking though the mall after pirates 3 and a story caught my eye. Levis a jean company, my first though **** well there was a bad words.
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Othnieus
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Well, it depends on the crowd it goes out to, for some people, there is no such thing as too much blood, sex, gore, or violence. so hey, it all depends on your definition of "too much"
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Loke
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Ok.. im not reading that before you make some paragrafs!! damn.. thats a lot of tex in one go..
http://elinhime.deviantart.com/
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http://elinhime.deviantart.com/
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Chaos Balmung
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Quote:
 
Ok.. im not reading that before you make some paragrafs!! damn.. thats a lot of tex in one go..


Ok i guesse thats good thing. You should have seen what bal said before i put in what litte paragraphs there are heh.

Yeah oth yeah its true though for me it depends on a few things. Dont mix sex and violence that just weird but blood and violence is good as long as its not sensless and for all the wrong reasons. Hmm not sure if my story in the first chapter backs that up all.
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Othnieus
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Vega Lyon, on sex and violence : ".........Some like it rough...." /gg
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JennaPerson
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Still 1 letter off to having a name of my character ;P

Wow....I haven't really been keeping up with +FR+ o_o I feel like Part 7 needs more work...Oh well! :D
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