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Personal Ad Translator
Topic Started: Mar 13 2008, 01:26 PM (108 Views)
Saxon
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DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish....................... 49
Adventurous ....................Slept with everyone
Athletic ............................No tits
Average looking................Ugly
Beautiful...........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..............Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure.............On medication
Feminist ...........................Fat
Free spirit ........................Junkie
Friendship first ..................Former very *friendly* person
Fun...................................Annoying
New Age............................Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded......................Desperate
Outgoing............................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate..........................Sloppy drunk
Professional........................Bitch
Voluptuous..........................Very Fat
Large frame........................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate..................Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes =...................................No
2. No =..................................Yes
3. Maybe =..................................No
4. We need =...............................I want
5. I am sorry =.............................you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk =.......................you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead =.......................you better not
8. Do what you want =....................you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset =........................of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight =....is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = ............................I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = .............................I am sleepy
3. I am tired = .............................I am tired
4. Nice dress = ...............................Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = .............................let's have sex now
6. I am bored ; ;= .........................Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = .................I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = ............... I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = .........I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = .......I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = .....I'm gay

And finally...

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

:D
Faithful and True
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simple simon
One
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:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Just keep me away from women who are menstruating... :shooter:

Citizen of Planet Earth, living in the British Isles.
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