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| Why Women Should not Force Their Husbands to Shop | |
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| Topic Started: Jan 4 2008, 08:27 PM (119 Views) | |
| Saxon | Jan 4 2008, 08:27 PM Post #1 |
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Why Women Should not Force Their Husbands to Shop > > After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband > accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. > > Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring > and preferred to get in and get out. > > Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. > One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart. > > Dear Mrs. Fenton, > > Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a > commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be > forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. > Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. > > 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's > carts when they weren't looking. > > 2, July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at > 5-minute intervals. > > 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the > women's restroom. > > 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official > voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.' > > 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's > on layaway. > > 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. > > 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told > other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and > blankets from the bedding department. > > 8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began > crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' > > 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a > mirror while he picked his nose. > > 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he > asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. > > 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly > humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme. > > 12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna > look' by using different sizes of funnels. > > 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed > through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' > > 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he > assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' > > And last, but not least... > > 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited > awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!' > > Regards, > > Walmart |
| Faithful and True | |
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8:54 PM Jul 10