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A story
Topic Started: May 21 2007, 03:25 PM (188 Views)
green tea
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It's not finished yet. :3 it's a little depressing but read if you would like. ANY criticism would greatly benefit the writer ^^..

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The future… A portrait of perfection that did not come to be as the humans thought it would be. They did not foresee the destruction of their own race. Their technology had sustained them, but it was not enough. There were too many people to support and not enough necessities to keep them going. Soon, a terrible disease came to be. As the destruction of their race continued, desperate scientists took to great lengths to stop it. Any medical advancement that was made saved a great many people. Eventually, the population became stable again as the disease was gradually wiped out. Unfortunately, the humans wouldn’t be able to regain their abundance again. During the great many years that the humans advanced in science, they found many different life forms. Now, humans were not the most intelligent, athletic, or the greatest animals to roam the earth. In fact, they seemed to be mediocre in some aspects of comparison. What could have been so great a thing to change their position? They were beings from a whole different world of their own.

-Him-
Phenyx, the greatest floating city to be was now in ruins and dust. Its impressive buildings had now crumbled and their steel reinforcements were bent and deformed. They looked like giant claws reaching out towards the clouded black sky. Phenyx’s once great tower looked like it had been ripped in half and placed at its center to look like a falling cross. The city itself looked like a dismal and dark place haunted by the souls of those who had died there. If it looks that way, then of course, it shouldn’t be called Phenyx anymore. Its name shouldn’t even relate to the fiery bird phoenix that would rise from its own ashes. Instead, it should be called its old and dreary name, Ledun.
Inma looked at Ledun in distaste. Inma was a Latavian. Latavians were easily distinguished by their red and black eyes, along with their white hair. They were inhumanly strong and fast despite their human likeness. His race had come from a different part of the galaxy. Inma’s red eyes traced the outline of the city until it met the crumbling remnants of the bridge that connected Ledun to the rest of the world. His black clothes and scarf blended into the darkness while his white hair was distinct among the dark scenery. He gave a look of distaste and then turned towards the direction of the bridge. He walked up the stairs onto the side walk as he glanced down at the dock with its murky and dark waters. Then he looked at the shadowy towers of the fallen city. Its demeanor was like that of a monster lurking in the darkness ready to strike an enemy down. He walked slowly towards his destination with the appearance of a person who was thinking of what he was going to do. While he was lost in thought, he had come to the bridge. He looked at its washed out colors that the stones used to hold. Its nooks and crannies were filled with dirt from the now frequent rain the area. While he was still looking at its diminished grandness, he noticed an officer standing in front of him looking at him expectantly. The officer wore a blue uniform with the distinct yellow badge on his right chest. Inma looked up and stared coldly at the officer which caused him to flinch. The officer had been daunted, but knowing his duties held out his hand for papers that said he could cross. Inma looked at the hand and then slowly took out a piece of paper and handed it to the officer. He then, without the officer’s consent, headed on into the destroyed city of Ledun.

-Her-
Thorn lay in the remains of her home. Her room had been charred black by fire, and all the things she owned were burned to a crisp. Even the clothes she wore were blackened with grime, ash, and were tattered. Her home had almost been burned to the ground, but she lay there, sobbing quietly in the dark. Everyone she had known, her friends and relatives, were killed. Her whole life of memories, destroyed in a mere few seconds. They were gone forever because of the war that had practically decimated everything in the city. She was one of the few survivors that had lived after the terrible war, but instead of leaving, she chose to stay alone. She slowly got up and wiped her eyes that were red from crying. Her long ears were limp as if they did not wish to hear the world. Her auburn colored eyes and hair flowed out behind her as she stepped into the street. The wind wafted around her and the smell of fire surrounded her. She dismissed it and instead walked. She walked past the town statue, which was of a phoenix rising up towards the sky with its wings outspread, and walked to the edge of the city where the world fell below. She stepped on the very edge and looked down into the seemingly bottomless and black ocean. She contemplated if she should commit suicide. The wind blew behind her as if it seemed like it was urging her forward into the watery depths of its open grave far below for her. It seemed to almost look like it was welcoming her. She took a breath and was about to drop to her escape when a hand grabbed her from behind and pulled her back from the edge. She struggled violently against the hands, but weak from hunger, she soon stopped. It seemed like fate had chosen for Thorn, and when she thought that exact thought, she passed out from exhaustion.

The world it turns, and turns, and turns…
The Endless sky does not heed or yearns…
The things we do it keeps us back…
But we do search for, the things we lack…

-Him-
Inma walked into the city’s soot laden street and paced towards the square when he noticed a girl slowly walking towards the edge of the city. He hid behind the remains of a chair and on closer inspection, noticed she was an Arowen. He could easily tell because of her auburn hair, her eyes, and the obvious giveaway of her long ears. She was slender and her head was hanging low. Her clothes were ragged and she seemed to be listless. He continued to follow her and when she stopped, it was at the very edge of the abyss. He realized what she was doing and he bolted towards her as she was about to fall forward. He quickly grabbed her and pulled her back, and in the few moments that he held her, she struggled in his arms. But she struggled meekly and slowly her movement stopped. He became alarmed and laid her on her back and quickly checked if she was breathing. She was. He sighed and looked at her face. Her hair looked like it had been cut with abandon, but still looked elegant. She was breathing slowly and he noticed she was actually very pretty despite the grime that was on her. He turned away from her and sat down next to her thinking of where to take her. He cursed at the thought of having to take her to a hospital, but he knew he couldn’t leave her here or else risk she try to commit suicide again. He finally decided then to carry her, so he gingerly picked her up and carried her out of the city of Ledun.
The officer that had stopped him before looked at him strangely when he noticed he was carrying a seemingly unconscious girl. He gaped after them, but didn’t try to stop them. He knew it would just be more trouble for himself. Inma avoided the crowded streets, not wanting to attract attention that he didn’t need. It would probably seem like something it shouldn’t be, and there was also the possibility that he could be flagged down by the police. Inma was sure he didn’t need the extra stress and work. He was already busy as it was. He quickly darted into the ally ways taking the quickest, but also the most deserted ways to the hospital. Inma slowed down when he neared the sign of the building’s logo of a bold red cross in the center of a circle. Inma was glad to see the sign because it meant the hospital was close by. He quickly crossed the street and walked a block more to finally come to the entrance of St. Joanne’s hospital. The hospital was large and was all white except the logo, which was red. The front doors were made of glass and as Vires approached the door, it quickly opened automatically to the main floor where a desk and a human receptionist was sitting and waiting for any patients. She was busily typing something on the computer when she noticed Inma come in. The receptionist became worried when she saw the girl on his back. She quickly paged a carrier to be brought immediately to the front desk along with two nurses. Then she promptly turned to her computer again and touched the screen. The computer made a clicking noise and a new form was opened in midair in front of the lady. She then quickly asked Inma what the girl’s name was and what had happened.
“I don’t know” replied Inma “but all I know is that she was a survivor of the city of Ledun. She is also an Arowen, but that’s all I know. I just stopped her from committing suicide.”
The receptionist quickly wrote down what had happened and while she had been doing that, a stretcher had been brought along with the two nurses in white uniforms with the hospital’s logo on their caps. The receptionist quickly handed the information chart to the first nurse who quickly helped the girl onto the floating stretcher and then wheeled her off into an elevator. The receptionist looked up at Inma and smiled kindly.
“We will call you when we find out how she is doing and if she is well enough to have visitors. Can we please have a number that is convenient for us to be able to contact you immediately?”
Inma looked at her a little hesitant to give them his number because he didn’t know who the girl was, but finally deciding it would be ok, put out his hand and waved it between two metallic rods which then clicked several times.
“Thank you, we will call you later.” She said smiling pleasantly as Inma exited the hospital wondering if he should have left his number.

-Her-
Thorn awoke to the whiteness of a sterile hospital room. She turned her head to find IV’s in her arm and fresh new hospital clothes on her. Her face had been wiped off and the cuts and bruises on her body were treated and bandaged. She felt the soft pillow under her head and the warm blankets on top of her. She slowly sat up, looking around to determine where she was. The room seemed familiar to her, but she could not figure out why it was. Then she remembered. This was St. Joanne’s Hospital. This was the very same hospital she had been taken to when she had become very ill one day with a virus. Her parents had rushed in with her in their arms and then she didn’t remember anything after that except a heavy black mist clouding her mind. When the mist had lifted, she woke up to a white room, and her parents sitting next to her holding her hand with a relieved smile on their face. It was almost the same thing, except her parents weren’t there and she was in a slightly more different room. She felt her eyes begin to tear. She hastily wiped her eyes and blocked the memories from her mind. She then turned and slid off the bed and slowly pulled the IV’s out of her arm, wincing with pain when they came out. She walked towards the window and looked outside. It was almost noon. The sun had started to set and the cars and trucks and motorcycles slowly started to dissipate. They would either be heading towards home or to work. She marveled at how different Ourook was compared to Phenyx before the war. The cars in Phenyx were hover cars. Everything in Phenyx could fly. But here, it seemed like the cars that sped by had wheels or could only hover a few meters above the ground. A Majority of the buildings were also the same looking. They were white or round with long rectangular windows on their sides. They didn’t have impressive towers or giant monuments at all it seemed. But then again, Phenyx had been the most advanced city for its time, while most were trying to catch up; Phenyx had been a step ahead. Well…Phenyx used to be the most technological city until the war came and ravaged the city. She sighed and closed the curtains as the sun set and darkness engulfed the city. She didn’t want to think about her ravaged home. She walked towards the door and pressed the open button, but the door didn’t budge. Instead a red light flashed on the button she had pushed. It was locked and she knew that unless she had a key she would be unable to leave. She didn’t want to face reality anyways, so instead, she went back to the bed to sleep. She wanted to pretend that she was just having a horrible and long dream. She wanted to be able to still remember the days when everyone was happy. When everyone was with her, and when everyday had been taken for granted. She just wanted to sleep, and sleep, and sleep, and hold off the nightmares that were lurking right next to her.
There was the sound of rushing air, and then a click. Thorn opened her eyes slowly and saw a Noratokin nurse pleasantly smiling at her and holding a tray. She handed Thorn a hot tray of food and then quietly left her to eat. Thorn looked at the food dismissively. She had been hungry, but she did not think much of it. In her mind, she had more pressing things to deal with that were slowly creeping its way into her mind. Like poison, it would soon creep into every crevice and she would soon despair. Despite her nonchalant thought about the food, she slowly started to eat. It would help her forget, if only for a few moments. She didn’t care if hospital food tasted bad or not. If it was something to make reality fade at least a little, she would do it. Hot food and a nice place to sleep did not matter to her either. If it didn’t help the reality of life recede, she didn’t care about it. After she was done eating the food on the tray, she noticed fresh towels were put on the chair next to door. She touched her hair and face and realized how filthy she was. She slowly got out of bed again and walked towards the towel. She picked them up and went into the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror. It was someone else’s face. A face that felt the world had destroyed her. She laughed at herself. “Oh, how pitiful have I become?” she said as she sneered at herself. After she had taken a good look at herself, she pushed aside the shower curtain and turned the handle to start the water.

Your mind it spins, and spins, and spins…
The reels in your mind they wonder and wonder…
“What have I done? What have I done?”…
Oh please, oh please, do not sunder me or strike me…

You just read close to 4 pages of writing in 12 font not dbl spaced :D If you guys think you wnana read more of it, the writer will try to keep typing up the story.
~Green Tea~ - 9x H. Priest
~ S o u l ~ - 9x Sin X
Soul of Shadows - 8x Champion
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Rynette
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I think this story is well written and i would like to read more of it. I really like the way the story is divided into secitons? about Him and Her. Inma and Thorn both sound like very interesting characters to me. Probs to the writer for this work of art.
Some call it stalking, I call it love.
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Kigatilik
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I sure want to read some more, It is a really good story with great well described characters. It was really easy to picture. ^^
I dont read much, but i read what i like, and i like this. So have this... writer... type up some more ;D




Go Juleh~!
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green tea
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lol jake XP kudos for teh writer..i tell to write to more then eheh.
~Green Tea~ - 9x H. Priest
~ S o u l ~ - 9x Sin X
Soul of Shadows - 8x Champion
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green tea
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next part of the story...

-Him-
Inma had been walking around the convenience store to see what he wanted to eat, when he heard a beeping sound coming from his ear phone. The ear phone projected a small blue screen on his right eye and showed the logo of St. Joanne’s hospital with an incoming call message. He put his hand to his ear phone and received the voice of the receptionist saying that the girl had recovered and if he would like to visit her to come to the hospital. He replied that he would and headed out of the store towards the hospital. Inma walked slowly thinking of what to say and to ask her and why he had decided to visit a complete stranger. It was strange that a girl like her would be a runaway and live in a deserted town where nothing could be used. And, he thought to himself, Arowens are rather intelligent and noble. They wouldn’t degrade themselves either. She must be a survivor of the war in Ledun then…but, why would she have stayed? Then he recalled her attempt at suicide and realized that everybody she knew must have been killed in the war. How sad… He thought to himself. He looked up at the sky and contemplated what would happen if that same fate had happened to him. He imagined he would have done the same thing as her. He looked down again and saw the same sign as to when he had carried her to the hospital. He quickly headed towards the door and walked in. The receptionist looked up and smiled again. She told him the room number and he went into the elevator to the room 304B. Inma looked at the buttons on the elevator pad and pushed the button 300B, which lighted up upon his touch. The elevator’s glass doors promptly closed with a whoosh, and behind him, the scene rushed past him in a blur of shapes. The blur of cars, the blur of people and just the general blur of life. The life that he did not so easily partake in. The elevator slowed and Vires slowly walked to the room and walked in. It was empty. He looked around the white room. The bed was ruffled and the food was partially eaten. He looked around and noted the steam coming from one room. He decided to wait and sat down on a chair to greet her when she would come out.


-Her-
Thorn looked at him strangely and stood there in a minute of silence. She didn’t know how to react to this stranger. She had to assume this was her rescuer, but was she thankful, or anguished? To have been given another chance, or a death she chose herself ruined by this stranger? Emotions quailed and fought in her mind. She felt compelled to be angry and miserable, but it did not befit an Arowen to such fits and bouts. Instead she bit back her angry remarks and with a strain and managed to say a thank you. She should have said it with more feel, but her miserable stature did not agree at all with the way she felt. She knew her attempt to thank him was meek and more accusing than thankful. The Latavian studied her for a second and nodded his reply that he understood, but she felt she had accused him much more than she had thought. This was because when he had looked at her in the eyes, she saw a flickering sadness and pain. Guilt now wrought her.

-Him-
He felt the irregularity that she emanated when she saw him. When he looked into her face, he could tell she was wrought with raging emotions. He understood. He had saved her, but she could hate him for taking away the chance of dying peaceably without his interruption, instead of facing a lonely life alone. He felt guilty now that he had done something he maybe should not have tried to do. He changed someone’s future, maybe for the better, but still, that person might have an unchanged and angry soul. He looked straight into her eyes, and underneath her thrashing emotions, he felt a loneliness and sadness unbound. He felt stricken. When he saw her struggle to say thank you to him, he felt a rushing wave of anguish for her. Even though, she was angry at him, she still thanked him though he felt that she was much more miserable and angry than grateful. She had little gratitude in her, but she understood his deed. She was indeed as noble as another race would depict for an Arowen. He thought.

-Her-
She turned her head away guiltily and looked outside as the sun had set and now a shadow had befallen the white city. She saw the red and blue flickering lights whiz past the window. Tail lights looked like long streamers of bright colors bursting to life and then fading quickly away as the vehicle sped towards its destination. She felt like her life was like the tail lights of those cars. A good life, that was at its brightest color, and then faded away as suddenly as it had come. Everything that had happened to her lasted as long as the blazing colors. Mere moments, mere seconds, but why was I still here then? Why? Why? Why? Why only me? Is this punishment? For taking life granted and then having an accursed fate to live life alone? To suffer? I don’t understand. Nothing makes sense anymore, but does it matter? After all, if I am to face life alone, I would rather die than live a cold life.
She was lost in thought, when the Latavian spoke to her.

-Him-
He had been watching her in silence. Her expressions changed and differed from what she thought. The most apparent was still anger and sadness. He knew he was breaking into her thoughts, but he needed to know.
“What will you do?” A simple enough question, but so many answers to such a question. Therefore, making it quite a difficult question. Her answer, though, sounded like a desperate and an angry person’s response. Not at all like an Arowen may have answered.

-Her-
His question startled her. His quiet, but strong voice asked, “What will you do?” She stood for a second in silence and answered.
“Die.” There was a stunned silence. He had a surprised look upon his face. She hated it. Don’t look so surprised…! She shouted in her head.

-Him and Her-
He was utterly surprised by her answer. “Die”? What was she talking about? Committing suicide again? Even though I came and saved her? Was my effort such a small and trifle thing that it was not worth even a second of thought? He felt his anger rise. Even if her previous life was in ruin, shouldn’t she at least try to strive for something else? He noticed that she seemed to be boring into him with a knowing hatred. He felt he had given away his reply with his astonished look. He hated that he she had detected his astonishment. He hated it when people knew what he was thinking.
Her anger swelled violently. She felt hatred upon the world. She felt hatred upon this person who had twisted his way into her life. She absolutely hated it. Hate, hate, hated it!!!
“It’s your fault! Your fault!” she shouted suddenly at him as her anger unleashed. “Your fault for twisting it this way! You shouldn’t even exist! You’re a horrible person! Your, your-…! I can’t even stand to see you!!!” She screamed. And as suddenly as she had started, she was done. She turned away quickly. She felt like she was going to break. She felt small in the world. She felt she was the only one in the world. She wanted to disappear. She trembled involuntarily as her tears welled and she felt them fall down her cheek in clear globules of liquid. “You…you shouldn’t even have tried to save somebody as miserable and illogical as I am…” she said in a wavering voice. “One less person in the world…Would it have mattered if one miserable little person disappeared?” She felt tired.
~Green Tea~ - 9x H. Priest
~ S o u l ~ - 9x Sin X
Soul of Shadows - 8x Champion
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