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sneakin around; open
Tweet Topic Started: Dec 8 2006, 11:47 AM (82 Views)
Tavish Ashvale Dec 7 2006, 03:47 PM Post #1
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You can post your poetry in this thread. I allow comments and stuff like that. But If you don't like something. Don't comment on it, Absolutely no flaming. You can have a little constructed ctitcism But no mean comments.

ACCEPTABLE: "You could use a comma here. A little bad, You've had better."

DENIABLE AND WORTHY OF PUNISHMENT: " THAT POEM SUCKED! LEARN TO WRITE! "

Thank you...
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Regan Winter Dec 7 2006, 04:54 PM Post #2
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Butterflies

She was just 5 years old
A slightly moody day
She couldn't stay away from the river's edge
And I
I turned my back to count.
All the daffodil seeds that surrounded
I closed my eyes and then heard the water wake up
And I

I can still hear that scream.
It's still lingering
In the air,
Everywhere,
Mother please,
Save me
Grab my hand
I can't
I can still see that face
Sink beneath the waves.
Baby please breathe for me
Give me time I am here.
Where did you go?
Were did you go

Where the angels that lonely?
Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?
Can't everybody just lie to me?
She's home, she's home,
Crying for me now

Every night on a Monday
I will visit the same spot that I hate
Yes the place that baby loved
Now she can taste it
It took her away

It's been 5 years since then
And when it hits September
I feel like I'm dying again
They still won't even talk to me.
Talk to me

And as if this pain isn’t enough?
I can't even look out the window
Without seeing figures distorted in the sun

I can still hear that scream.
It's still lingering
In the air,
Everywhere,
Mother please,
Save me
Grab my hand
I can't
I can still see that face
Sink beneath the waves
Baby please breathe for me
Give me time I am here
Where did you go?
Were did you go


Where the angels that lonely?
Couldn't they suffice for anybody else?
Can't everybody just lie to me?
She's home, she's home,
Crying for me now

And the pain hits me like gunshot
And I'm heading on my way to the floor.
I hear her name and it kills me.
Bottles up, bottles up.
And I'm trying my best to hurt me.
They says it's never enough.
A razor to the wrist for each unshed tear.
Cough it up.
Drink it up.

I can still hear that scream.
It's still lingering
In the air,
Everywhere,
Mother please,
Save me
Grab my hand
I can't
I can still see that face
Sink beneath the waves
Baby please breathe for me
Give me time I am here
Where did you go?
Were did you go

So I had a coma
When I crashed my car in the lake
And I saw your face baby,
I knew it was no mistake

So I went to the doctor
And I told him my heart would break
If I couldn't see you.
He just gave me more pills

But I saw you up there
Still floating by the river
God you always loved that river
I bet your heaven looks just like it

Then I'll like it too
Even though it scares me now when I'm alone
But when I'm with you
I'll be just fine
We can sit
And talk about
Butterflies.
----------
Wrote this for a class when I was 15. It was inspired by one of my friend's mother's story. It's pretty personal for me, and I'm attached to it.
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Tavish Ashvale Dec 7 2006, 11:32 PM Post #3
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Ok all of these suck so just deal with them please. lol. XD

My Quote

"Oh, but what is to say of love, but that, when spoiled, is slow suicide."


Uncertainty

I want to tell you, But don't know how
Everytime I see you,I'm Breathless, I'm wowed
I pass and even talk to you in halls
I really like you, I'm just nervous is all
I can't think of any way to tell you- so I chose poetry
If you feel the same way, Make sure to tell me.

Dead Senses

Walking, you sense it. It's near and you know it;
The clouds move and reveal a great sun.
You search but don't see it, It's gone, But yet;
Still there, You know it is.
Sensing, you turn, But go away it can not.
Staying away from it is impossible;
Crowding around you, Seemingly inside of you;
Fighting it is no use, It takes you over in the end'
It takes over the strongest of people,
Killing, Destroying, From the inside out;
Leaving you dead to the world, unconscience
It seems over, The fight over; Lost.
But you pull out of the death, "Alive" again.
Ready to accept the fight from the next one;
Hoping that the next time, You'll win.

Time

Unbeatable, Inescapable;
Controllng you constantly-
It will never stop for you;
Will never stop for anyone-
Predictably the same;
Yet always misjudged-
Passing by you withought even a care;
But when you watch, Slower it does go-
Mocking you; "Laughing"; doing opposite;
You want it to stop; It stays-
To stay still is what you want, But it flies;
Always the same, But at the same time; Never-
Failing you- stopping, going, staying- Or so it seems;
You'll Never change it, No use in trying-
Death is what you need to free yourself from it;
Only then, will it stop forever, Ceasing to continue.

--♥Michael
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Mika Starley Dec 8 2006, 11:47 AM Post #4
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Mika crept into the library, using only the moon light to guide her way. Sure she had her wand with her, but she thought it would be safer not to light it right now. She peered inside the room, hoping no one was awake anymore, or at least not in the Library. A chilly breeze blew by, making Mika think that there was a window open somewhere. She pulled her cloak tighter around her shoulders as she crept toward the open window. Reachin out to pull it shut, Mika saw someone below on the grounds. "Who the hell is that? Out of bed right now." Relizing that she had described herself in that she rolled her eyes, feling stupid. Leaning as far out of the window as she could without losing her balance, she tried to see who was out there. It wasn't a teacher, she could tell that. It looked like a fifth or sixth year boy. "I might have to check this out." she thought to herself. Forgetting why she had come to the library, Mika tiptoed down the stairs and to the big front door. Pushing it open silently, she peered out to get a better look.
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Regina Bone Dec 8 2006, 05:08 PM Post #5
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[For Sean]

Sean was watching the sky. He often did this when he couldn't sleep, and he hadn't wanted to go to the roof today. Today he needed to be on the ground.


(writers blockkkkkkk sorry its short)
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Banner by Lucette Hartkey
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Tavish Ashvale Dec 8 2006, 05:23 PM Post #6
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((For Kanji))

Kanji walked out of the slytherin common room and was bored as he had been in a long time. He had nothing to do for that night and he really wanted to be occupied. He decided to go to the grounds and see what he could do this late at night. He walked past the paintings in the corridors and watched them as their eyes followed him.

He shuddered as he thought of how creepy they looked. He was glad that they were only this creepy at night. Once he made it to the entrance hall, He took a quick right and headed for the large oaken doors. He pushed on them hard and felt the night air rush against his face. He loved the feeling and found a near tree to sit against. He saw one light that was distinguished against the rest and had a form of a person leaning against the light of it. He also saw one other person on the ground, but decided to just sit there and wait for them to see what he would want to do.
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Emily Overturf Dec 8 2006, 10:24 PM Post #7
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ok, these are probably ten times better then mine but hey, here we go are some of mine:D

Slowly creeping, hardly moving
Rocks so hard and strong
Breaking, smooth, yet standing still.

Water, swift, fushing, soft,
Breaking through the rock
Rushing over, down and back up
waterfalls swift and strong

I stared at the ceiling
To keep my mind away
From the monsters under the bed
To the witches in my head
They stare at me with cold hard eyes
Daring me to sleep
But if I sleep I know what happens
I won't wake up tomarrow
In my own warm bed
But instead in a dungeon
With witches all around
They poke me with long fingers
On my head at the crown
They fatten me up
And in the end
I'll be fed to them
So they can eat me
and have a tasty meal
but in the end
I will wake
In my own soft, warm, cozy, bed.

If you love me
then tell me the truth
tell me the truth today

Love is not, one
that you can count on
It's always stabbing you in the back

Love is there, I am here
Yet you do not love, me back
You do not love me back

I stay in hiding,
until the sun sets low
So many people want to talk to me
I say no..

Love is not, one
that you can count on
It's always stabing you in the back

Love is there, I am here
Yet you do not love, me back
You do not love me back.

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Mika Starley Dec 9 2006, 11:39 PM Post #8
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me not a poet, so ill comment on you guys's poems.


Sara: love it...tis awesome-ness

michael: they dont suck they are really good for 5 minute poems that you wrote on the back of your notebook when you were bored. hell, they are really good anyways, and im not just sayin that cos i have to either.

molly:i think this is one of your best ones ive read so far. i love it!


keep it up you guys, your all awesome <3
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Mika Starley Dec 10 2006, 12:29 AM Post #9
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When Mika recognised the boy as that guy from the forest the other day, Sean she thought his name was, she decided to creep closer and go and talk to him. As she pushed the door open a bit more, she noticed someone sitting near a tree, but she figured it was just a shadow from a tree or something else. Mika walked over to Sean. "Hey, what's up?" she said kind of sneaking up behind him and tapping his shoulder.


((ahhh! shortness!!!i think everyone's having writers block except michael...))
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Regan Winter Dec 10 2006, 10:11 AM Post #10
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Thanks <3
Katie, because I' stupid like that what do think it's about?
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Sean Brennan Dec 10 2006, 12:54 PM Post #11
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Startled, Sean jumped about a foot off the ground and spun around quickly. Spotting that it was that girlk from the forrest he calmed down, catching his breath, calming his pounding heart. "Why'd you startle me like that?" he asked playfully, his eyes searching her face quickly before returning to the sky.
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Thanks for the siggy Lu!
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Mika Starley Dec 10 2006, 03:45 PM Post #12
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Mika giggled when the boy jump severl inches off the ground. "Hey. Sorry I scared you."she said with another giggle. So, what are you doing out here this late?" Realizing that she had never gotten his name, "Um oh, I never got your name."


((AHHH!! SHORTNESS!!!))
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Tavish Ashvale Dec 11 2006, 07:01 PM Post #13
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Hopeless Love

Never knowing, Almost oblivious to the truth
Neither one of you knowing the facts
Being together all the time, but not the way you want,
Best of friends, you both know everything,
But that is all. Disapointment settles in.
Wondering, Can it ever be,But no, It can not-
It will never be, Doomed to be just friends,
Living a life of woner and sadness;
You'll never know what could have been,
If it could have been at all. It could've worked.
To you; at least.
Your mind is stuck, Fixed just on her, unable to move on.
She talks to you; She was used again, to help her; she asks.
Non-hesitant you are, Helping her, and saying goodbye,
Watching as more and more guys go through her; use her.
But you don't stop it; you can't; you can only help,
She'll never know the feelings you have; almost like she doesn't care.
She hurts from the pain. You heal her once again,
She looks you over like the last.
You seem to die a little, But you move on,
Realizing, at last, that it was a hopeless love. ♥

--♥Michael
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Helena Briser Jan 5 2007, 11:46 AM Post #14
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i dont like it too much, but here it is...i was forced to write it so i didnt fail english....just want another person's opion on it.

All Wrong

You look over here, pretending not to see
What's really happeneing
You see him with his arms around me,
I notice your fists clench in pain.


What went wrong?
Why are we like this?
Why must we be this way?

We may never know what caused our goodbyes,
But that's just how it is and
We can't fix it.
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams
I think your death, it must be killin' me...




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