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Why Women Should not Force Their Husbands to Shop
Topic Started: Jan 4 2008, 08:27 PM (119 Views)
Saxon
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Why Women Should not Force Their Husbands to Shop

>
> After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband
> accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
>
> Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring
> and preferred to get in and get out.
>
> Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to
browse.
> One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local
Wal-Mart.
>
> Dear Mrs. Fenton,
>
> Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
> commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be
> forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
> Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras.
>
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's

> carts when they weren't looking.
>
> 2, July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
> 5-minute intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
> women's restroom.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
> voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'
>
> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's
> on layaway.
>
> 6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
area.
>
> 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
> other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
> blankets from the bedding department.
>
> 8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
> crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
>
> 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
> mirror while he picked his nose.
>
> 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
> asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
>
> 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
> humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
>
> 12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna
> look' by using different sizes of funnels.
>
> 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
> through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
>
> 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
> assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES
AGAIN!'
>
> And last, but not least...
>
> 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
> awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here!'
>
> Regards,
>
> Walmart
Faithful and True
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